Across The Universe
by brokenlovesong
Summary: Blaine and Kurt are in college and going strong, when Kurt suddenly starts acting strange. This causes their relationship to take a drastic change leading Blaine to find out how much he is willing to do for Kurt. Contains sex, occasional strong language.
1. Chapter 1

"_Blaine. I'm picking you up at 3 Be ready_."

Blaine had looked at the strange message for what felt like ten times within the last hour. He hadn't heard a word from Kurt for three days, even though he had tried calling and texting him. When he had tried calling the house phone his dad had just given him the message that he was asleep - as he had been the many times he had tried calling before.

And now he had sent that odd text. It was 3:08 and Kurt still hadn't shown up or replied to his messages, when a car was honking in the driveway. Blaine would know that horn any day, so he grabbed his coat and hurried downstairs. His parents weren't home so luckily there was no need for explanation.

"Hey there beautiful." Kurt smiled warmly as Blaine closed the car door behind him.

"What's going on?" He wasn't going to pretend that he wasn't angry. Blaine's voice was sharp and his eyes were hard as he looked at Kurt.

"What do you mean?" Kurt didn't lose the spark in his eyes but kept up the innocent look on his face.

"Come on, Kurt. Don't play dumb with me. You've been avoiding me for three days, and frankly you've just been acting really weird for the last two months. Sometimes you disappear from the face of the Earth - you don't answer my calls or my texts, and your dad just tells me that you're sleeping. You don't even come to school those days; and then when I finally do see you your moodswings are like a rollercoaster. One second you're singing and dancing and laughing, and then the next second you break down crying or get all pissed about nothing. Would you please tell me what is happening?"

Blaine locked his eyes on Kurt who more or less resembled a deer caught in the headlights of a car.

"It's nothing, Blaine. I've just been a little sick lately. It's nothing. It's just some virus. No big deal." His voice had turned weak and his eyes had grown darker. Blaine sighed and looked out the windshield before he turned back to Kurt with a slightly softer expression.

"I know. I know. I just can't help feeling that there's something you're not telling me."

Blaine knew that if Kurt was actually hiding something it was serious. They had always told each other everything, and this was also the reason he decided to do his best to convince himself that he was just being paranoid.

"It's just - let's just go, okay." Blaine continued. "Where are we even going, anyway?" He forced a smile and silently tried convincing himself that everything was okay, hoping to forget it soon.

Kurt changed drastically; from seeming scared and hurt, to immediately changing his attitude to playfully teasing Blaine.

"If I told you now it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" He stuck out his tongue before he started the car and began to sing along to the song on the radio.

Blaine didn't say anymore during the entire trip; he observed the rain that was pounding on the windows, while he listened to Kurt singing along to every song that was played.

Kurt parked the car in front of a small sports arena about fifteen minutes after being on the road, and then he turned to Blaine.

"Kurt. What are we doing here?" He was confused as the people running through the rain across the parking lot were families, or single mothers or fathers with their kids.

But Kurt still refused to spill the details, so Blaine merely followed him inside the arena.

The sight that met him was a chaos of playing children. He hadn't considered the fact that every Saturday for the duration of October and November a traveling play centre would be put up inside the arena.

There was screaming and playing kids everywhere. Trampolines, bouncy castles, little girls with crooked pigtails and mothers stopping fights between little boys.

Blaine looked confused around the arena before he returned his attention to Kurt.

"This has gotta be the last place I would have expected we'd be spending our Saturday. What's up with this?" He was completely taken aback by the huge grin on Kurt's face. Suddenly he seemed like a child himself - there was something innocently cute about the way his cheeks were flushed from the warmth inside the arena and the way his eyes sparkled by the sight of the fun and games surrounding them.

"I've always wanted to come here and forget being a teenager for a while. I never did these kinds of things when I was a kid, because I was too busy playing dress up and having tea parties for my dolls. Then yesterday I drove by a poster advertising it, and I thought that you probably would love this too."

Blaine tried to hide a snicker by looking down to the floor. He thought that it was really cute, but he had no idea how Kurt could have the idea that he would enjoy something like this. To run around acting like they were 7 years old with screaming toddlers and the smell of feet and sweat around them. To be honest he would never in a million years have thought that Kurt would have found this appealing either.

"What? You don't like the idea? Well so be it, I am gonna go out there and have fun." Kurt stuck his tongue out at Blaine before he hurried down the stairs to get an overlook on where to go first. Blaine walked casually after him giggling to himself at Kurt's silliness, observing how much Kurt actually resembled the playing kids around him.

It was like watching him in a whole new light, Blaine had never seen him like this before. Kurt was mostly playful in his outfits and performances, so to see him be playful and childlike in this fashion was mindblowing and made Blaine fall in love with him all over again. He couldn't help feel an urge to run after him and not care about anything.

He watched as Kurt opened his boots and threw them onto the ground next to a trampoline before he crawled onto it and started jumping next to the fascinated girls looking at him with big eyes. Blaine had to stop himself from bursting into laughter when Kurt caught his eye.

"Come on, Blaine. It'll be fun. Stop being so scared of what people think and be a little ridiculous instead," was all Kurt could squeeze out between his heaving for air. His cheeks were red and it looked like his wide grin was cemented into his face. He looked amazing like that and Blaine had completely forgot that he had been mad at Kurt when he had got in his car previously that day.

Kurt fought his way across the trampoline to get out onto the floor to throw his arms around Blaine.

"Will you go with me to the ball pit then? Please? I promise you that you're gonna have fun," pleaded Kurt, his eyes huge like a puppy.

"Okay then - but just because you're cheating by giving me those eyes," agreed Blaine with a giggle, letting his fingers lock with Kurt's as they walked across the floor to the big pool of balls in all kinds of colors. A group of kids were playing around in the pool, throwing the balls in the air and throwing them at each other.

Kurt quickly jumped into the pit without letting go of Blaine's hand. Blaine just stayed in the spot looking at him.

"So you expect me to take off my shoes and follow you into _that_? Do you have any idea how many diseases that's gotta be stuffed in there?" He raised an eyebrow in disbelief, not sure whether or not he even knew his boyfriend anymore, but as he stared at Kurt it slowly hit him that he was being serious and that Kurt wasn't going to stop begging him until he was acting like a child.

So Blaine gave in and kicked off his shoes to join Kurt. He only got one foot into the pool before Kurt dragged him down so both of them fell and all they could see was a blur of colors and the smell of children and feet. This didn't seem to bother Kurt though, because he just giggled and let his hands fight their way to Blaine's hips so he could drag his waist closer to his own where Blaine instantly felt why Kurt was in this sudden giggly cuddly mood.

He had to admit that Kurt's enthusiasm for the playground was a bit more attractive than he would have thought it to be. As they were hidden in the dark under the colorful orbs and the sounds of cheerful screams and laughter over their heads, yet they were out of people's eyesight; he started to feel it too.

Blaine let his hands rise up to find Kurt's face so he could drag him closer and let their lips clasp together in an eager kiss. As their tongues met it was like a fire lit inside Kurt and his breathing instantly got heavier while the temperature in his cheeks skyrocketed in less than a second.

Kurt let his thigh slide in between Blaine's to start rubbing his knee up and down his crotch making stars start dancing at the inside of Blaine's closed eyelids.

He could feel his jeans getting tighter and the adrenaline was shooting through his veins - it was so wrong to be doing this here, but it felt so good.

He smiled against Kurt's lips massaging his own before he let his right hand slide down over Kurt's neck, down his chest and ribs, crossing his perfectly sculpted abs to end at the line of his jeans.

They were so goddamn tight and Blaine knew that they shouldn't be doing this. He just needed to feel him. Just for a second.

He started fumbling with his buckle, and it only took him a few seconds to open both his belt and pants. _Practice made perfect_.

He let his thumb lift the elastic line of Kurt's boxers so he could let the tips of his fingers slowly slide down to have the palm of his hand feel how hard Kurt had got. This caught Kurt off guard for a brief split second, and yet he wasn't surprised, as he bit softly down on Blaine's lower lip to avoid a sound louder than a gasp escape his throat.

Now that he closed his hand around Kurt's cock he was starting to doubt that this was a good idea to be doing this. All he wanted was more now, and he could feel that Kurt wanted more too.

His head started feeling dizzy by the sound of Kurt's moaning in his ear as he rhythmically let his hand swipe up and down inside his boxers, and he could feel Kurt's fingers dig deeper into his shoulder.

But then something happened. It was like they had fallen into an alternate universe where everything was opposite.

One second Kurt was biting his earlobe whispering for more, the next he had his palms firmly placed on his chest pushing him away as if he had been burned.

"What happened? Did I hurt you? Are you okay?" Asked Blaine so fast that he was afraid Kurt didn't understand a word he had said.

Kurt didn't respond. His face was pained and his hands were frantically trying to button his jeans with his fingers shaking so much that Blaine felt an urge to help him, but the look on Kurt's face suggested that wouldn't be wise, and that it was best if he kept his distance.

"I'm not feeling so good," said Kurt under his breath before he got up and disappeared out of the pool.

Blaine felt it as if a bucket of slushies had been dropped over his head as he sat up and saw Kurt determined walking across the arena to get his boots.

He got out of the pool himself and hurried to put on his shoes so he could run after Kurt who was almost at the door now.

When he caught up with him he stayed a few feet behind him. He wanted to grab his arm and demand an explanation, but he was afraid that it would cause a scene and he didn't want that.

As they got outside it had gone from raining to pouring and Kurt was walking so fast that Blaine had to run to keep up with him.

Kurt slammed the car door after him and leaned his forehead against the steering wheel as Blaine got into the passenger seat next to him.

"What the hell was that about? Kurt, you can't just walk away like that. If I did something you have to tell me. I can't read your mind, you know! Would you look at me? I am talking to you -" but he stopped mid sentence when he saw that Kurt was shaking. Was he crying?

Blaine felt his stomach drop to his feet and a bad taste well up in his mouth. Why couldn't he just have shut his idiotic mouth and try talking to him instead of yelling?

He wanted to stretch out his hand to touch Kurt's shoulder softly, to find out if he really was crying, but he knew that there was a very big chance that it would only make the situation worse.

Kurt sat up in his seat and wiped his cheeks dry before he put the key in the ignition and turned it, leaving Blaine sitting next to him, staring in confusion.

"Kurt. Would you please talk to me? What did I do? I am sorry. I thought you wanted it too," implored Blaine. He didn't dare to look at Kurt. He knew that he was crying and he knew that his insides would curl up by the sight, but he also knew that when Kurt was in this mood he would freak out if Blaine tried to do something about it.

"Just - leave it alone, Blaine. I'm driving you home," sniffed Kurt putting the car into gear before he drove out to find the street and headed for Blaine's house.

Neither of them said another word on the ride home; Kurt was staring coldly out the windshield keeping focus on the road he drove along, strongly emphasizing how much he didn't want to look at Blaine.

Blaine was sitting with an internal struggle between wanting to beg Kurt to talk to him and being really angry and just felt like screaming at him, explaining that he couldn't behave like that, and that he owed him an explanation.

When Kurt parked the car in the Anderson's driveway Blaine wondered whether or not it would be fitting to try and discuss the episode one more time, but he couldn't help being afraid of the consequences.

"Will you call me tonight?" He settled for asking when he looked into the car before shutting the door after him.

"Yeah. Sure," replied Kurt halfheartedly not even looking at him, so Blaine sighed and slammed the door before he walked towards the house, turning on the footstep to see Kurt's car disappear behind the hedge at the side of the road.

Kurt didn't call that night, and Blaine refused to be the one to call or text when Kurt had said that he would. He was well aware that he was being childish, but he was getting tired of being the one to do everything in their relationship.

Blaine couldn't stop picturing Kurt's face when he had pushed him away and jumped out of the pool of plastic balls. The way he had looked when he had asked him to just leave it. He had looked like someone Blaine had never met, as if he had been a completely different person; and it was scary. How could he change from being happy and playful, lustful and horny to just being… like that?

Blaine rolled around on his bed to look at the stars they had painted on the ceiling over his bed. His parents didn't know that they were even there. If they knew they would kill him - at least his dad would.

_One weekend when Blaine's parents had been out of town Kurt had stayed over and they had gone to town to buy glow-in-the-dark paint to make the hidden stars so they only could be seen at night._

_It had been Kurt's idea. He had pulled out the box of Disney movies Blaine had hidden from his dad under his bed and they had watched Lion King for the millionth time._

_As Simba looked to the stars to ask Mufasa for help Kurt had jumped to his knees in the bed and crawled to sit on Blaine's hips blocking the TV._

"_I've got an idea. You're gonna love it. We're gonna paint stars on your ceiling the way you told me that you wished for as a kid but your dad said that it was for girls," proclaimed Kurt eagerly. He was grinning wide and it looked like he had already painted stars in his own eyes._

_Blaine had laughed at him and tried looking around him to finish the movie, but Kurt refused to move. His face changed and he suddenly looked very serious._

"_I'm not kidding, Blaine. Let's hurry before the store closes." Kurt jumped down on the floor and started putting on his Alexander McQueen jacket. When he turned to see that Blaine was still lying on the bed he let his arms drop to his sides._

"_Kurt, you know my dad is gonna kill me if I paint stars all over my room." Blaine tried to explain without putting out Kurt's mood completely, but to his surprise the spark in Kurt's face grew even stronger than before. It reached a point where Blaine couldn't stop himself from smiling at the sight of Kurt's ecstasy._

_Kurt crossed the floor in one leap to grab Blaine's hand starting to pull him up off the bed._

"_That's the brilliance of it, silly. We're gonna do it with that glow-in-the-dark paint so it can only be seen in the dark." Kurt beamed at his own cleverness when he saw Blaine's face light up in a grin too._

"_That is pretty genius, I've gotta say." He put on his own jacket before he pulled Kurt close to him._

"_That way we can have sex under the stars even though it's freezing outside," he whispered with a smirk, letting his mouth get so close to Kurt's that they could taste each other's breath. He saw Kurt's eyes swim for a second before he had to shake his head to remember what their purpose with getting up was in the first place._

_They had spent an hour at the store trying to convince the teenage girl that they were cousins that were getting married. They had laughed all the way home discussing the girl's shocked face when she had caught them in a kiss._

_When they had got back to Blaine's room they had covered up the entire room in plastic and turned off all of the lights to see the paint glow and when they were done painting they had taken a long shower. Together. So they could help each other wash off the paint they had played around with and got a bit too much covered in._

_The rest of the weekend was spent in bed with closed curtains and as little clothes as possible pretending that they were trapped in a dungeon and would never be able to get out._

_When Blaine drove Kurt home before his parents got home Sunday night Kurt had cried and said that he didn't want to leave. That he would miss him too much and that it was way too hard to be apart._

"_But we'll see each other at school tomorrow, and then we can be together after school. We'll only be apart for a few hours, and for most of them we'll be asleep," Blaine had tried desperately to cheer him up with, but the tears had just kept on rolling down Kurt's porcelain cheeks. _

"_But a few hours is way too long. I hate it when you're away. I just wanna be with you all the time," Kurt had sobbed. Blaine had wrapped his arms around him and let him cry out not really understanding this sudden blast of emotions._

_It had ended up with Blaine promising to call him as soon as he got home and had said hi to his parents. They had talked for three hours until Kurt had fallen asleep to the sound of Blaine singing `_I'll Be There´.

It had only been a month ago but it already felt like it had been years. It seemed like everything had changed without him even notice it.

He kept picking up his phone just to throw it back on the bed because he knew that there would be nothing, before a text ticked in and made him fumble desperately after it.

"_Bro. We'll be there at 2."_

Of course. He had forgot that he had promised Puck and Finn that they could come over and watch the game the next day.

They usually watched football at Blaine's house. His dad always seemed weirdly satisfied when Puck and Finn came over to watch sports, and then he would let them use the TV room that really was more like his dad's man-room. Blaine had a theory that his dad was still hoping that he was going to turn straight as long as he did stereotypical straight-stuff with stereotypical straight guys.

In reality he didn't really feel like hanging with them the next day, but he just texted Puck back that it was all cool. He did promise, and maybe he could get a bit out of Finn on why Kurt was acting so strange.

When he finally fell asleep that night he had a restless sleep filled with odd dreams of Kurt turning the back on him just as they were about to kiss. Then when he turned back, his face had disappeared and he would be dressed in all black.

Blaine woke up several times during the night feeling strangely uncomfortable in his own bed not really knowing if he was hot or cold, and was unsure if he wanted to sleep anymore.

"Hey dude, what's up with you today?" Puck punched a brotherly fist against Blaine's shoulder when he sat back down in the couch. He put up his feet on the mahogany table as he took another sip of his soda.

"I don't know, man. Kurt has just been acting really strange and he's been like this for some time now. I'm starting to worry that he's not into me anymore." Blaine choked the can in his hand and threw it on the table. Puck looked as if Christmas had been canceled and didn't move an inch.

"Are you saying that you and Kurt are gonna break up?" Puck's tone was concerned and his face had turned pale. He was staring at Blaine with a confused expression in his eyes and his mouth open.

"No. I could never leave him. But if he doesn't want me anymore -" But Blaine didn't get to finish the sentence when out of nowhere Finn cut him off in a raised voice.

"Dude. He still loves you, okay. You're everything to him!" Puck and Blaine simultaneously turned their heads to look at him in surprise.

Every time they had touched the subject of Kurt there had been a shift in Finn's mood. It wasn't until now that Blaine noticed it though. Now that he thought about it he remembered that Finn had tried avoiding all talk of Kurt, and every time Blaine or Puck had mentioned anything about him casually, Finn had shut close and drawn away from the conversation.

"But what is it then? What did he tell you? Come on, Finn. Help me out here. I know you guys talk - and lately Kurt hasn't told me anything." Blaine felt the discomfort rise inside him. He hadn't mentioned his worries to anyone, so now that he finally said it out loud all of his worrying thoughts resurfaced at once. His brain overloaded with all of the paranoia that had filled his brain since his concern started to take form.

"Just - he still loves you. He's just been a bit stressed out lately. College and future and everything. Just stuff, you know." Finn kept his focus directed towards the screen, but Blaine was still feeling uneasy. Something just didn't add up.

"Bro, what the hell does that even mean? If he's got problems he should talk to Blaine about it. They're boyfriends!" argued Puck, suddenly sounding angry as if it was Finn's fault that Kurt didn't talk about what was troubling him.

"Gee, relax. It's not my fault. I told Kurt to talk to Blaine but he doesn't want to bother him. Can we just watch the game?"

That settled it. Both Blaine and Puck knew that the conversation was over, so they retreated to finish watching the game in silence.

For the rest of the afternoon Blaine's brain was a blurry mess of thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day Blaine didn't wait for Kurt in the school parking lot. All he had heard from him since Saturday was a text saying "_goodnight_" the night before, even though Kurt knew that Blaine would have gone to bed at the time he sent it.

Blaine just let himself hide in the back of the classroom all day. He tried his best to keep up with what was going on in the lessons but mostly spent time doodling over the pad on which he was supposed to be taking notes.

All in all it was a pretty ordinary Monday, and by lunch time Blaine wasn't even pondering about Kurt.

He spent the break with a group of guys from his English class in a heated game of foosball in the cafeteria, when he suddenly realized that Kurt had come to sit on a table, observing their match.

As soon as Blaine and Coby had beat the opposite team 10 to 7 Kurt was on his feet stopping at Blaine's right side.

He discretely slid a hand down in the pocket of Blaine's jeans as he leaned in to whisper into his ear.

"I've got an idea. Don't make any plans Thursday night," was all he said before he placed a quick kiss on his cheek and then bounced off through the cafeteria. All Blaine could do was stand perplexed looking after him, not really being able to keep his eyes off his ass as his hips were swaying in the perfect way they were always doing it when he walked.

When Kurt disappeared out of the door at the other end of the cafeteria Blaine turned around to find his friends giggling at him.

"Hooo, Anderson, you are so whipped!" Coby made a sound with his mouth while doing a bad imitation with his right hand of using a whip in Blaine's direction.

"That might be, but I'm still getting a lot more than you," smirked Blaine before throwing the little white ball after him.

The cafeteria started emptying out shortly after making the boys grab their bags and head for their classes.

For the first time in weeks Blaine went through a entire day without dwelling on Kurt's odd behavior. He spent the rest of the day hanging out with the guys from his class doing school work and discussing sports, and when he got home that night his head felt so much lighter and it was just an overall relief.

This feeling of relief continued throughout the next few days.

Kurt was at school every day and they spent their lunch breaks in the cafeteria or library together; holding hands under the table and sitting close not caring what people had to think about them. Kurt was extremely cuddly and lovey dovey, and Blaine almost forgot that he had even been frustrated with him. It was almost like when they had first started dating.

They were both really grateful that their friends in college had shown to be so supportive of their relationship. When they had started college they had both been scared that it might cause them troubles and at first they did what they could to not be too close in school.

One day Blaine had a social studies class where they discussed LGBT rights. The majority of his class had shown a really supportive attitude towards the issue they were touching. That made him go home and tell Kurt, and the next day he decided to come out to his class. Most of them claimed that they already knew by the connection between him and Kurt they had observed, but it didn't matter because they were extremely open and Blaine felt a burden fall from his shoulders.

Since then he and Kurt hadn't thought twice about being close at school. The first week some jocks came with harassing comments, but to Blaine and Kurt's surprise their friends stood up for them. It didn't take long until the whole school knew that this was how things were and people started gaining the guts to ask them whatever they were curious about on the LGBT subject, or even personal questions.

Blaine and Kurt knew for a fact that there were a couple of other gay kids at their school, and that they weren't ready to come out to the public yet, so they merely did what they could to support them and help them through their personal issues with coming to terms with their own identity.

"Kurt. What are we doing tonight?" asked Blaine hesitantly. He was starting to get used to Kurt not wanting to spill the word on what his plans were, and he was also starting to get used to his ideas being a bit out of the ordinary for him.

"I'm not gonna tell you, Blaine. But I promise - it's gonna be fun!" Kurt beamed at him in the mirror while tying a bandana around his neck.

"But uhm - we'll probably end up skipping school tomorrow. Just so you know. Can you tell your parents that you're staying at Coby's place tonight? Then you can stay here. My dad and Carol are going out of town tonight, so we've only got Finn to deal with," Kurt flirted, his long eyelashes dashing in Blaine's direction.

"Sure. I think? It would be a bit easier if you told me why, though." He wasn't going to give up. He had a feeling that Kurt enjoyed his curiosity and he might as well humor him by continuing on nag him.

Blaine got up from Kurt's bed and walked across the floor to put his arms around his waist from behind. He was just tall enough to rest his chin on Kurt's shoulder so he could see his face in the mirror. For a second he thought he saw Kurt's eyes grow wet, but then he blinked and they just seemed sparkling.

Kurt turned around to face Blaine instead, wrapping his arms around his torso letting their eyes lock for a short intimate second.

"Are you ready?" asked Kurt biting his lower lip. His eyes flickered between Blaine's brown ones and Blaine it felt it as if some heavy cloud of anticipation had covered them.

"Ready for what?" responded Blaine, trying to get another clue out of him, but Kurt just shook his head at him and kissed his nose before he let go of Blaine and jumped energetically towards the door.

Blaine rolled his eyes before he followed his boyfriend downstairs where a cab was waiting for them.

"Heeey guys. You made it!" Puck greeted them with a beer in his hand and a broad grin covering his face.

"Kurt told me that he was gonna get you out here, but I wasn't sure how much I believed that you would do it," teased Puck as he hugged Blaine.

As Puck had hugged both of the guys he and Kurt observed Blaine looking around the field they were standing at. After a few seconds of silently staring at him they both cracked up in laughter.

"I didn't tell him where we were going," informed Kurt out of the side of his mouth to Puck. He was still giggling a bit at the sight of his boyfriend's horrified face and had to hide his mouth against Puck's shoulder to not lose it completely.

What Blaine was seeing was an entire field covered in motorcycles and bikers. Large men with long beards wearing leather suits, even larger black and silver machines with flames and eagles on the sides. There were big breasted women in tiny shorts and skirts with tattoos up their back, and little children wearing big sunglasses and bandanas.

Blaine looked to Puck and Kurt who were standing with an arm around each other still waiting for him to say something. They were grinning at him and he felt like he was being the center of a practical joke. He had no idea what they were even doing there, but he had a scary theory.

"Uhm, what exactly are we doing here?" he dared to ask. He wasn't sure if he wanted the answer when but he had thrown it out there and now there was no way back.

"What'd ya think? We're gonna party, man" exclaimed Puck making Kurt's face light up with excitement.

"Party? Party! Are you serious? Party with bikers?" Blaine burst out in disbelief. He suddenly felt uneasy in his entire body, and had a sudden urge to call for a cab to come and pick them up.

"Kurt. We can't go in there. Have you seen them? They're big, dirty, greasy, tattooed men - they could crush us just by looking at us. I bet they don't even own a toothbrush," peeped Blaine in a voice extremely high for what he usually sounded like. His frustration only rose further by seeing Kurt starting to giggle again, and Puck rolling his eyes.

"Relax, man. They're cool. You'll be fine as long you're with me, I've been coming here for years. Here. Take a beer," maintained Puck as he threw Blaine a can of beer.

Blaine watched them as Kurt and Puck each opened a beer themselves, Puck rolling almost the entire thing in one mouthful, Kurt taking a huge mouthful himself, making a face before swallowing the whole thing.

Puck clapped Kurt on the back with a proud look.

"Look at that - the little boy is starting to grow up." He gestured for them to follow him and Kurt quickly started tripping after him over the mudded field, followed by Blaine who still had no idea how to act on this. He had to admit that he was afraid that something was going to happen to Kurt, but he was also a bit concerned about the new jeans that he was wearing - he really didn't want them stained, and he wasn't sure whether he would be able to get the mud or the grass off them.

Puck introduced them to a group of bikers that looked amused by Kurt's petite handshake. Blaine kept in the background; scowling and not really knowing where to put himself.

It didn't take long until Kurt was popular among the bikers as he asked them questions about their bikes and their tattoos. One big guy with long hair and a beard that resembled a member of ZZ Top, seemed to have developed a certain weak spot for Kurt as he kept an eye on him whenever he walked around between the big machines.

"Oh my God, Blaine look at this!" Kurt grabbed around Blaine's wrist and dragged him over to a woman wearing a short leather skirt and a sleeveless denim top. Both of her arms were covered in tattoos and she had several piercings all over her face and along the entire edge of both of her ears.

"Look at this. Isn't it amazing art?" He traced his index finger up the woman's bicep where an old school microphone was tattooed with notes circling around it.

The woman, who was more than a head taller than Blaine because of her boots, looked down at Blaine and winked at him resulting in him trying to try covering it up as if he had something in his eye.

"Oh don't mind my boyfriend, he's afraid we'll get muddy or catch some sort of disease," smiled Kurt at her before returning his attention to the ink on her skin.

"Did you get all of these done by the same guy? Is there some sort of rule of what tattoos a person can get?" he asked with a very focused tone.

"Hey man. Is Porcelain thinking bout getting some ink?" joked Puck as he got over and put an arm around Blaine's shoulder.

"No. Of course he's not. Why would he do that?" proclaimed Blaine, making a face emphasizing how ridiculous the idea would be.

"Actually, Blaine - I do want a tattoo. I don't know what it would be, but I want one. I do," said Kurt in a hurt tone. He circled around the woman to look at the tattoos covering her legs and the lower half of her back clearly admiring them with wide eyes.

Puck barked with laughter gurgling down a mouthful of beer before Kurt grabbed the can out of his hand and emptied it.

Then he crushed up the can and threw it on the ground before he ran over to his ZZ Top looking friend.

"I was thinking - could I try a ride on your motorcycle?" asked Kurt dashing his eyelashes at the huge man in front of him. Blaine was convinced that if the guy breathed a bit too hard near Kurt he would snap in two.

But before anyone noticed Kurt was sitting on a big blue Harley with skulls painted over the machine. He had borrowed one of the women's leather jackets and was about to put on a helmet as Blaine rushed to his side.

"You can't be serious, Kurt. _What_ are you doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed? Biker parties, tattoos, and now you're gonna ride a motorcycle? What if something goes wrong?" Blaine felt the adrenaline of fear running through his veins as he put an arm around Kurt's waist trying to pull him down from the motorcycle.

"Blaine. Would you please stop? I really wanna do this. I've always thought they were beautiful and manly. When my dad got some into his shop I always fantasized about sitting on one but I never dared to ask. So now I'm doing it. If you don't like it; fine! But I'm not gonna let that stop me," explained Kurt, letting his last words come out a bit snappy.

Blaine looked down searching for words but not really knowing what to say, so instead he gave up.

"Please. Be careful, _please_. I don't wanna see you go home in an ambulance. I love you, Kurt," whispered Blaine placing his palm softly on Kurt's thigh sending him begging eyes that he hoped would convince him to abandon the outrageous idea.

"Don't worry. This guy's been riding these for ages. I'm sure he knows what he's doing. Besides, having me on the back isn't gonna feel like anything more than having a Victorian doll seated behind him. Just relax. I'll see you in a few minutes." Kurt kissed the tips of his fingers and placed them on Blaine's lips before he grinned and pulled over the helmet making his head disappear.

Blaine took a few steps back to stand next to Puck who was hitting on some girl.

The big machine roared and spun a bit before he saw it disappear over the field and down the muddy road.

"Wow, Anderson. Your boy is really starting to go crazy. That is so awesome, dude! You've got yourself a wildy," Puck cried out before he noticed Blaine's concerned expression.

"Chill. It's gonna be cool. These dudes got their machines under control. And so what if he wants a tattoo? Tattoos are sexy." Puck rubbed his shoulder a bit up Blaine's but the only response he got was a dissatisfied groan.

As soon as Kurt's feet hit the ground again he swayed a bit but the second he got the feel of the ground and stood firmly again as he started to dance around, clearly more affected by the alcohol than he had been before getting up on the bike.

Puck took the chance and let Kurt do a spin before he hooked him up with a bottle of Jack Daniels. He swallowed down half of the bottle in less than a minute before he started heaving for breath leaving Puck broken with laughter.

"Blaine. It was amazing. You should try it. The feeling of the humming of the machine vibrating in my body, and the wind pressing against me like I was gonna float away. It was such a rush," cheered Kurt.

"It was one of the most sexy things I've ever tried. I don't think my jeans have ever felt so tight," he flirted, until he saw the look on Blaine's face.

"Jesus. I am only saying this one more time; you need to loosen up, or you might as well go home. I am gonna stay here and party with Puck a little longer." Kurt was mumbling and Blaine noticed that he was starting to have trouble standing straight as Kurt let a hand slide inside Blaine's collar with the heavy smell of whiskey bathing his face.

"I'm just worried about you, that's all. I don't wanna see you hurt, and Puck isn't really in control of anything here. But I'm not gonna leave you, so - let's go find me a beer then," sighed Blaine making Kurt smirk back at him.

It was already dark but Blaine agreed to staying a few more hours.

Kurt got more and more drunk and started jokingly posing against the motorcycles pretending to be on America's Next Top Model. Everyone was watching him and laughing at his entertainment while Puck already had been hitting on several of the women and had finally found one willing to make out with him. Meanwhile Blaine was starting to feel the buzzing in his head and swirling in his fingers but tried resisting it to keep an eye on Kurt.

He was standing a bit away from where Kurt was in some drinking game with his ZZ Top looking friend who had placed a big hand on his back to avoid him tripping over when a young girl who didn't look like she was more than 17, came over to Blaine. She was dressed in tiny denim shorts and a cut off plaided shirt. Her nose and hipbones were pierced and as she smacked her gum he could see that her tongue was pierced too. She had a Chinese dragon tattooed from her thigh ending at the lower portion of her back and her nails were painted black.

"You're cute. I haven't seen you here before," said the girl trying to start a conversation. Blaine felt uncomfortable and looked desperately for an excuse to get away from her.

She started running her fingers up and down his arm and he flexed every muscle in his body making him stand stiff.

"Do you wanna fool around?" asked the girl starting to get ready to stick her tongue in his ear.

"You know - I've got a lot of piercings, but there's more than just the ones you can see," teased the girl with a flirtatious smile on her lips.

Blaine felt the panic rise inside him and he hurried to take a step backwards away from her.

"Actually - I'm gay so… I don't think I'm the right one. Look, there's my boyfriend," squealed Blaine as he saw Kurt coming in their direction.

"Of course you're gay. I already knew that. It can be smelt from across the field. That doesn't mean you can't have some fun. Or maybe you're more into a threeway? Involving your cute little bird here -" she gestured towards Kurt who was standing next to her now. Blaine almost expected him to have some sort of fit by her words, but he didn't.

"I don't think so. That's not really our thing - go try Puck. I bet he'll gladly entertain you," Kurt smiled at the girl, pointing her in Puck's direction.

The girl shot Blaine a sour look before she turned on her heels and strolled away, her cowboy boots hitting the ground so hard that mud and grass was splashing up around her legs.

Kurt turned on his heel and before Blaine knew it Kurt had stuck his tongue in his mouth. They stood there letting their lips and tongues tangle up for a bit before Kurt stopped them and led Blaine back to the party where the bikers had started singing old school heavy metal songs and the women started dancing.

Kurt started dancing closely up against Blaine before he changed his mind and walked over to Puck to get another drink. Then he started dancing against Puck instead and Puck just joined in on the fun.

They continued singing and dancing for a bit while Blaine looked at them as he got a few more drinks as well. The bikers around them started cheering for Kurt and Puck, and Blaine couldn't help smiling at how ridiculous they were looked.

After a even more beers and bit more whiskey Kurt started dancing more and more promiscuous and the girls were giggling over the way he was sliding up and down Puck with a flirty expression covering his face.

"Hey Kurt. Come 'ere." Blaine grabbed Kurt around the wrist and dragged him away from the party to make it easier for them to talk. They found themselves surrounded by big bikes and the sound of the party behind them was muffled by their distance.

"I was thinking - when are we going home?" asked Blaine in a thick voice. He had a tough time keeping his gaze straight, but Kurt wasn't any better himself.

"Awww, Blaine. You promised that we could stay," started Kurt to whine when he suddenly felt a cold hand on the lower of his back under his shirt.

Blaine dragged him closer and let his nose run up and down Kurt's neck while breathing heavily.

"It's just - I just really want to be alone with you right now," said Blaine under his breath letting his hand slide a little longer up Kurt's back as he started to kiss Kurt's collarbone.

Kurt was breathing hard and Blaine could feel him get excited.

Kurt started letting his fingertips run down the hem of Blaine's jeans on his back before he suddenly grabbed around Blaine's arms and pushed him violently up against one of the machines.

"Blaine. I want you to fuck me. Right here, right now; against this motorcycle," insisted Kurt with his nose hid in Blaine's curls and his lips so close to his ear that it almost felt as if he was inside his brain. Blaine was getting dizzy and his jeans were getting uncomfortably tight.

"You're so fucking sexy, but - we can't. What if we get caught? They're gonna kill us," responded Blaine in a tone that he himself didn't even think was convincing.

Before he knew it Kurt was starting to unbutton his jeans letting his thumbs caress Blaine's hips before he started dragging down his pants.

"Kurt. No, not here -" objected Blaine, this time a bit more strict.

But it was too late. Kurt was already on his way down on his knees and it was only a second before Blaine felt his tongue running down the shaft of his cock. All he could do now was let his fingers run through Kurt's hair and lean against the Goldwing to avoid falling behind.

Blaine felt himself getting more and more tensed up in his entire body as Kurt let his wet lips run down around his erection. As his lips were running up and down he let his tongue follow the movements, tracing the veins up and down and Blaine was starting to have trouble keeping in the noises.

Kurt was going faster and faster and Blaine felt as if his crotch was on fire. He was getting dizzy and had to put a hand on the bike he was leaning against.

"Fuck, Kurt -" he wanted to say more, but his brain couldn't wrap itself around getting the words from his mind through his mouth. Instead he settled for just letting his free hand tighten around Kurt's hair.

Kurt let his left hand slide from Blaine's thigh and around to take a firm grip around his ass, while letting his right hand up to grab around his hip. He started sucking so hard that Blaine was certain that he could have suck out every drop of fluid in his body, before Kurt stopped out of nowhere.

"Jesus, Kurt. I was so fucking close -" groaned Blaine as Kurt started to stand up. But Kurt didn't say anything; he just locked his hand around Blaine's still hard cock and kissed him. Then he pushed Blaine softly but with enough force to indicate that he shouldn't leave his spot in front of the bike.

Kurt started opening his own jeans before he grabbed into the pocket of the leather jacket he was still wearing. He started fumbling with whatever it was that he had found and let the packaging fall to the ground before Blaine realized what it was. Kurt rolled down the condom around his dick before he leaned in so close that their lips almost touched.

Blaine could taste the mix of Jack Daniels and blowjob on his own lips as Kurt started talking.

"Now I want you to screw me. Hard. As hard as you can. Up against this bike. Don't worry about getting caught. They're all so wasted that they can't even remember their own names. Just - fuck me, Anderson," demanded Kurt. Blaine had never heard him talk like this before. He couldn't really figure out whether he liked it or not, but he knew that it was goddamn hot and he was so turned on at that very moment.

So Blaine decided to play along. He grabbed fast around Kurt's arms and turned him around forcing him to bend over the bike. He stood for a nanosecond taking in the sight of his boyfriend; almost naked bending over the machine that was almost bigger than he was. He could feel his erection pounding harder and harder and he had a tough time not letting it take over everything. But if he did that it wouldn't be as much fun.

He went over to stand as closely behind Kurt as he could without entering him. There he let a hand run up the lower half of Kurt's exposed back, and up under his t-shirt to his shoulder blades where he let it run down to caress his chest. He felt his way down over his abs where he let it end at his cock. Kurt was just as hard as he felt himself, so he locked his hand around it starting to swipe; faster than ever, before he stopped from one second to another letting his thumb slide casually over the head and moving his hand up to place it on Kurt's hip instead.

Blaine let his other hand grab around one of his butt cheeks to make room for him.

There he slowly started to let his dick slide inside Kurt making him burst out a mouthful of air. Blaine could hear Kurt slam his palms down on the metal under him as Blaine started slowly going back and forth until he was fully inside him.

As soon as he was sure that it was okay he held his hands on Kurt's hips to make him stay in the position. Then he fucked him. Hard. Just as Kurt had wanted him to.

It was way hotter than Blaine had ever thought it would be. He felt sweat breaking out over his entire body, and he wasn't sure whether it was the inside of his palms or if it was Kurt's skin that was the wettest from the sweating.

He started to go faster; striving to make it harder whilst doing so, feeling the urge to get closer to Kurt - to feel him. He felt his blood like lava boiling in his veins, and the cool night wind was like knives against his hot skin. He wanted to reach down and jerk off Kurt while going inside him; to make sure that it was good for him, but he was afraid that he would lose the rhythm of the movements in his hips.

"Yes, Blaine. Don't stop. _Keep going_," heaved Kurt from the front making Blaine's urges run even wilder. He let his arms down to wrap them around Kurt's waist so he could thrust into him harder than ever, forming stars in front of his eyes as he could hear Kurt's weak squealing with every thrust, Blaine un able to stop himself from moaning.

The voices from the party at the other end of the field sounded as if they were coming from under water, and yet Blaine was constantly fearing that one of the big bikers would come and find them. For some reason that made him even more aroused, and it was tingling in his body to keep on going for the rest of the night.

Then he thought "_screw it_" and reached his right hand down again to let it close around Kurt. By his touch Kurt let out a long moaning ending in a "_fuck sweet jesus_"; with Blaine allowing his hand to move up and down in a faster rhythm, faster than he was thrusting his hips, hearing the moans escaping his mouth getting louder. He wanted to bend down to kiss Kurt's back, but he could feel that it was almost time.

Then it happened. It was like every drop of blood in Blaine's body decided to head for his crotch in one second. His skin tightened and felt as if it was going to break - like it was stretched out directly over his bones, and every nerve had switched to be on the surface of his skin as he had to bite down on his lip to avoid a scream coming from his mouth.

His movements slowed down and he was sure that his brain had stopped functioning altogether. He felt like a fountain was escaping his cock and couldn't stop wishing that he could have let it go into Kurt instead of in the condom; but he didn't get to let the thought go any further because he felt Kurt's hand close around his own forcing him to keep swiping his cock faster, making his grip tighter.

Blaine was done. He felt as if he was completely empty inside and yet full. So he kept inside Kurt as he continued to run his hand up and down feeling Kurt's chill run down his spine as his breathing got heavier and his moaning louder before his hand let go to have Blaine finish the job.

It wasn't long until Blaine heard Kurt's tender groan of "_shit yes, Blaine_" and he felt the warm liquid from Kurt's dick running down over his fingers, letting Kurt slowly go limp inside his locked hand. He knew that he had to let go but he couldn't. All of his muscles were flexed and he had forgot how to use them. All he could do was let himself drop down on Kurt's back, letting his flushed cheek lean against Kurt's cold skin that was covered in a thin layer of sweat.

Kurt was almost hyperventilating under him and he knew that he had to stand up and get himself out. He just didn't have the energy.

Kurt let up a hand behind him to let his fingers fumble for Blaine's hair, but as he couldn't find it he let his hand slam back down on the motorcycle they were leaning against. Blaine instantly knew that this was his cue, and he forced himself to stand up and let a hand down to hold the condom while slowly dragging himself out of Kurt, making both of them do a surprised groan.

Kurt turned around to face Blaine, this time his back leaning against the Goldwing before he grabbed a handful of Blaine's t-shirt to drag him into a soft and deep kiss, their half-naked bodies meeting letting electricity run through them.

"That was - wow," whispered Kurt, still heaving for oxygen, against Blaine's cheek. He released his grip around Blaine's shirt and let an index finger run down his torso making Blaine almost jump when he felt Kurt's skin against his own.

Both of them were covered in huge grins and before they knew it they were both laughing hysterically.

"What have we done? Kurt, you are turning crazy talking me into stuff like this," laughed Blaine as they both started to get their pants back on.

"Oh please, like I needed to convince you. You wanted me bad," giggled Kurt after zipping his pants and allowed his arms to find their way around Blaine to place his hands into his back pockets.

Blaine still hadn't buttoned up but he didn't care; he lifted up Kurt and placed him on the leather seat of the motorcycle where he stood between Kurt's legs so he could lean in to kiss him again.

"Hey. We actually got to have sex under the real stars this time," beamed Blaine before biting Kurt's lower lip teasingly.

"Yeah. We did. One thing off the bucket list," said Kurt in a voice that sounded of faked excitement, but before Blaine got to react on it they got interrupted.

"So there's where you've been hiding. I've been looking for you everywhere." Puck had found them and patteded Blaine on the back. He was smelling heavily of a mix of beer and leather and his eyes were swimming. he was smiling widely as he let his arm around Blaine's neck.

"Why are you standing over here? The party's over th -" but then he realized that Blaine's pants wasn't closed and Kurt's knees were muddy. Then he suddenly looked as though a little light had been turned on in his head. He looked from Kurt to Blaine to Blaine's open pants and Kurt's muddy knees, then back to Kurt with a confused expression before he started "_whooing_" loudly.

"Woooow. You are really going all the way. You just shagged on this bad boy? You know what - I don't even wanna hear the details. But good for you. That is pretty hardcore. Biker sex!" Puck sent both of them a high five leaving Blaine to feel his cheeks grow red but Kurt on the other hand returned the high five with a slam and nodded proudly in response.

"And you know what - it was real damn delicious," teased Kurt pretending to dry something from the corners of his mouth, as he tightened his grip around Blaine's curls for a second. Then he hopped down from the bike to lean himself against Puck.

"I'm tired. I think we better get home." Kurt's voice was still a little rasp from his heavy breathing and he suddenly got hit by the alcohol that was still running in his veins. Puck quickly figured out that Kurt needed support to stay at his feet, so he let an arm around his shoulder and muffled his hair.

"Sure, kid. You do look a little wasted. I should probably head home too. Wanna split a cab?" All three of them started to walk back towards the road as Puck called for a cab.

At the side of the road they stood and waited for a good 15 minutes before their taxi showed up. Kurt was starting to shake from the cold because he had hung the leather jacket over the steer at the motorcycle they had just left so Puck put an arm around him to keep him warm while they waited.

"Thank you, Puckerman. For letting us track along. It's been so much fun," smiled Kurt seriously at him through the dark filling the backseat of the car.

Blaine had fallen asleep against Kurt's collarbone and he was snoring silently breaking the silence that had covered them since they left the party.

Puck suddenly seemed serious too and looked as if he was having an inner debate with himself.

"That's cool. It's been great having you along. Much cooler than I would have expected. But, man - I gotta ask you something. What's going on with you? Blaine says you've been acting strange. You're not thinking about dumping him, are you?" asked Puck in a much more concerned tone than Kurt had ever experienced from him. Kurt had to swallow a lump in his throat before he could even think about answering him.

"Puck. I love Blaine. I'm okay," was all he had to say before he turned to look out the window. That was all that was said on the rest of the ride back to Lima.

Puck slept on the couch in the Hummel-Hudson house, and Kurt kept Blaine awake long enough to get him up to his bed.

The entire house was silent, the only sound to be heard was the snoring from Puck on the couch and the wind whipping through the trees outside the window.

Blaine woke up in the middle of the night by Kurt being restless in his sleep. He was kicking and beating and kept shifting sides. Blaine pushed him softly before he realized that Kurt was crying. Then he panicked and tried desperately to wake him up but with no luck.

He settled for lying down and fold his arm around Kurt trying to calm him down by stroking his hair and humming silently in his ear. After a few minutes Kurt slowly got more calm, but tears were still running down his cheeks and his breathing was unsteady.

Blaine was still unbelievably tired, but he didn't dare go back to sleep. What if Kurt woke up and needed him?

"My head. It feels like it's gonna explode," whined Kurt with his face hidden in the pillow. Blaine's arm were still locked around his waist and his nose was dug deep into Kurt's hair.

"Blaine - would you please let go? I think I'm gonna be sick," snapped Kurt as he tried to get Blaine's arm away from him.

Blaine woke up with a shock and quickly dragged his arm away before he fought his way to sit up in the bed. He only sat up for two seconds before he dumped back down in the pillow the slam making his skull feel like it was gonna crack open.

Kurt turned to rest his head on Blaine's chest but immediately regretted and had to move away.

"Please don't touch me right now." He sounded hoarse and his voice was unnaturally deep wincing at the sound.

"What happened last night?" asked Blaine casually with his eyes hidden behind his hands.

"Well - we went to a biker party with Puck, got drunk and had sex against a motorcycle. Pretty good sex, I would like to add," explained Kurt. As he said the last sentence his voice told off that he was smiling by the memory, and he shifted to lie as close to Blaine as possible without it being too much for their hung over bodies.

"Not that. Kurt, I woke up in the middle of the night because you were kicking me and crying. What the hell was that about?" He started to sound pissed and he felt an irrational anger well up inside him. He felt ashamed that he was putting so much into Kurt having a bad dream, but he couldn't help it.

"I don't know. I don't remember anything. I was probably just having a nightmare," Kurt replied in a weak voice, suddenly sounding as if he had been slapped in the face.

He looked hurt by Blaine's attack and Blaine instantly felt guilty. He still thought that something was out of place but he was too tired and felt too sick to follow the fight it might cause.

"Morning. Are you dressed?" asked Puck as he came into Kurt's room looking like he had been hit in the head with a hammer.

"Mother of… I think I got beat up in my sleep or something'," complained Puck rubbing his Mohawk as he pushed over Blaine so he could crawl into the bed next to him.

Puck rested his head on Blaine's shoulder as yawned.

"When does Finn get home from school? We can get him to get us food. And juice. I could really use some juice right now." Puck closed his eyes and snuggled closer to Blaine as Kurt snuggled close to him on the other side. Blaine was lying in the middle of them, not really sure whether or not it was a good idea for them to be so close when they were all hung over.

All three of them spent the rest of the day in Kurt's bed watching bad TV while waiting for Finn to come home from college.

When Finn finally arrived at home he found the house empty, so he went up to Kurt's room finding Puck, Blaine and Kurt spooning and snoring loudly.

Finn dropped his suitcase on the floor before he woke them up by placing a slap on Puck's face.

Finn lay down at the end of the bed as they started explaining him about the party from the night before. Kurt moved down to make Finn wrap his arm around him, as he laughed uncontrollably at the stories about Blaine's reactions, and the highly illustrated explanations of Kurt's adventures with the bikers.

By the end of the story Finn looked around at them and promised to find them some food somewhere.

"Is there anything else you need?" asked Finn with a strangely warm look at Kurt before he stood up.

"No, Finn. I'm okay. Just some food and some juice would be nice. Thank you," responded Kurt. Finn let a hand run gently over his forehead before he stood up and left the room.

"I'm freaking starving, man. How come he couldn't have got home earlier?" Groaned Puck into Blaine's hair. They both looked like they were ready to stay in bed for the rest of their lives, but Kurt had regained his energy from the day before.

""What are we gonna do today?" He sat up bouncing up and down in the mattress before he suddenly turned pale with a tint of green on his face.

"Can we just stay here?" asked he with a weak voice. His eyes started swimming in his head and his lower lip started trembling.

He moved up to lie next to Blaine again where he dragged the covers up good around his ears.

Blaine and Puck looked worried at each other before they looked back to Kurt.

Blaine tried caressing his hair but Kurt just shook his head to indicate that he wanted him to stop.

"No, Blaine. Just leave me alone, please. Is Finn coming back soon?" He sounded sick and they were unsure whether he was really sick or if this was the hangovers taking control again. They made an unspoken agreement to just leave him alone as requested, so they returned to watch TV while waiting for Finn to get back.

When Finn returned he looked worried about Kurt, and the rest of the day they all stayed in bed talking about sports or TV, leaving Kurt to drift in and out of sleep. Every now and then he would shift between to lying in Blaine's arms or to lie almost on the edge of the bed to make sure he would be left alone.

The rest of the weekend continued to be dozy, and as Kurt and Finn's parents got home during Saturday afternoon, they couldn't help themselves laughing at the sight of the four boys sharing Kurt's bed.

When Sunday was about to end Blaine had to go home and Kurt returned to the melancholic mood that had started to swim in over him whenever they were to part. He almost started crying and begged and pleaded Blaine to stay just an hour longer.

It pained Blaine's heart to have to turn him down, just because he needed to get home to finish his homework before school the next day. Kurt shifted from being sad to seeming pissed and Blaine left the Hummel-Hudson house unsure about what had happened.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey Blaine. Wanna go play some ball later?" asked Coby as he snatched the book from Blaine's hands.

Blaine had been in the library all day reading for a History project they had coming up. As Coby placed himself in the sofa next to him.

"Or maybe you're more into motorcycles now?" Coby shot out a barking laugh.

_Kurt had told the guys at school about the weekend's party. They had been in the school yard as Puck had dropped by, and when Kurt had finished his picturesque storytelling, Puck had joined in with his own version of how he had caught Kurt and Blaine in heavy sex in front of the entire party._

_Everyone had roared with laughter and admiration, Blaine on the other hand considered finding a hole to hide in. Kurt had squeezed his thigh under the table and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek before he returned his attention to the amused listeners._

"_Yeah. It was amazing. But it always is with Blaine. That's just how he works -" teased Kurt making Blaine blush and Puck send fist bumps around the table. After that everyone had been making "wroom" sounds after Kurt and Blaine when they were walking down the halls, or winked chuckling at them._

"Geeez, Coby. I gotta finish this before Friday. You aren't even half done with yours," exclaimed Blaine as he snapped his book back.

"Come on, Anderson. Let's go chill out a bit instead of being so uptight all the time. It's only Wednesday. There's lots of time," nagged Coby starting to poke him on the shoulder.

"Alright then. My head feels like it's gonna blow up anyway." Blaine let his hands fall lifeless down in his lap and let his head roll back on the backrest of the sofa.

"Gonna go for some soccer?" asked Blaine, rubbing his eyes with his fists like a little kid.

He and Coby walked down to the football field where they started playing. Blaine felt how much he had needed this - a break from worrying about Kurt.

He had been sick the whole weekend and he was still looking pale during the first two days of the week. Today he hadn't even shown up. Blaine had just received a message saying "_I'm sick today, don't come over_" and that had been all.

Blaine had done his best not to ponder over it during the day; but every time he had got it pushed out of his thoughts something had reminded him of Kurt and he had been back in his train of thoughts. Being in the green with Coby focusing on playing made him relax a bit and he ended up having a really great day.

He and Coby played around for a few hours before they went to Coby's house where they took a few rounds of Tekken and had some pizza.

Coby's mom and sister were always really nice to him and asked how school was, how Kurt was and if everything was going well at home. They were always very welcoming and sometimes Blaine felt it as a second refugee from home when Kurt didn't have time.

He didn't tell them anything about Kurt's changing behavior though. He kept telling himself that he was just being paranoid and overanalyzing - the problem was that he couldn't quite convince himself that that was actually the case, so he was afraid that he wouldn't able to convince others either.

When he got home that night he was tired in a way that he hadn't been in in a long time. It wasn't the tired from being overly active or from having an over working brain. It was the tired of a normal day with school and friends. Something he hadn't done in a long time.

He took a long shower letting his forehead rest against the cold tiles of the wall as he let the hot water rinse down over his body. As he was standing there he imagined that all of his paranoia and worries would be washed away by the heat. Because it wasn't ordinary tap-water, but some sort of magical water with a connection to a higher power that could make ones problems disappear if only they were open to the possibility. Like the Buddhists believed some springs to contain magical water with cleansing powers.

He tried controlling his breathing, feeling it run from his nose through his mouth and lungs and to his stomach, before letting it leave his body through every pore in his skin. He felt drops falling one by one from his wet curls and eyelashes, and after having been in the shower for half an hour he started imagining that he would eventually turn into a sea monster if he stood there long enough, leaving all of his human trades behind.

When he turned off the water and pulled away the shower curtain the cold from the rest of the bathroom hit him in the face; like he had walked into a wall of ice. He hurried to get dried up before he pulled on his boxers and his pajamas. He walked downstairs to say goodnight to his mom before he retreated to his bedroom.

Blaine had left the light in his bedroom turned on while he had been in the shower, for one to make sure his parents didn't discover the painted glow-in-the-dark stars, but mostly for his benefit. He wanted to make sure that once he turned the light out the stars would above were as bright and clear as they could possibly be once he was in his bed.

When he slid down under the covers he looked at his phone and considered calling Kurt but he was afraid that he was just going to get his voice mail. Instead he sent a text message asking if it would be okay for him to call.

"_I'm still sick. But we'll talk tomorrow. I promise._" Read Kurt's responding text. Blaine shrugged it off and wrote back "_I love you. Goodnight_."

For once he didn't let himself think it over too heavily - he had witnessed Kurt being sick over the weekend so he didn't have any second thoughts about it. Instead he just lay down and looked up at the stars over him waiting to fall asleep.

It had been a long time since Blaine had slept so calmly. He didn't even dream, it was all black and relaxing. His sheets smelled nice and clean and he almost felt as if the hot water from his shower really had cleansed away all of his dark thoughts in some magical way.

It was 2:12am. Blaine knew because when he woke up he looked at the clock out of habit. Then he realized why he had been pulled out sleep. His phone was ringing on his night stand. Usually he didn't wake up from the sound of his phone ringing, but he had a feeling that this was a call he had to take.

He frantically fumbled to find the phone in the dark before he pushed the green button and put the phone to his ear.

"Yeah. What's going on?" Said Blaine his voice thick from the sleep. At the other end of the phone all he could hear was sobbing and he instantly sat up. All of his alarm clocks were ringing, and he could feel a sense of danger running through every cell of his body.

"Kurt. Are you okay? What's happening?" He almost didn't recognize his own voice as he heard the words fight each other to get over his lips.

"_Blaine? Please - promise me something_," pleaded Kurt from the other end of the phone. He was crying heavily and he almost couldn't get a sentence out between his sobbing.

"Shhh, baby. Just take your time to breathe, I'm right here. Do you want me to come over?" Asked Blaine not knowing how to tackle the situation. He was already on his way out of the bed and started to find some clothes in his closet.

"_No. Don't come over. Just - please promise me that… if anything ever happens to me, just know that I love you, okay_?" His breathing was loud in the phone and Blaine started imagining all sorts of things that could have happened causing Kurt to make this call to him in the middle of the night. He had no idea how to react and he searched his brain desperately for something to say.

"_I always have, and I always will. No matter what. Please don't ever forget that. But the most important thing is for you to be happy. Please. _Please." His crying had transformed into pleading and there was something in his voice that made a chill run down Blaine's spine. He had no idea what it was, all he knew was that something was terribly wrong and he wanted so badly to hurry to Kurt's house and hold him until he was calmed down.

"Of course, sweety. But nothing will ever happen to you. Of course it won't. I will never let anything happen to you. I promise you," said Blaine hoping to calm him down. He felt so useless when he was sitting there on his bed and he knew that Kurt was devastated, but he refused to let him come over to comfort him.

"Are you sure don't want me to come? It's okay, I'll be fine. I just don't want you to be unhappy. I can't bear listening to you like this. I can't do anything about it from where I am now. Please let me be there for you," begged Blaine hoping to change Kurt's mind, even though something inside him knew that it wasn't going to happen. Kurt was so stubborn and if he had said no it would be no; regardless of what Blaine could ever have to say to him.

"Why would you even say something like that? Did something happen? Did you have a bad dream? Kurt, you know that we're okay right? We're gonna be together forever." Blaine dragged his knees up under him in distress. He started to rock back and forth on the bed listening to Kurt's breathing, almost sure that he could feel his heartbeat through the phone.

"_Don't worry about it. I'm okay. Just go back to sleep. I'm so sorry I woke you up. I love you. Goodnight, Blaine_." And then Kurt hung up- Leaving Blaine in the dark, his fingers ready to pull out his hair, his throat soar from talking so fast.

He suddenly realized that the stinging in his eyes wasn't because he was tired, because his head was all clear now, but because he was crying. Tears were running down his face and he hadn't even noticed it until Kurt's voice had disappeared, leaving him to complete silence. Apparently he had been more scared than he had let himself notice.

He couldn't sleep anymore. He knew that it was a lost cause, so instead he walked down to the kitchen to find some coffee clinging his phone as if it had been glued to his hand. He didn't even dare to put it in the pocket of his pajama pants because he was afraid that Kurt might call back - or even send a text and he wouldn't see it until it was too late.

When Blaine got back to his room the clock said 03.30am and he started considering if he should try and call Burt to have him check up on Kurt. He knew that Finn was away at college so it wouldn't do any good to call him, but he was positive that if he called Burt he was going to run to Kurt's room right away.

After turning the idea over in his head a good dozen times he decided that he'd better leave it and wait to talk it over with Kurt in the morning.

He spent the rest of the night reading the history homework he should have done earlier that day, while he sang along to some tunes on one of his favorite oldies radio stations.

In the morning he waited until he heard his parents leave for work, before he went downstairs to get ready for school. He didn't have the energy to discuss why he was awake already and he certainly didn't have the stomach to face one of his dad's made up "manly" talks at the breakfast table.

Blaine had stopped trying to call and text Kurt three days ago. He had hoped that Kurt was going to contact him himself, but it had been five days now. Five days since the weird late night phone call, five days since Blaine had talked to him last. He hadn't even been at school, and whenever Blaine had called the house phone Burt or Carol claimed that he wasn't there.

Blaine had paced the floors throughout his house, constantly checking his phone every few seconds. He had even tried calling his cell phone from his home phone, just to make sure it was working properly. He had even managed to fall asleep with his cell phone in his hand. Yet, no calls from Kurt.

He decided that if he still hadn't heard anything by the end of the weekend he would drive to Kurt's house and demand an explanation. It wasn't fair. Kurt had been acting so strange for the past few months and Blaine was starting to get sick of putting up with it. There had to be a reason, and he felt that he deserved to know.

Just as he entered his room and threw his bag on the floor his phone started ringing. He rushed to his pocket and started frantically pressing the button. The display told him that it was Kurt and the well-known suction returned to his stomach as he saw the picture of his smiling boyfriend filling the phone.

"Hey babe," was all he could say when he put the receiver to his ear. He hated himself, but it was like all of his frustrations and anger had disappeared. Now he was just anxious to hear Kurt's voice at the other end of the phone - but there was a weird tension and his stomach filled with ice.

"_Blaine. Please let me finish before you say anything. There's nothing you can say to change my mind, so it would just be a waste of time really_." Kurt fell silent and Blaine didn't know whether it was because he wanted him to agree, or if he was expecting some sort of other sign from him.

After around 30 seconds of silence Blaine merely nodded, before he almost immediately after shook his head back and forth at his own silliness, remembering Kurt couldn't actually see him nod. But it was as if Kurt knew that he had been nodding even though he couldn't see him. He took a deep breath before he gathered up the courage to drop the bomb.

"_Blaine, I don't think you should come over tomorrow. At all actually. Ever again. I'll have your stuff packed up and ask my dad to drop it off at your place. We're over, Blaine. Goodbye._"

There was a click followed by a few beeps and then dark silence. Blaine was well aware that the conversation was over and Kurt had hung up on his end of the line, but Blaine was still holding the phone to his ear, paralyzed by the message he'd just received.

He didn't know what to do with himself. He put his phone on the table next to him before he sat down on the bed. Had Kurt really just broken up with him?

Tomorrow? What day was it tomorrow? The 15th. Their anniversary.

As the thought hit him he felt the tears pressing his eyelids but hurried to stop them. If he let them out he had to face that it was true. That it was really over.

He looked around his room that seemed so indifferent to him now. But how could it, when everything was changed? The whole world had fallen apart in a split second, and yet he could hear people and cars on the street, birds chirping and wind in the trees outside his window - wasn't time supposed to stop now? Wasn't the world supposed to enter some sort of time pocket that would make everything turn to dust around him when something like this happened?

But then he remembered that he didn't have a chance to know if that was how it worked, because he had never even let the thought cross his mind. He never considered it, he had been so certain that they were going to be together forever.


	4. Chapter 4

Blaine wasn't really sure how to go on from here. He had ditched school the day after the call. He couldn't take that feeling of knowing he would more than likely be faced with people asking about Kurt and when he'd be returning to school, so instead he had texted Puck to come over and hang out.

Puck had been upset when he heard what had happened. Blaine had broken down as he told him about the phone call. Puck had kicked over the paper basket in rage, crumbled up school notes and sheet music fell over the floor but neither of them cared.

Both sat there on Blaine's bed silently, staring at nothing for a good amount of time, at a loss for words. Blaine still in shock and disbelief, and Puck contemplating his next words.

"This is bullshit, man! He told me that loves you. He said that everything was okay," boomed Puck looking at Blaine with dark eyes.

"When? When did he say that? You talked to him about us?" asked Blaine frantically as he shifted to look at Puck with maniacal eyes.

"Please. Tell me everything he said." Blaine felt a weird sensation running through him, but he didn't dare to believe that it could be hope.

"It was just - when we were in the cab on the ride home from that biker party you fell asleep, so I just thought I'd ask how things were with you two. Then he said that he loved you and he was okay. I didn't think anymore about it." Puck sounded just as desperate as Blaine felt and before he knew it Puck was at his feet pacing up and down the floor.

"We could go to his house, dude. Storm into his room and demand an explanation!" Suggested Puck with big arm movements. If it had been any other day Blaine knew that he would have been cracking up with laughter from the dramatic proposal, but right now he fell down in the bed face forward burying his head into the pillow.

He screamed down into the pillow, so hard that he could feel it in his stomach, fingers and toes. He laid there until the lack of oxygen made his brain cloud over and he decided that he'd better let some air in, even though it felt pointless the way he looked at his life as it had turned out.

"I just gotta - accept and respect his decision. So he doesn't want me anymore. I can't force him to love me," sighed Blaine. He wanted to look at the stars they had painted on the ceiling together, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He already felt as if a big knot had been tied around his heart; and it would only be a matter of time before it got so tight that his heart would burst, then he would fall to his knees, cracking them open from the force, before he fell to the ground; dead.

"But it's screwed up. It shouldn't be like this. You belong together and you know it, Blaine! Out of all the couples in high school Mike and Tina… you and Kurt have been the only ones to stick together. You are like - like whiskey and Jack Daniels. Whiskey ain't right if it haven't got Jack Daniels on the bottle, and you're not right if you haven't got Kurt and the other way around. You guys gave me hope, man!" Argued Puck, as if he thought that it was Blaine's mind that he had to change.

Blaine couldn't help feeling grateful for the way Puck was reacting. It was nice to know that he looked at them like that.

They had always known that Puck was a great supporter of their relationship and they had always relied on his loyalty and on his help if they were ever to need anything, but the reaction Puck had shown towards the recent events in their relationship had made Blaine's affection for him grow further.

Blaine felt so blessed to have been able to ask Puck to come over so he wouldn't have to sit alone with his feelings. He knew that if he had explained the matter to Coby he would have come in a second, but he wouldn't have been able to be there the same way Puck was.

Coby was Blaine's friend, who liked Kurt and had been social with Kurt in school and at parties - Puck was a friend of both of them and he had known Kurt since high school, even longer than Blaine had known Kurt. Blaine had actually expected Kurt to have called Puck already, but when he came over he was genuinely shocked over the news. Did that mean that Kurt was alone? Or worse; _that he didn't care?_

"So - what are you gonna do now, man?" Asked Puck pushing his leg into Blaine's lifeless arm on the bed.

"I don't know," said Blaine as he rose to his elbows. He looked around his room, everything he saw reminding him of Kurt. Of Kurt's presence, of something he and Kurt had done together, of something Kurt once had said - no matter what it was, everything had some sort of connection to Kurt. They had been together for so long that he knew that it had to be inevitable.

"Let's get drunk." Blaine sat fully up in the bed looking at Puck who raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Are you serious? Don't you have school tomorrow? I mean, I can easily work after a night out, but -" Blaine held up a hand to stop him. He was already on his feet starting to put on his jacket.

"I honestly don't care right now. I just need to get Kurt out of my head. I know that I can't no matter how wasted I'll get, but at least getting drunk will make me feel like I'm not just sitting on my butt waiting for him to come back," snapped Blaine while he looked for his wallet.

Puck smiled overbearing before he got off the bed too. Then they drove to the nearest convenient store to buy beer that they brought home to Blaine's room where they started drinking.

They spent the entire night rolling down beer and singing along to the radio. Every time one of them was working their way onto a subject that could have relation to Kurt the other would slap him over the fingers before they would crack up laughing. By the end of the night they both fell asleep with their clothes on not even bothering to get under the covers.

The day after his drinking with Puck looked exactly like the next week; Blaine got out of bed, got ready for school where he would sit to himself in the back of class taking notes and keeping to himself during breaks. After school he would go to the library to do homework and then he would go home, play some piano or PlayStation and then go to bed.

He walked around feeling restless and empty inside. Usually he would spent his time with Kurt doing basically anything, or Coby and the guys hanging out doing homework or playing sports, or with Puck talking about music or football or helping him with girls.

Now he didn't feel like hanging out, and it just felt useless to even get up in the morning. Even his mom was starting to feel that something was wrong, but he was afraid to tell her what had happened. He couldn't stand the thought of his dad saying that he would be better off without Kurt.

At first Coby had offered him to go to his place and hang out. Coby knew that Blaine had a good relationship with his mom, so he thought that it would be good for him to go and talk to her about it, but Blaine politely declined the proposal.

After a few days Coby and the rest of the class stopped trying to get through to him. Some of the girls had offered a shoulder to cry on or just to be someone he could talk to, but he just thanked them, said no and eventually they stopped trying too.

The next week he and Puck spent some time playing ball, but after playing it half the week, neither of them were really up for it so they stopped.

Puck faithfully showed up at Blaine's house every day after work, though. They could spent an entire evening watching TV none of them saying anything at all, but Blaine was grateful that he was there, and he had a feeling that even though he never said anything Puck was there because he knew that Blaine needed it.

Puck started sleeping over almost every night. It was much easier than going home to Lima as the music store he worked at was closer to Blaine's house than his own.

Blaine thought that it was nice to have a friend close, and his parents didn't find it odd at all; because in their mind Puck was the ordinary stereotypical young straight man and Blaine had a theory that his dad was starting to get more and more optimistic that he might be turning straight after all.

Blaine's parents liked Puck, and they didn't mind him staying over. They were nice to him; he discussed sports with Blaine's dad at the dinner table and Blaine's mom would offer to wash his clothes and ask him if he needed anything when she went grocery shopping.

It was great for Blaine to be able to be close with a guy without his parents being on their toes about it all the time. He had really missed being able to have a friend like that and he wished that he could express his gratitude to Puck in some way. He didn't feel so lonely as he was afraid he would after _it _had happened.

The doorbell rang and Blaine got up from the kitchen stool. He was happy that he was home alone, because he didn't know if he could deal with his parents after the situation that was coming. He started walking through the house to the hall so he could answer the front door thinking back on the text he had received out of nowhere earlier that day.

"_Be home at 5. Burt is gonna drop off your stuff_."

The text had come from Finn. Not only did that come across odd because Blaine thought that Kurt could have just as well sent that message himself. It was just a text. But it was very strange because it had been Finn. Blaine knew Finn had a big game at college around 3 that day so he shouldn't even be at home.

Even though he already knew who was going to be on the opposite side of the door when he opened the door it, it didn't take the tension he was feeling away. As he saw Burt Hummel standing on his door step he felt his stomach curl up as the memory of Kurt's words came crashing back into his mind. He wanted to smile politely but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. It felt as if his lips were cemented to a thin line on his face, so instead he just stood there staring at the man looking at him from outside the door.

"Hi Blaine. I know that this is awkward but - can I please come in? There's something I need to tell you, and I'd rather not do it like this. I think you need to sit down to hear this." His expression was more serious than Blaine had ever seen him, and for some reason an uneasy feeling started to fill his body. A feeling that he needed to do this, he needed to listen to what Burt had to tell him; so he stepped aside and beckoned him into his home.

Blaine showed him to the kitchen where he himself sat down but Burt declined his offer of a seat. The entire atmosphere in the room was thick and uncomfortable.

How was he supposed to act towards his ex-boyfriend's dad?

The dad of his ex that was still burning in his chest, the ex that was still making him lie awake at night, the ex that was still keeping him from smiling even in situations where he usually would have roared with laughter. The ex he couldn't bring himself to think of as "_ex_".

"There is really no easy way to say this, so I am just gonna do it. You ain't a stupid boy, so I know that you've realized that something has been going on for a long time now, that something - hasn't been right." He paused as he swallowed for a second and took a few steps closer. Blaine didn't really know what to do about himself, so he just sat there and waited for him to continue. There was some sort of tingling in the back of his mind telling him that he wouldn't like what was to come, but he couldn't stop it. So he just waited.

"Kurt is sick. He has been for some months now. He didn't want to tell you, because he didn't want you to worry about him. We all kept telling him that he had to let you know, but he kept refusing because he said that it was better if you didn't know about it. He wanted to protect you."

Blaine felt Burt staring at him, but he didn't move. He felt as if his stomach was curling up to a knot, and his veins felt like they were freezing up. Sick, what did that mean?

He wanted to ask, but as he opened his mouth no words came out so he closed it again when he realized how long he had been sitting with his mouth ajar.

"He's sick? How? Is it serious?" was all he could get out after a few moments of silence lying as a thick veil over the kitchen. In his own ears his voice sounded as if it was coming from afar, almost as if he were in another room, or like he was on television and the volume was almost completely on mute.

"He's - Kurt's got cancer. That's why he's been missing school, and has had times where he hasn't called you. He's been going through treatments; sometimes they're making him better, but other days he just seem to get worse." Burt's voice sounded as if it was gonna crack, but instead it failed him and disappeared by his last word.

Blaine sat there in his seat looking out across the room, but he couldn't make anything out.

Everything had turned into a puddle of blurry colors blending in together. There wasn't shapes or lines anymore, and everything lost its scent. How was he to respond to that? He felt like his entire body was paralyzed in a movement. He was certain that if there was to come a windblow and brush him off the chair he wouldn't be able to lift his hands to break the fall. He would just fall. Facedown on the tiles of the kitchen floor.

There were so many thoughts crammed into his head, and at the same time it was as if the only thing that was there was a piercing scream tearing his brain up, whilst his body felt empty in a way he had never experienced before.

"What are you saying to me? This can't be true. Are you sure? Are the doctors sure?" Blaine felt some sort of panic attack sneaking up on him, and he wanted to jump to his feet but he wasn't sure that he could count on them to hold his weight. He forced his eyes to find focus but decided to stare into the counter in front of him instead. He couldn't look at Burt right now. Kurt's father. The man who had already lost a wife, and now had a sick son. It was too brutal.

"Blaine. I know that it's a lot to ask but - Kurt loves you. He needs you. He needs you to hold up his head. We don't know how much of a chance he has left, but if he doesn't have you I'm afraid that he's just gonna give up. The only reason he called it off with you was to protect you; but he needs to be protected himself."

Before Blaine knew it Burt was over by his side holding a hand on his shoulder in the fatherly way he always did.

"Would you please drive home with me and try talk some sense into him? Now that you know what's going on it shouldn't be in your way. Of course I understand if it's too much for you, I just - I just thought that you deserved to know what was happening, and give you the opportunity to make your own choice on whether or not you want to be a part of -"

"I'm just gonna grab my keys and we can go," interrupted Blaine as he straightened his shirt and headed for his room where he picked up his coat and keys and hurried downstairs faster than he thought was healthy.

"Dad. What is Blaine doing here? I'm a mess. Besides - it's over, we're not together anymore. You were just supposed to drop off his stuff." Kurt hurried to sit up in the bed and started frantically to fix his hair.

It was very clear that he wanted to seem upset by his dad bringing home his ex-boyfriend, but Blaine felt that in some way he seemed more relieved than mad.

"Now you just listen to him for a moment, okay? He has some things to say, so now I'm gonna leave you two alone." Burt left Blaine standing in the doorway trying not to stare at Kurt. The entire situation felt extremely awkward, and he didn't want to embarrass Kurt. He looked so tired. Blaine had never seen him like this before.

"Can I come sit?" asked Blaine hesitantly while Kurt was still trying to get a hold of his hair. He gave a little twitch as if the question had caught him off guard. When he got control over his head again he just nodded towards the end of the bed and dragged up the covers so that he was almost completely hidden.

"I _know_, Kurt. Your dad told me everything. I don't know what to say about all this. It feels like there's not anything to say, really. But - I just wish you would have told me. I would've stood by you every step of the way. I would've held your hand forever. I love you - it's my job to worry about you." Blaine didn't dare to look at Kurt. He didn't want to put him on the spot.

"Your dad came to me because he's afraid that you're gonna give up. Please don't give up, Kurt. You're stronger than that, you can beat this. I know you, and I know that you're not a quitter. Please fight. With or without me!" Blaine had his eyes locked on Kurt's face. He wanted so badly to make sure that Kurt understood that this wasn't a speech just to get him back. That this was the honest to God truth.

"God Blaine, I missed you so much. I am so sorry. I didn't want to drag you into this mess. It's all so horrible. No one knows about this outside my family, and everything is such a blur to me." Kurt had broken down. He hadn't moved at all, he just stayed in the same spot with tears streaming down his pale cheeks, and his entire frame shaking like a leaf from the sobbing, so Blaine hurried to move up to sit next to him so he could put an arm around the crying boy.

"Shhh, don't worry about it. Just say it and I won't leave you. Then I'll stay right here with you. We're gonna get through this together. I promise." He tried his best to console Kurt, but on the inside he was screaming. He couldn't make that promise, he knew that. He didn't know the first thing about cancer, or even how far into the sickness Kurt was.

All he was thinking about at that moment was how he wanted to have Kurt smile again, so he kissed his hair and held him close until he calmed down.

"Please don't leave me again. This is Hell, but it was so awful to know this and not be able to tell you. God, Blaine I am so so sorry for what I've put you through in the last couple of months. I can't believe you didn't dump me for it. I've been so mean to you." Kurt's face was filled with distress as he looked at Blaine. He was paler than he used to be, almost white, and his eyes had dark rings under them. Even his hair didn't look as shiny as it used to. It looked dry and lifeless.

"Are you serious? Sure, I thought that you were acting like a drama queen every now and then - but I could never break up with you, no matter what." Blaine bent down to kiss Kurt on the nose before he sat up to stare at him, his face suddenly serious but insecure.

"So - does this mean that you'll have me back? We're boyfriends again? No more secrets?" Blaine bit his lower lip and closed his eyes for a brief second. He had to ask. He didn't want to assume anything just to have Kurt ask him to leave and never come back - again.

"Yes. No more secrets. Boyfriends again." The color that Kurt's face had been lacking suddenly showed slightly in his cheeks as he put his head close to Blaine's chest and wrapped his arms around his torso.

"And now I need to go get my dad in here so I can kill him for bringing you here while I look like one of the homeless kids from Annie." Kurt was dead serious but Blaine couldn't stop himself from chuckling.

"You don't look so bad. I've seen you worse." Blaine started to kid around causing Kurt to give him an elbow in the rib. Did his playful punch feel weaker than usual? Now that Blaine looked at him he could clearly see that he had lost a bit weight - or maybe he was just freaking out about the news.

They spent the rest of the day lying wrapped around each other in Kurt's bed. They sang along with the cartoons rolling over the TV and had Carol come up with food and juice for them so they didn't have to leave the bed.

Finn came in and explained that after Kurt had got sick he had tried keeping up with football, but lately he had felt that he needed to come home more or less every weekend and his coach was really understanding about the situation so he let him have a pass every now and then on the games.

"It's just really great that you're back together. Kurt has been a mess. He called me right after he had called you and I hurried home right away. He cried for two days straight. I was starting to fear that my fingers would wrinkle up - you know, like when you're in the shower too long." Finn told Blaine making Kurt blush and hide his face in his hands.

"I've really been screwed up too. I've spent almost all of my time with Puck. He's almost moved into my room. It was nice to have a friend though," explained Blaine as he started stroking Kurt's hair to assure him that he didn't hold anything against him.

"Yeah, about that - I think that maybe we could like… tell Puck about it all, but I don't think we should tell anyone else. Kurt doesn't want people to know, but I'm guessing it would be okay to let Puck know now that you know too," said Finn in a suggestive tone.

"What do you say, honey? Could we let Puck know? I'm sure he would be really grateful to know, and he would support you so much. He was devastated when he heard about - about us, and he's been the best friend ever these last few weeks," said Blaine softly while trying to get Kurt to look at him. He kissed his hair and dragged him closer while waiting for an answer.

"Yeah. Of course. _Puck_. But then no more. It's just - it's just too much. I don't want anyone to pity me," snapped Kurt.

"And if you start mothering me I might have to kill you," he wared with strict eyes locked on Blaine's.

Blaine couldn't stop noticing that Kurt had gone back to looking tired and as much as he wanted to ask him if he needed some sleep or water or fresh air he was afraid to. He'd just promised not to mother him, so he started fearing what he could even say without Kurt feeling as if he was overly concerned.

Finn sent him a look that Blaine thought was understanding - as if Finn knew exactly how he was feeling. He couldn't even begin to imagine how Finn would have been feeling knowing this while seeing Blaine stressed out about how Kurt had been acting. He suddenly felt guilty over the way Puck had attacked him the day they had been watching football at Blaine's place.

He didn't even get to finish that thought before a rush of affection for Finn swam in over him. He had done all of that to protect Kurt's secret, to not break that promise, and to make sure that Kurt felt safe. Finn had done whatever Kurt had asked him to even though he wanted to tell Blaine about it all. An urge to stand up and hug Finn rose inside Blaine but he didn't want to let go of Kurt.

He was unusually cold to hold around, and Blaine couldn't help thinking that he was keeping himself awake to not miss a minute with him and Finn.

When the clock was around 8 Burt went up to the room where he found Blaine, Kurt and Finn swung casually in the bed looking as if they had been placed neatly. He was standing in the door for a minute just observing them before he said anything.

"Kurt. I think you need to think about getting some sleep. We're going to the hospital tomorrow at 9." Burt looked much older than Blaine had ever seen him, and his entire appearance seemed burnt out as he was standing in the semi-darkness fighting to keep up a smile.

"If you want you can stay the night, Blaine. Don't worry about it," said Burt sending him a thanking smile across the room.

Finn turned his head to shoot a grin at Blaine before he stood up to tell them goodnight and leave for his own room.

"Actually, Blaine, if you've got a minute could you come downstairs for a minute?" asked Burt. Blaine agreed and they watched Burt leave the room.

Then Blaine started to get out of the bed but Kurt closed his hand strongly around his arm.

"Are you coming back? Do you wanna go home and sleep? Will you tell me if you leave?" He let the questions out so fast that Blaine doubted he had time to breathe between them and when he turned his head to look at Kurt he felt as if someone had thrown his heart on the floor.

Kurt's eyes were wide and seemed scared. The darkness made the rings under his eyes seem much more clearer and his lips were dry and discolored. The grip he had around Blaine's arm almost closed for blood running to his hand and his teeth were clasped together.

"I'll call my mom and tell her I'll stay here. Don't worry. I'll come back." Blaine kissed Kurt softly on the forehead before gesturing for Kurt to release his arm.

He reluctantly let his fingers loose one by one before he dragged his hand to him under the covers. He looked so small and fragile as he was sitting there and Blaine hated that he had to go - even if it was just for a moment.

Nonetheless he did leave Kurt's room to walk downstairs. He didn't find Burt in the living room so he went to the kitchen where he found him sitting with Carol.

Carol gestured for him to sit down in the chair across the table, and the scenario reminded Blaine of an intervention. He looked at both of them, not really knowing what to expect from this. In reality he just wanted to hurry back to Kurt so he didn't have to sit in his room alone.

"Listen, Blaine. We know that this is a lot to take in. We were really shocked when we got the news ourselves and for such a young man as you to get this message about your boyfriend; that must be horrible. We've both lost our spouses and the last thing we want is to see you in the same depression that we got hit by." Carol reached out a hand to hold around Blaine's on the table between them.

"We know how much you and Kurt care about each other, and we are so happy that you took it so well. We wanna see you guys stay together. It was so rough to see Kurt after he had broken it off with you, and we can't even imagine how you must have felt." She smiled at him and squeezed his hand before she had to wipe a tear from the corner of her eyes.

"What we're trying to say here, son, is that; we don't want you to feel pressured into anything. We know that this must be a big slap in the face for you, and if you don't think you can deal with it then we -" Burt trailed off as Blaine held up his hand to stop him.

"I am sure. I am not gonna leave Kurt's side. Ever. He would have done the same for me. He means everything to me, and I wanna support him. If I could I would carry him through it all, don't worry about me," assured Blaine hoping that none of them would say the word out loud. Mention what the subject of their collective concern actually was.

"Thank you. We can't thank you enough. It's been a long time since Kurt has looked so energetic, not to mention him smiling. Finn has been a great support to him, but we all knew that he was needing you. He knew that too, but he didn't say it. No one mentioned your name at all because we were afraid that he was gonna crack completely." Burt looked away to avoid eye contact.

"The second you stepped back into the house tonight it was like a cloud of darkness lifted from our home. It was a relief. We just wanted to - to let you know that if you ever need anything just let us know," said Carol squeezing his hand one last time before she got up from her chair.

"Kurt needs to sleep now. He's going to the hospital for some tests tomorrow. Are you staying the night, honey?" she asked smiling at Blaine. She was clearly trying to lift her mood a bit but Blaine made a quick decision in his mind.

He got up from his chair too and walked around the table to embrace Carol.

"Thank you, Carol. Thank you so much both of you. Kurt is lucky to have you," said Blaine before he let go of her. He and Burt nodded at each other before he left the kitchen to go back upstairs to Kurt.

Kurt was asleep so Blaine almost didn't dare to get back into the bed, so he spent a good long time in the bathroom brushing his teeth and changing to his pajamas before he finally took the leap and crawled in to lie next to Kurt.

"You came back? You were gone for so long," whimpered Kurt through the darkness with his voice trembling.

"Shhh, I'm right here, just go back to sleep," said Blaine as he wrapped his arms around Kurt to drag him closer. He was even colder now and Blaine considered trying to find some blankets but he didn't want to worry Kurt by leaving him again.

"Baby, are you cold? You feel cold. I could get some blankets," suggested Blaine quietly afraid that Kurt had already gone back to sleep.

"Just a little bit." He sounded as if he was right on the spot between being awake and asleep and Blaine almost regretted that he had said anything, but he was quickly out of bed and hurried to Finn's room to get some blankets.

Finn was lying on his bed playing videogames as Blaine entered his room.

"Hey, uhm - could I get some blankets? Kurt is really cold and I don't want him to get sick." He felt a pit in his stomach as he said the last sentence and had to swallow when he put it together in his head. Finn didn't seem to put more into the words and was off the bed in a quick movement finding a pile of blankets in the cabinet above his closet.

"I'm really glad you're back, man. Kurt was crushed without you, I've never seen him like that," said Finn as he handed Blaine the blankets.

Blaine didn't really know what to say. He couldn't stand hearing about how Kurt had been when they were apart, it was too painful. Instead he just smiled gratefully at Finn and hoped that he would pick up on it.

"By the way, will you ask Puck to come over tomorrow? I think we'd better tell him as soon as possible," said Finn awkwardly as he scratched his neck in a fashion that showed how weird he was about the situation.

"Yeah. I'll do that. I - they keep saying that Kurt is going to the hospital tomorrow. Is it very bad? Is he gonna hurt?" asked Blaine hesitantly letting a pained expression cross his face. He had heard enough about Kurt's pain for a lifetime, but he had to know. He didn't know if Kurt would want him to go with him to the hospital, and he wasn't sure that he was going to tell him about it if he asked. So he thought that he would ask Finn because he very likely would know the details.

"Naah, it's not so bad. They're just gonna run some tests. Take some blood and stuff. Ask him how he's been since the last time he was in for a check. It's not much really," Finn tried to calm him down.

"Thanks. I'm gonna go back. I don't think he was feeling well, so I don't wanna stay away too long. But, Finn, thank you. Really. You're such a good brother to him." Blaine fist bumped Finn before he left his room to get back to Kurt.

Blaine hurried to wrap a few blankets around Kurt, but was worried that if he put too many over him it would be too heavy. He slid back under the covers hoping that Kurt was sleeping again.

He didn't really find out if he was but the second Blaine's arm was around his waist Kurt turned to fold his arm around Blaine's torso and place his head at his shoulder.

Blaine didn't sleep much that night; all he could do was worry if Kurt was too hot or too cold, or if he was sleeping too uncomfortable.

All of his past concerns had disappeared but been replaced by twice as many new ones. There was so many unanswered questions, so many things that he didn't dare to even think about.

He shook his head as if it would let the thoughts fall into place but they didn't. Instead he just let his hand caress up and down Kurt's shoulder, while burying his nose in his hair. It smelled as lovely as always, and yet it was like it didn't. Or maybe that was just something he was imagining.


	5. Chapter 5

At first Kurt didn't want Blaine to go with him to the hospital, but after his dad talked to him abort why it would be good for Blaine if to go; if he fully wanted to comprehend Kurt's illness, then he needed to go, he eventually gave in seeing his dad's point.

Blaine sat in a chair next to him in the hospital squeezing his hand as the doctor took all of his tests, and Blaine covered Kurt's eyes when the needles came out, even handing him a juice box when his tests were done.

As soon as they got home from the hospital Blaine called Puck.

The second Blaine told him that he wanted him to come to Kurt's house Puck blew up at the other end of the phone. Blaine could almost hear Puck doing a victory dance wherever he was, and Blaine decided that he'd better just wait until Puck was done singing.

"Relax. Just come over, would you? It's pretty serious. Don't crack open the champagne yet. You might regret it when you know what this is about," chuckled Blaine hollowly, instantly feeling bad that he had laughed when he was actually calling to give him this horrible message.

Puck got over there half an hour later, where he practically danced through the door throwing high fives to everyone he met. A broad grin was covering his face which made the contrast even more spoken when he stepped into the living room where Kurt was on the couch wrapped in blankets leaning against Blaine.

"Guys! Why the sad faces? You're back together, right? I think it calls for a celebration." Puck started swaying his hips as he crossed the floor to fall down in the armchair at the end of the table where he swung one leg over the armrest.

"Noah, there's something really serious we need to tell you," began Kurt.

As Blaine heard how his voice was threatening to crack he decided to let a hand down and let his fingers lock in Kurt's to show his support. Kurt immediately squeezed back and took a mouthful of air before exhaling heavily.

"Noah. I'm sick. Really sick," said Kurt, his voice weak and trembling. Blaine was staring into the floor. He was trying his best to tune out the words - he couldn't stand the thought of hearing it again.

Puck was gazing confused at Kurt, his mouth hanging open and his eyes were blank.

"What? Like a cold or something?" he asked, clearly already knowing that it was a ridiculous question. His eyes flickered between Blaine and Kurt as if he was about to blow up from anticipation.

"Puck. I have cancer. But - please don't freak out. Could we just agree that it's nothing to act ridiculous over?" Kurt was starting to sound angry. Blaine knew that he just wanted it over with so they could proceed to hanging out and not talking about him.

"What? Are you shitting with me, Hummel?" Puck blinked a few times before he shook his head in disbelief.

"Are you serious, dude?" He abruptly changed to sound very innocent. He got to his feet and ran over to kneel on the floor next to Kurt.

"I am so sorry, man. How long have you known? Why didn't you say anything?" He trailed off in his chain of questions when he saw the look on Kurt's face.

"I don't wanna talk about it, okay? I just want to pretend that it's not there," Kurt snapped at him, but hurried to run his fingers through his Mohawk with a smile.

"I'm sorry. I know you're just worried, and I understand that you're shocked, but I just really don't feel like talking about it, it's so depressing," Kurt apologized to him making the corners of Puck's mouth go a little up again.

"But - does that mean that it's the reason you've been acting like that lately? Like being bitchy without reason and doing all kinds of crazy stuff that you usually wouldn't do? I mean - it's been really cool and all, but it's been pretty confusing to deal with you, man," proclaimed Puck not really looking at Kurt as he said it.

A smirk spread across Kurt's face and Blaine wasn't sure if it was the good or the bad kind.

"Yes, Puckerman. That is the reason I have been a bitch." Kurt stuck his tongue out at Puck who exhaled in a way that made Blaine think he had been holding his breath until he got a reaction.

"All things aside; I am so happy that you're back together. It just wasn't right for you to _not_ be together, you know what I mean? I can just feel in my body that you are meant to be." He made a grimace to illustrate exactly what he was talking about, but all it did was make Blaine and Kurt giggle at him.

"Now can we please talk about something else?" Kurt started waving his hands desperately around his head as if to make the problem disappear in a cloud of smoke.

Puck laughed a bit awkwardly at him clearly not really knowing how to handle it; instead of reacting he got up to sit on the couch next to Kurt so they could all spend the rest of the day together.

Puck kept on coming over every day after work. He was just as worried about Kurt as everyone else was, but he was the only one Kurt didn't snap at whenever he started getting overly concerned.

After he and Blaine got back together Kurt started getting better. He wasn't as pale as before and the dark rings under his eyes disappeared. His hair got back to it's usual shiny self and his energy level got progressively better day by day.

Blaine made sure that he followed all the rules the doctors made for him on what to eat and what not to. He also saw to Kurt getting fresh air and the right amount of sleep.

Kurt rolled his eyes at him, but Blaine didn't doubt for a second that he enjoyed Blaine taking care of him.

After a week in bed the doctors thought it okay for him to go back to school which put Blaine at the edge of his seat, while Kurt waved him off telling him to chill out.

Once Kurt was back in school they threw away every precaution they had ever had about being seen together publicly. They would spend every break together with their fingers intertwined, embracing each other or taking turns sitting on each other's lap while hanging out with their friends.

When Kurt was having a bad day they would usually keep to themselves, but when he was having a good day Kurt would be all over the place. He would tell high school stories, or do an impromptu performance of any Broadway number that he would be in the mood for. People would gather around him to cheer and clap while Blaine would stand in a corner smiling proudly at him.

One day Blaine was walking down the hall during social studies on his way from class to the library when Kurt suddenly dragged him into the men's room where he pushed him into a stall.

"Let's fuck!" Kurt whispered with big excited eyes before he started kissing up and down Blaine's neck.

"We can't do that here. It's school," objected Blaine, but it didn't stop Kurt. He pushed him up against the wall and started unzipping Blaine's pants.

Before Blaine knew it Kurt had put his hand down his boxers and started rubbing up and down while he pressed his torso up against Blaine's.

Blaine felt every hair on his body stand up as he listened to Kurt's heavy breathing in his ear while feeling the movement of his hand send electric waves through his nervous system.

Then he gave in and let his lips attack Kurt's violently putting his hands to Kurt's face while sliding his tongue in his mouth to let it play with Kurt's while their lips were heavily massaging each other.

He felt himself getting harder the more Kurt let his hand move up and down inside his pants. Blaine thanked god that Kurt was wearing baggy pants with elastic waistband today.

He let his own hand down Kurt's underwear feeling him sigh against his neck as Blaine's hand closed. He started working his hand around Kurt while kissing him on the neck.

"Kurt. We can't - do this. Ugh - what if someone comes in?" Blaine had to fight to get his words out without moaning and groaning too loudly. He was desperately trying to let his brain stay clear but he couldn't even keep his eyes open anymore.

"Well then you just - shit - have to be quiet, won't you?" teased Kurt in a high pitched voice. They both smiled against each other's skin as Blaine almost had to tip toe to make it easier for Kurt to get it right.

In a second Blaine felt a rush go through him. He got out his hand to take a few steps forward forcing Kurt to slam his back against the wall. He reached down and grabbed around both of Kurt's wrist and slammed both of his hand against the wall too. As he held back Kurt's arms he pressed his body against Kurt's feeling their hard dicks against each other.

Blaine leaned in as if to kiss him, but stopped right before their lips met and chuckled at the way Kurt desperately stretched out his neck to reach for Blaine without any luck.

"Fuck you, Blaine. Don't leave me hanging like this -" gasped Kurt trying to rub his waist against Blaine's.

"Well fuck _you_ then," replied Blaine and got back at him by biting hard down in Kurt's lower lip before he let their hands slide down the wall so Blaine could kneel down in front of him.

He started letting the tip of his tongue carefully slide up and down making Kurt sigh and gasp which only led Blaine to feel like teasing him even more, when he remembered that they actually were in school and could risk someone walking in on them any second.

"Do it, Blaine - take it in, please," begged Kurt through gasps when Blaine let his entire tongue work it's way around the shaft of his dick.

It didn't take long until Blaine had let his lips take in Kurt's cock, feeling the veins almost pounding against his lips and tongue.

He raised his chin to make Kurt's head rub against the roof of his mouth causing Kurt to desperately try and get his hands free - but Blaine just tightened his grip around his wrists so he couldn't move. Instead he started grinding his hips back and forth feeling himself hit against the back of Blaine's mouth both of them having trouble to stay calm.

A slam sounded and they both knew what had happened. Blaine hurried to stand up and started closing his jeans while Kurt let the back of his head fall back in the corner of the stall.

Blaine walked close to Kurt keeping his hands on Kurt's hips as he started kissing him lightly both of them struggling to avoid bursting out in a giggle while they listened to a couple of guys mumbling together in the bathroom behind the door.

As soon as the guys had left the bathroom they couldn't keep it in anymore and cracked up. They laughed so hard that their stomachs started hurting and Kurt had trouble standing up.

When they both got back to their senses they kissed each other deeply and left the stall hand in hand, both extremely red in the face but couldn't stop themselves grinning widely as walking down the halls of the school to get back to their classes.

The rest of the day they kept to themselves in a corner of the library under the excuse that they had to study when in reality they were busy making out behind the bookcases.

Blaine knew that he had to go home to his parents once they left school so he did what he could to drag out their time in the library. He couldn't stop a thought in the back of his head that if he left Kurt to go home by himself he might get sick again and he couldn't have that happening.

He still hadn't told his parents about Kurt being sick. He couldn't predict their reaction and he was afraid that it was going to cause an uproar in the Anderson house. And he had to admit to himself that he had the feeling that if he didn't say it out loud, then maybe it wouldn't be necessary and Kurt would get better soon, and then it would disappear and it would all have been as if he had never been sick.

"I have to go home for a bit. I haven't been home in days," said Blaine apologetic when they started to pack up their notes and books that had been spread out across the table.

Kurt's mouth dropped from a smile to a frown. Blaine could see it in his eyes; that he didn't like the idea.

"Can't you wait until tomorrow? Then I can go with you," he asked avoiding Blaine's look. They knew each other so well. Well enough to be able to see through the other's act when there was something they were trying to hide.

"I'm sorry. I can't. I promised my mom to come home. She - she doesn't know about you, and she'll start to worry if I spend every night at your place. I'm sorry, we'll see each other at school and then we can hang with Puck and Finn over the weekend, alright?" Blaine truly was sorry. There was nothing more he wished for than to be with Kurt all the time. He was afraid to miss just a few seconds of time with him, but he also knew that he owed it to his mom to be home.

They drove to Kurt's house together after school so Blaine could pick up his stuff and take his own car to his parents' house.

Kurt had let himself drop to the bed curling up around a pillow not even looking at Blaine.

"I'll have to go now. But I'll see you tomorrow, right? Please be safe," said Blaine softly and bend down to kiss Kurt on the hair before he picked up his bag and started going towards the door. Only the second his hand closed around the door handle he was stopped.

"You promised you wouldn't leave me. You _promised_," cried Kurt. It was hard for Blaine to determine if he was sad or angry. Very possibly a mix. Maybe Kurt didn't even know himself. Nonetheless Blaine took a deep breath and turned on his heel to face him. He was still lying on the bed clutching Blaine's pillow with his nose dug into it.

"Kurt, that's not fair. You know that I have to do this. I can't just stay away from home all the time." Blaine didn't know what to say. It really wasn't fair. Kurt knew that he would make Blaine feel guilty by playing the promise-card. Didn't Kurt understand that Blaine was already feeling guilty that he had to leave? Even if it was something he had to do.

"But you promised. And now you're just leaving me!" screamed Kurt. He had sat up in the bed his face wet with tears dripping down on the pillowcase. His eyes were red and he was back to being unnaturally pale. Blaine felt a knot in his throat by the sight of him looking like that.

"You're being unreasonable now. You know that I'm coming back. Or maybe I could stay with you until tonight and just go home to sleep," proposed Blaine, taking a few small steps closer to the bed where Kurt was starting to shiver.

Blaine wished so desperately that he could just cross the floor and put his arms around his boyfriend to calm him down, but he knew that if he tried he would get even more hysterical.

"No. Screw you, Blaine. Just get the fuck out," whined Kurt and threw the pillow in his face before he turned his back on Blaine and laid back down sobbing into the bedspread.

"Fine. If you wanna be a drama queen that's your choice. I'm going now. See you later," said Blaine exhausted and left the room, painfully knowing that Kurt would spend the rest of the day crying until he had cried himself to sleep that night.

Blaine stood in the hall outside Kurt's room for a few minutes listening to him cry on the other side of the door. He was fighting himself to not go back in there and cry with him. But if he did that he would never get back to his parents and he wouldn't be able to spend the weekend with Kurt, which he knew would hurt both of them even more.

Blaine walked down the stairs to the living room where he found Burt and Carol on the couch watching TV so he went over to say goodbye, letting them know that he had to leave for a few days.

"Hey honey. Are you going home?" asked Carol when they noticed him. Blaine wanted to answer, but instead he just settled for nodding at her. He wasn't sure if his voice would betray him if he opened his mouth.

"Sweety, come over and sit down for a minute," said Carol and beckoned for him to sit in the chair next to her. Blaine didn't know what else to do, so he left his bag on the floor next to the stairs and walked over to sit down as he was told.

"Listen, it's not Kurt talking when he acts like this. It's the disease taking over his body. All of the chemicals the doctors are filling him with are making him unstable, and whenever he gets a fit like this it's mostly just because he's scared. I know that it's very often you that has the bulls eye on your back and have to take all of his hits; but it's because he's afraid that you're gonna give up. He loves you so much and he's so afraid that one day you'll get out of that door and not come back. Because you won't be able to take it anymore."

Carol let up a hand to cup Blaine's cheek. He smiled gratefully at her and nodded. He knew that she was right, and he kept telling himself the same thing.

"Sometimes it's just so exhausting to stay strong. I wanna be there for him; and support him and show him that no matter how much he breaks down he can count on me - but in reality I just wanna break down too. I just cant' do it in front of him."

He couldn't look at them. He had never been able to talk to his own parents like this, and he was still trying to get used to how openly Burt and Carol were treating him. They had more than several times made it clear that he could come to them with anything he needed to get off his chest - even before Kurt got sick.

"I know, honey. But you are doing such a good job. You've been standing so strong and I'm sure he understands even if he's not showing it. Just go home and get your head cleared for a few days and we'll keep him occupied. You need some space."

"Hey baby. You're home. It's been a while since we've seen you." Blaine's mom was in the kitchen when he got home. He felt a bit awkward and dumped down in a kitchen chair without saying anything, just smiling at her in hello.

She came over and put a cup of coffee in front of him and sat down in the other chair. She just sat there staring at him for a few minutes.

"Your dad's not home. He's gonna be out of town for some work the next few days so I was hoping you'd come home." She took a sip of her own mug before she started looking concerned.

"Blaine. Are you okay? We never see you anymore, and when you're home you keep to your room and never talk to us. We don't even see you hang with Noah and Finn anymore and you look so tired and troubled all the time. What's going on? Is it something with that boy - Kurt?"

And that was it. That was enough. Blaine broke down and hid his face in his hands hearing his mom gasp in surprise. He heard her chair scratch over the kitchen floor and felt her fingers run through his hair.

"My god, Blaine. What's happening? Talk to me, baby," implored his mom in desperation.

He took a deep breath before he looked up. He didn't even bother to wipe the tears of his cheeks because he knew that they weren't going to stop anytime soon. His lower lip was shivering and his eyes were stinging from the salt water.

"It's Kurt, mom. He's sick. Really sick. I don't know what's gonna happen, but he just keeps getting worse all the time. Sometimes I think he's getting better and everyone is optimistic, but then he changes all around and gets worse." He felt pathetic sitting whining to his mommy like this, but he felt so relieved to be able to say it out loud to someone outside.

"But, Blaine - why haven't you told me? What's wrong with him? How long has this been going on? It's not AIDS is it?" She took his hand and squeezed it hard before getting up to find a box of Kleenex to put on the table between them. He looked at the cardboard box, but didn't take any of the paper towels. It felt pointless to do so.

"No, mom, it's not AIDS. Jesus. Neither of us have had any boyfriends before we met each other. He's got -" He had to pause to gather up the courage to let the word over his lips. He hadn't said it out loud since Burt had been in the kitchen and told him about Kurt's condition.

"He's got cancer. He's known for some good few months now. His dad told me around a month ago. It's just so freaking hard. Sometimes he looks so amazing and jumps around and seems even better than I feel, and other days I've got to stop myself before thinking that it's over." He threw his hands in the air as if he hoped for something magical to happen by it.

But nothing did happen. His mom just sat staring at her devastated son, not knowing what to do or say. The entire atmosphere in the kitchen had changed abruptly.

Blaine was sure that all of the oxygen had been sucked out the room and there had been created a vacuum separating them from the real world.

Then his mom did something she hadn't done since he was a little boy; she got up from her chair and forced him to get up too so she could fold her arms around him.

She let her hands caress up and down his back, stroking his hair making consoling sounds just letting him dry out without pressuring him to talk or stop crying.

It had been a very long time since Blaine had been so happy about opening up to his mom.

After they had been standing in the kitchen for a bit of time Blaine felt his eyes itching. He was certain that he had cried out every drop of water in his body and he suddenly felt drained of all energy.

His mom cupped his face in her hands and put on a brave smile for him when she felt that he had stopped sobbing into her sweater.

"Listen, what do you think about asking Kurt over tomorrow? If he's feeling well enough? Your dad won't be home until Friday night, so you don't have to hide in your room all day. I promise I'll be nice." She sounded a bit reluctant in her suggestion, as if she wasn't sure if she was entitled to make such a proposition.

_Kurt had only met Blaine's parents once._

_Kurt had been nicely dressed, not too extreme, and he had acted politely addressing them as Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, but Blaine's dad had still refused to shake his hand. His mom had kept in the background smiling at Kurt, but not reaching out her hand either. Blaine had been convinced that she wanted to say hi to Kurt but didn't have the guts to do it in front of his father - and here was the proof._

"That sounds great, mom. Thank you." Blaine smiled at his mom through the dried tears and nodded at her in gratitude.

She leaned in to kiss him on the forehead before giving him one more hug and then tried to distance the news by asking about laundry and school - anything that didn't relate to Kurt being sick.

Blaine appreciated that she kept off the subject for the rest of the night. He almost forgot about it as they played piano and sang together, or when they watched TV.

They talked about how Finn was doing away at college and she asked if Puck still maintained his work, he told her about some designs Kurt had been working on and was considering sending to some big clothing brands. He was surprised how much interest she seemed to genuinely hold in his life. They never got to talk this freely when his dad was around.

By the end of the night Blaine had fallen asleep on the couch and his mom had to wake him up to get him to bed as if he had been 8 years old again. It was nice to get back to being a child for a bit - even if it was only for a few hours.

The next day in school Kurt acted as if nothing had happened the day before, and Blaine decided that it was probably for the best for him to act that way too. He didn't want to mess anything up as Kurt seemed to be in a really good mood.

"Can I talk to you for second?" asked Blaine as they met in front of the biology room during fourth period. Kurt seemed confused by Blaine's expression and looked around as if to see if someone was overhearing them.

"What's going on, Blaine?" said Kurt. His eyes flickered from Blaine's eyes to his mouth like he expected his lips to open and reveal some horrible monster. His blue eyes shifted and started looking more gray with a tint of green.

"Yesterday when I got home I - I told my mom, okay. I broke down and told her everything. I am so sorry, I know I promised that it was only gonna be Puck, but I just had to get it out." He stopped himself to wait for Kurt to explode and make a scene in the middle of the hall. He almost squinted to avoid any flames hitting him in the eye when it happened.

But it never did. Kurt just stood there looking at him as if he hadn't heard what he had said at all.

"Well, then - then my mom suggested that you could come home with me after school today. My dad's out of town so she said that we don't have to hide away in my room. I think she really wants to get to know you, we talked about you all day yesterday," continued Blaine choosing his words carefully.

"That sounds lovely. I just need to get home first," answered Kurt, his eyes switching back to blue, sending Blaine a teasing smile.

Then he walked past Blaine and proceeded his way down the hall to the other end of the school. Blaine turned to watch him slowly disappearing, grinning to himself about how much he enjoyed watching his hips sway as he walked, and the way his ass looked in those jeans. In any jeans. Or without anything at all.


	6. Chapter 6

Kurt made a noise like a cat getting its tail run over before he angrily pulled off the untied bow tie after messing it up for the third time.

"Let me handle it," said Blaine jumping off Kurt's bed to grab the colored fabric off the floor.

"There's nothing to be nervous about," said Blaine in a soothing voice while he put the bow tie around Kurt's neck and started tying it up.

"But - what if she doesn't like me?" Kurt turned his face down to focus on his fingers fumbling with the line of his shirt before he looked back up on Blaine from under his eyelashes.

"She's not gonna like you, honey. She's gonna love you. I am sure of it," Blaine assured him as he fixed Kurt's collar and tiptoed a little to kiss his nose.

Kurt blushed and a crooked smile spread carefully over his face.

"But - can we please agree not to discuss anything, you know, depressing tonight?" asked Kurt hesitantly with his back at Blaine while he started to put on his jacket. Even though he had already got the jacket on he didn't turn around. He was waiting for Blaine to answer him.

"Of course. There's nothing to say, and there's no reason to drag up in that tonight. I promise." Blaine had walked up behind Kurt holding his hands on his arms kissing his neck. He didn't have to see Kurt's face to know that he was smiling gratefully, so he reached down and let his hand slide into Kurt's and led him downstairs to the car.

Kurt seemed very tiny and fragile as he stepped into the hall of the Anderson house. He had never felt comfortable there, only in Blaine's room.

Whenever he had been there they had always just went straight to Blaine's room upstairs so it was very strange for him to not to flight down the hall and up the stairs at the other end of the house.

"It's okay, just come," assured Blaine him squeezing his hand and leading him to the kitchen

Blaine's mom was standing with her back to them as they entered the room.

"Mom. This is Kurt. My - boyfriend," said Blaine in a weirdly hoarse voice that made him clear his throat. In an instant he felt just as nervous as Kurt had acted back at his own room.

They waited in anticipation not looking at each other, but not looking at her either, until she turned around and walked over to them.

She beamed at them as she came over and hugged Blaine before she turned to Kurt.

"And you, my boy, it is so nice to finally meet you properly." She surprised both Kurt and Blaine by pulling him into a warm embrace before holding him out as if to get a better look at him. Then she looked to Blaine.

"Nicely scored, son. Nicely scored." She winked at them before she gestured for them to sit down at the table.

Kurt was grinning, but Blaine was looking shy down in the floor before they followed her over to sit down.

"You guys want anything?" asked Mrs. Anderson. She looked from one to another with an expression of not really knowing how to act herself.

Blaine didn't answer. He just looked down in the table without any idea of how to tackle the situation.

He had never in his life considered the possibility of taking a boyfriend to his parents' home and sit in their kitchen as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

He hadn't even wished to be able to do it until he met Kurt. When Kurt came into his life it was as if everything changed, and he began to wish endless times over and over again that he could introduce his boyfriend to his parents and they would be accepting and nice to him - even before he and Kurt started dating, when he hadn't been able to stop himself from thinking about Kurt like that, even though he kept telling himself that he couldn't screw up their friendship by falling in love with him.

But as many times as he had wished it, he had never thought that it would actually happen some day - and now that it was happening it felt too incredible.

When they were at Kurt's house it felt so normal. As if Blaine had been a part of the family forever; but this was a completely different feeling.

Blaine appreciated how much his mom tried not to be overly trying, and yet she did what she could to make Kurt feel welcome and accepted in her home. He was certain that she had been nervous too, and he was even more certain that it was his dad's strong opinion about his sexuality that had colored her nerves about meeting her son's boyfriend.

"Just a glass of water, thank you" Kurt replied politely, hiding his hands under the table as he watched Mrs. Anderson trip through the kitchen and place a glass in front of him.

Blaine had a feeling that Kurt was hiding his hands because they were shaking and he desperately wanted to grab Blaine's for comfort, so he reached out his own to grab his fingers confirming his own theory and feeling Kurt loose his nerves a little.

"I was thinking that maybe we could order in some food and watch a musical? Blaine told me how much you love Broadway, so do I. I thought that would be the appropriate way to go." Mrs. Anderson smiled warmly across the table with her eyes shining when she saw Kurt's face light up.

Blaine grinned at them. He imagined a huge curtain being dragged away from the kitchen, and revealing that underneath the black and white shades they had been covered in a second before, there were a well of colors in all kinds of beautiful shades.

"I would love that. That sounds amazing, Mrs. Anderson!" Beamed Kurt, smiling more than Blaine had seen him do all day.

"Enough with the 'Mrs. Anderson' - call me, Susan, dear." She returned his smile instantly and got up to find some take-out menus, leaving Blaine and Kurt to themselves in the kitchen.

Neither of them said a word. Just gazed at each other in a way that made both of them blush.

As Susan returned to the kitchen they ordered their food and agreed to watch Phantom Of The Opera. Blaine wanted to watch Sound Of Music, but it was two against one so he caved in. It was clearly a lost vote after all.

They spent the evening eating and discussing Broadway plays. Blaine was thrilled by the way Kurt and his mom got along, and he started to think that maybe it could end up feeling like Kurt had been a part of their family forever. If it wasn't for his dad at least; but he didn't care about him right now. All that mattered was that his mom and his boyfriend loved each other.

Kurt fell asleep resting his head against Blaine's shoulder halfway in the movie. Blaine knew that it was all the medication that made him lose energy from one moment to another, so he explained the deal to his mom who was extremely understanding.

"Thank you. For everything. Mom, really. You've been so sweet to him, and he really enjoyed himself tonight." Blaine kissed his mom's cheek before he started to wake up Kurt carefully so he could get him up to bed.

"You take such good care of him, Blaine. I am really proud of you, and he's such a good boy," smiled his mom heartedly in respond before she got up to clean the table so she could go to bed too.

Blaine got Kurt awake just enough for him to be able to climb the stairs with some support. He helped him get out of his clothes and made sure that he got to bed comfortably before Blaine started to get ready for bed himself. When he slipped under the covers Kurt hurried to shift over so that he could put his head on Blaine's chest.

"Thank you for tonight. That was really nice," whispered Kurt dozy turning his head a little bit.

"Oh look. The stars are still glowing. I thought they would have lost their effect by now," said Kurt silently. Blaine could feel that he was smiling, and his eyelashes were tickling his naked skin when Kurt was blinking.

"No. They've been glowing strongly ever since we painted them. Only Puck has seen them," said Blaine.

He got a huge urge to squeeze his arms as tight as possible around Kurt and never let go so they could lie there forever without moving.

But out of nowhere Kurt shifted to lay his head on the pillow next to Blaine. He put his hand softly on Blaine's cheek before he stretched his neck out to let their lips meet.

It wasn't a sexy kiss. It was a deep, warm and gentle kiss that made butterflies flutter around Blaine's stomach. Eventually that wasn't enough space, so they flew out and continued their party in his veins too.

Kurt's mouth was warm and tasted like the strawberries he had been eating just forty-five minutes before. Blaine let his hand form around to Kurt's back so he could drag him even closer, because even though they were lying so close that it was almost painful to breathe because their chests heaved up against each other - he just wasn't close enough.

It was like they had entered a bubble where time and space didn't exist. Like they were just them and nothing else mattered.

Their bodies were laced into one another; arms and legs everywhere, fingers locked in hair, and torsos against each other whilst their lips were slowly moving rhythmically together; as if they had melted to become one set of lips instead of two.

Blaine didn't know how long they lay like this before they finally fell asleep, and he didn't really care. It felt like it was forever, but it also felt like it was only for a minute.

When they did fall asleep they lay embracing each other and both of them were smiling.

When Blaine woke up that morning his bed was empty. He sat up in panic fumbling for his phone to call Kurt but it just went to voice mail. Then he hurried up to put on a pair of pajama pants and the nearest t-shirt before he ran downstairs.

"Mom. Did you see Kurt?" Blaine almost yelled through the house on his way to the kitchen.

When he got out to the kitchen he found Kurt sitting on a kitchen stool drinking coffee with Blaine's mom.

"Morning sunshine," greeted his mom with a smile. Blaine was a bit confused at first but then he walked over to sit on the stool next to Kurt.

"Sorry. I woke up and couldn't sleep anymore, so I came downstairs to get some coffee," Kurt apoligzed. He was wearing the pajama pants of Blaine's he always wore when he was sleeping at Blaine's place, and one of Blaine's old Dalton sweatshirts that Kurt had developed a weak spot for, because he said that it "_smelled like Blaine_" even though he hadn't worn it for ages.

"That's okay. For a second I just feared that you had left," said Blaine, now a bit embarrassed by the way he had reacted.

His mom presented him with a cup of coffee, a twitching in the corners of her mouth as she struggled not to smile at his barely disappeared panic.

Blaine started sipping his coffee in silence wondering what they could have been talking about while he was asleep. They didn't sat anything, so he didn't ask; just smiled to himself by the fact that they were getting along so well.

"I was thinking to go to Puck's music store today. Not to buy anything, but just to annoy him with stupid questions on stupid stuff," said Kurt in a voice that revealed that he was clearly having one of his good days. Kurt took one of the strawberries that had been left over from the night before as he watched Blaine in anticipation.

"Sure. We could do that. But then we have to make up some really horrible questions for him that he can't deny replying," chuckled Blaine at the idea of Puck's irritated face when they would arrive.

"Your dad isn't coming home until tomorrow, so if you want you can stay here again tonight," said Susan obviously hoping for them to say yes.

"It's been really nice having you over. I hope we can do it again soon." She sent Kurt a genuine smile.

"I've really had a good time too, Susan. I would love to come over again. And I guess we could stay here tonight, I just need to get home and pick up some - stuff," returned Kurt with a twitch in his lip as he said the word "_stuff_".

They all knew that he was talking about medication, but it just felt better and more natural to pretend that he wasn't. That he was talking about clothes or something.

"I'm gonna go take a shower before we go creep out Puck." Kurt jumped of his stool leaving Blaine and his mom alone in the kitchen.

When Blaine had finished his coffee he found some cereal and started eating when his mom looked at him as if she was dying to tell him something.

"I am so sorry we haven't done this before. He is so sweet. We spent the morning talking about musicals and clothes. He even told me about his designs and how he wants to go to design school after college." She emptied her mug, and Blaine smiled at her.

He knew that it wasn't what she wanted to say. He could see in her face that there was something else.

"Listen - I am really sorry about everything your father has put you through about… you know. He means well. He just thinks that is what's best for you. But Blaine, I am so happy to know that you have met Kurt; this boy who just really loves you the way you love him. I can see in you how much you love each other. His eyes lit up every time one of us mentioned you. I couldn't be more happy for you." His mom stroked his hand for a bit. She looked really sorry, as if it had been paining her for a long time, and that it was a relief to finally say it.

"It's okay, mom. It doesn't matter. It's dad I'm mad at, not you. I mean - I know he means well, but I just wish that he would respect that this is who I am. Or at least accept it. But I don't care anymore. I just want Kurt, and he wants me too. That's the only thing I really care about," Blaine assured her. He was really honest. His dad's opinion didn't bother him anymore, he just tried to avoid any troubles he could cause by touching the LGBT subject in the Anderson house.

They went to the music store where Puck worked and ran around the place asking him for help with the most ridiculous things they could make up. Like where to find CDs by certain non-existent bands, or if they could get the sheet music for horrible songs that no one liked.

At one point Puck got so frustrated with them that he started offering to pay them to leave him alone, but they kept nagging him.

After an hour it got boring and they agreed with Puck to meet up at Blaine's house that evening and then they drove to Kurt's house to pick up his medications and assure his dad that he was okay.

Blaine had promised Burt to call him if there should be the slightest problem when they were away from home, but they knew that he still worried, so Blaine kept on telling him about their day when Burt was home whenever Blaine was around. He knew that he didn't have to, but he did it to soothe Burt's nerves. He felt so bad for him and knew that he couldn't stop thinking about when Kurt's mom had been sick before she died. He didn't want him to go through that again. Burt never said anything, but every time Blaine sat down and took his time to tell him how Kurt had been through the day Blaine could see in his eyes that he relaxed a little bit.

They spent the day at the Hummel-Hudson house having lunch with Burt and Carol.

Blaine went out to the shop to help Burt work on some cars while Kurt stayed inside with Carol working on some designs he just got an idea for.

Finn was out playing football with Mike and one of his friends from college that lived nearby.

When Finn got home they asked him if he could come to Blaine's house that night too so they waited for him to take a shower before they all left together.

The night at the Anderson house was completely cleared off any kind of tension. Blaine had forgot all the nerves that had filled him the day before when introducing Kurt to his mom. Now he was now very impressed by how easy it all flowed.

Blaine's mom was sitting at a kitchen stool with a drink as she watched the four boys cooking. It had been Blaine and Kurt's idea. They were convinced that both Puck and Finn would be terrible in a kitchen, so they thought they might as well get some fun out of it.

To their surprise it ended up with Kurt and Puck getting frustrated with Finn and Blaine because they didn't do it right.

"Are you kidding me, dude? How hard can it be to follow some simple instructions? Let me do that!" Said Puck annoyed when he pushed Blaine away from the stove, while Kurt tried directing Finn on how to properly cut the egg-plant - that Finn continuously winced at.

Blaine quickly moved out of Puck's way to see his mom laughing at him.

"Who would have guessed - Puck knows how to cook," said Blaine and sat down on the stool next to his mom.

"I knew." Susan slid a glass over the counter, leaving Blaine staring at her with a slightly open mouth.

"You knew? How?" Blaine was shocked by the revelation, and looked at her as if she had just told him that he was adopted.

"One day you weren't home and Noah came over. He didn't feel like going home so I offered him to stay and he helped me make dinner - that is to say that this fine young man did almost all of the work himself, and he did pretty good." She lifted her glass in the direction of Puck who responded by sending her a wide grin.

"Noah Puckerman! How could you hide something so important from me?" asked Kurt. Anyone would have said that the dramatic tone in his voice was feigned, but everyone in the kitchen knew that he was serious. Something like this wasn't a joke to Kurt.

"Yeah. Like I would come over to you all casual 'oh by the way, I can cook' - real manly. And then you wouldn't let me do anything else at your place," replied Puck as-a-matter-of-factly. Kurt sent him a sour look up and down his frame before he dramatically turned his back on Puck who looked to Blaine for advice, but Blaine just nodded to show that he agreed.

When they were done eating Blaine and his mom sacrificed themselves for the group and took on the task of doing the dishes. Meanwhile Kurt dragged Finn into the piano in the living room and sent Puck to get the guitar from Blaine's room.

Blaine and his mom could hear Kurt singing and play the piano as they regularly laughed whenever they heard Kurt correct Finn when he hit the wrong keys.

They spent the night with the instruments, letting Susan reveal a pretty good singing voice that impressed Kurt profoundly.

They all ended up spending the rest of the night watching Humphrey Bogart movies with Puck and Kurt doing their own impersonations from one end of the couch.

When the sun started rising Kurt had fallen asleep with his head resting on Puck's chest, and Puck's arms around making Puck declare that he wasn't gonna move until Kurt woke up by himself.

That showed to be a bit harder than first thought, because after a few horrible Sunday morning cartoons he found out that he had to pee, whilst Kurt was only making himself more comfortable. Blaine offered to try and get Kurt to move over in his side, but Puck refused.

Finn had fallen asleep on the floor in front of the TV, and Susan had gone to bed straight after the first movie had ended, so now it was just Puck and Blaine left.

"Dude. It's so cool that your mom is all great about all of us just chilling here. It's almost too bad that your dad comes home later," said Puck, leaving Blaine with a sting of guilt when he silently agreed with him.

"Hey, I was thinking - do you think I could maybe get you and Finn to help me with something?" asked Blaine a little hesitantly.

He wasn't even sure what he was doing, because it was a pretty spontaneous idea that struck him during Casablanca.

Now he just couldn't shake the thought off, and he knew that he had to discuss it with someone. And except for Kurt Puck was his best friend, and he knew that he could count on him for anything so he decided to just let loose and let him into the entire idea.

"The thing is - Kurt's been getting better. A lot. It's almost like he hasn't even been sick, and the doctors are really optimistic. So I though I would do something special for him. But I can't do it alone. He can't know. That is very important. It's gonna be a surprise. I don't want to get his hopes up if it turns out that I can't make it happen anyway."

Blaine could feel the excitement running through his veins just by talking about it, and he hoped so bad that it would be able to happen.

They spent the rest of the morning discussing Blaine's plans, and Puck listened eagerly and joined in with his own ideas and suggestions making Blaine happy that he had chose to involve Puck so early in the arrangements.

After a few hours Blaine started to believe that it would actually be reality once everything was perfect to the tiniest detail. He watched as Puck bend down to kiss Kurt on the hair before he said that really hoped too that Blaine could make it happen. That he thought Kurt deserved it more than anything right now.

"He's been having a rough year. You're so good to him, Anderson. Even though I was a bit reserved about you in the beginning," said Puck as he carefully started stroking Kurt's hair.

"What? You were _reserved_ about me? What does that even mean?" asked Blaine, trying to hold in a laugh by the sound of Puck's words.

"Dude. Kurt was head over heels for you, but the first time I really met you it ended up with you making out with Rachel, even though you were clearly just as hot for him as he was for you -" explained Puck with a serious look on his face.

Blaine looked awkwardly to the TV where Tom was chasing Jerry across the screen with a large wooden hammer and a maniacal look in his eyes.

"Was I that obvious?" asked Blaine, a bit embarrassed by the old memories being dragged back out in the light.

"Yeah, you were. The only ones who didn't see it were Kurt and Rachel. You know, Rachel's always only seeing what can benefit her, and Kurt was frightened that you would never look to his side that way, and he would end up screwing up your friendship. I mean - he did tell you that he liked you, but he didn't say just how much it was, because he was afraid that it would scare you off. But, bro, it was so clear that you were badly hit too - the way you looked at him. Gee, man. Not subtle there."

Blaine knew that he was blushing incredibly and was very grateful for the dimmed light in the living room, but on the other hand it was really nice to know that people had seen it. That they knew that he actually hadn't been into Rachel at any point; that he had been crazy about Kurt all the time - it only took him longer to pull himself out of his own oblivious fog for him to actually see it himself.

It wasn't the day Pavarotti died that it had occurred to him, that had just been the day where he realized that he should stop fighting it. That he had to have Kurt in his life - as more than his closest friend.

"Yeah. Teenagers in love you know," teased Blaine, not really able to find any words. It was so strange to sit and discuss this with Puck. They had talked about Kurt often, but they had never really talked about their relationship from before they started dating. Blaine had never known how Kurt's friends had felt about him before they had actually got together.

They quickly abandoned the subject because of the awkward tension it caused, so they just returned their attention to the TV. Blaine continued thinking about Puck's words for a bit, but when the clock struck around 8 they were both so tried that they couldn't keep their eyes open.

They agreed to leave Finn to sleep on the floor, but they had to get Kurt to bed. Blaine supported him up the stairs, and then they all three went to sleep in Blaine's bed hoping that Finn wasn't going to panic when he woke up seeing that they had left him.

Kurt hadn't been to school that day, so Blaine had spent the day worrying how bad he might be feeling; but he hadn't heard anything from Kurt all day, and no one else had called or texted him, so he guessed that it was nothing serious.

He decided that as soon as he got out of class he would drive to Kurt's house and go see him, hoping that Kurt would feel better when he got there.

When Blaine arrived he met Burt in the living room. He looked at bit uncomfortable but greeted Blaine as usual. Once Blaine was about to climb the stairs to Kurt's room Burt hurried over to him.

"Listen, I don't think you should go up there right now, son" said Burt. This was the first time since he and Kurt had got back together that anyone had suggested that he shouldn't see Kurt, and an alarm clock in Blaine's head instantly started going crazy.

"Why? What's wrong?" Blaine tried not to seem overly anxious but failed miserably as he frantically looked up the stairs as if he would be able to see what was going on behind the close doors.

"He's been in the bathroom throwing up since this morning. He asked me to make sure you wouldn't see him like that. He's a real mess today." Blaine knew that Burt could tell that he didn't find it to be a good enough reason for him to stay away and that he was just trying to calm him down, but Blaine only found it even more frustrating knowing that Kurt was up there being incredibly sick and he couldn't go up to him.

"Look, I know you wanna be there for him, but he really doesn't want you to come up there," explained Burt, and Blaine knew that he was right, but he still couldn't quite comprehend that Kurt had told him to stay away.

"But - he can't be alone. You know how scared he gets when he's really sick and alone," stormed Blaine not really knowing if he was trying to convince himself or Burt that he should be there, despite Kurt's wish of him staying away.

"Of course he's not alone. Finn is up there with him. He's been holding his hair back, getting him water, comforting him when he's been crying, and everything." Burt started to lead Blaine towards the couch. The TV was on and some speaker was yelling wildly in the background of a baseball game.

It suddenly occurred to Blaine how long it had been since he had watched sports. Everything in his life had turned to evolve around Kurt. He still hung out with his friends at school, but now that he thought about he realized that it had been a really long time since they had stopped asking him to do stuff outside school.

They still didn't know about Kurt being sick, and he didn't plan on telling them; but he was certain that at least Coby had figured out that something was out of place. That everything wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

It was hard because everyone saw them as this magical happy couple, but no one knew the truth. No one knew what they were struggling with, how hard it was tearing on them. No one saw the stress, and the fear, and the tears. All people saw was the smiles, and the kisses, and the cuddling and the looks they sent each other across the room.

Sometimes Blaine could sit at the back of the class in a lesson and just get the urge to walk up to stand in front of everyone and say: "_Yeah, my boyfriend has cancer_" - or when he sat in the cafeteria he could imagine himself jumping up on one of the tables and just scream it out for everyone to hear. But he couldn't.

"I promised Kurt that once you got here I would make you sit down and relax. I'm gonna go get myself a beer and then we can watch the game, alright? Want a beer?" Burt seemed as if he was trying to keep his own mind away from Kurt as well so Blaine decided that he might as well try and help them both, so he politely turned down beer and took seat on the couch.

Burt came in and sat down next to him and pointed his attention to the game on the screen. Blaine could feel that he kept sending him glances every once in a while but he didn't want to say anything. He knew that Burt was worried about him too, and how he was holding up, but he didn't want to put more into his mind. More worrying were the last thing Burt needed.

"I'm sure he'll be fine, and as soon as he gets a little better he'll come down or he'll send Finn down to get you. The doctors told us that this is normal - it's the… chemo." Burt took a huge mouthful of beer, as if he hoped that he could drown the awful word or wash it away. Blaine didn't blame him. He did the same things.

"Yeah, I know. I - I researched a bit myself. When you had first told me about - his disease - I started looking around the internet to see if I could find out as much as possible. The side effects of the medicine, what it would do to him and all that. Kurt doesn't know. I didn't want him to think I was over obsessing or anything - I just wanna be able to help him if there is something he needs, you know."

Blaine couldn't really decide if he felt embarrassed about it. Now that he said it out loud he thought that it did in fact sound like he had been over obsessing, but when he looked back to Burt he was looking at him in a way Blaine had never seen him look at him before. It was the way he looked at Kurt when they had just had a fight and then Kurt said that he was sorry - the same look filled with affection. A look he had never received from his own father.

"Hey, baby. You came -" Kurt and Finn had come downstairs. Finn was holding a blanket up around Kurt's shoulders, wearing an uncomfortable expression on his face. Kurt really did look like a mess; his hair was muffled and his lips were dry and so purple that they almost seemed black, his skin was unnaturally pale and he had dark rings under his eyes. Even his voice was rasp and almost a whisper.

Blaine had to stop himself from jumping out of his seat and over to hold his sick boyfriend. Instead he sat on the edge of his seat, waiting for Kurt to slowly walk over to them with tinier step than Blaine had even seen him take, Finn right behind him holding up the blanket.

When they got over to the couch Blaine immediately moved to make room for Kurt to sit down next to him. Kurt sent him a look that Blaine was sure was made to be judgmental but his face didn't really change much.

As soon as he was sitting down in the middle Blaine shifted to let him lean against his chest. He wanted to put his arms around Kurt, but he was afraid that he didn't want it.

"Are you feeling any better?" asked Blaine softly, and brushed a lock of hair away from Kurt's forehead. He was determined to not let him know how sick he was looking, even though he was afraid that he would never be able to pull it off; Kurt always saw right through him.

"Oh no - did my dad give you all the details? I brushed my teeth like a zillion times but I still feel like my breath stinks like that homeless guy that sleeps in front of the library." He let out a loud sigh followed by a cough.

"I am so sore in my entire body. I feel like I've been running a marathon." He let his head dump hard against Blaine's chest before he made a dissatisfied moan.

"I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do? Do you want some tea? Anything?" Blaine wanted so badly to help him, just take all of his pain away, but Kurt just shook his head.

"I hate this medicine. It's the worst thing in the world. It's killing me!" Whimpered Kurt without noticing Blaine wincing. It hadn't been an intentional choice of words, of course it hadn't, but it still stung.

"I have to go to the shop for a few hours. Will you boys be okay? I'll keep my phone close all the time, just call me if there is anything," said Burt as the game ended. They both assured him that they were going to be fine, so he bent down to kiss Kurt on the hair and left.

Finn had went to his room to get some sleep, so it was just Blaine and Kurt in the living room.

"Blaine. Will you promise me something?" asked Kurt hesitantly after they had sat in silence for some time.

"Sure. Anything -" replied Blaine, hoping that he was just going to ask him to get him some water or anything not serious and horribly real.

"Well, it's just that I came to think - if I start, you know, losing my hair. Because of the chemo, I mean… would you tell me? I am so afraid that I'll start losing my hair. I just can't do that, I can't!" His lower lip starting shivering and tears started welling up in his eyes. How had Blaine not predicted this conversation?

"But, Kurt - lovely, honey, listen to me," said Blaine and shifted so he was looking Kurt in the eyes cupping his face in his hands.

"You have been doing chemo for a good few months now, and the doctors says that you're doing better, and you haven't lost any hair - you're not gonna start losing your hair. Your hair looks just as gorgeous as it always has, and that is not gonna change."

Blaine brushed his thumb over Kurt's cheek to wipe away a tear before he leaned in to kiss him, but he could instantly see that he hadn't convinced Kurt in any way.

"You're such a horrible liar. You're just saying that to make me feel better. My hair looks like I'm 80 or something -" but he didn't get to say anymore before Blaine stopped him.

"That is not true. You look amazing. You are the most beautiful guy I have ever seen - you were the day I first met you, and you still are, so stop bringing yourself down."

Kurt looked down, his cheeks reddening, as he sniffed to avoid sobbing.

"Thank you. I'm just scared. Please promise you'll tell me if you notice me losing my hair, so I can at least try to cover it up," pleaded he, his eyes big and glasslike.

"I promise, baby, okay? But it's not gonna happen. I am sure it won't," responded Blaine, pulling Kurt into an embrace.

Blaine did his best to not attract anymore attention towards Kurt's appearance for the rest of the day, and Kurt luckily didn't bring it up himself.

Finn came back downstairs, and when Kurt started drifting in and out of sleep they agreed that he deserved it as long as he didn't throw up, and started playing some video games.

When it started getting late Blaine got Kurt upstairs, and him safely to bed. He hadn't been throwing up for a long time so he was okay with Blaine staying over.

As always Blaine waited for Kurt to fall asleep before he went to sleep himself.

Kurt stormed out of the bed almost falling over a chair in the dark. Blaine woke from the bang when the chair fell down, and the second he realized what had made the noise he ran out after Kurt, finding him on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet.

He knew that Kurt wouldn't be happy when he found out that Blaine was there, but he didn't care. He sat down on the floor next to Kurt and started stroking his hand up and down his back while letting the other one up to brush his hair away from his eyes.

Kurt's body was shaking from throwing up, and his skin was ice cold through the t-shirt. His fingers were clasping around the toilet, and Blaine could swear that he was crying, but he didn't make a noise.

Blaine didn't say anything, they just stayed sitting on the floor for the rest of the night. Blaine only got up to fill his glass of water and cool down the wet towel he had brought to hold on Kurt's forehead.

It was a long night, with Kurt shifting between crying then suddenly whimpering, or between complaining that he just wanted to sleep. Then a beat later he was angry and calling Blaine names and screaming that it wasn't fair.

Blaine didn't object. He just sat there, holding his hair, holding his arms around him when he was crying, letting him complain, and took the heat when he was yelling and screaming and telling him that he was a jerk, just to tell him that it was okay when immediately after he started crying he apologized.

He was exhausted himself, and when it seemed that Kurt had stopped throwing up he felt like scooping him up into his arms and carrying him back to the bed to let him sleep so he could sleep himself - but Kurt refused. He feared that it would start coming back and he was already embarrassed by Blaine having seen him throw up for hours.

"You must be so tired, just go to bed, sweety. I'll just - I'll just stay, it's okay," squeaked Kurt, but Blaine just shook his head at him.

"Do you seriously think I'm gonna leave you like this? No, not in a million years. I would never let you lie out here all by yourself. I can sleep later, or tomorrow or something," he reassured.

"You're so good to me. Would it be too weird if - if I… no forget it, never mind" stuttered Kurt leaning his head against the cool tiles of the wall.

"No, what is it? Just tell me. I couldn't think you are weird. Ever," Blaine hurried to say.

"It's just. I've been throwing up for what feels like 24 hours, and I feel so gross. I just wanna take a bath, but - I'm afraid to be out here alone. Would you - would you please stay with me?" Kurt's voice got high pitched and his pale cheeks started getting rosy.

"Of course. As I said: I'm not just gonna leave you here. I'll stay here as long as you want me to."

Blaine helped Kurt strip out of his clothes and helped him sit down in the tub, letting the water heat up his ice cold body. Kurt leaned his forehead against the side of the tub, as Blaine sat at the floor leaning his cheek against the other side so he cold face Kurt whenever he needed it.

Kurt still looked extremely sick, like he was on his 10th day of lemonier. He seemed like he had forgotten how to use his muscles and his eyes were lifeless and gray.

He was even so weak that Blaine had to wash his hair. Of course he didn't ask him to do it; Blaine just initially knew that he couldn't do it himself.

Kurt was incredibly embarrassed, and swore silently to himself that he would never mention this; not to Kurt, not to anyone.

When Kurt got out of the water Blaine wrapped a towel around him and hugged him until he could feel that Kurt was starting to get dry.

He supported Kurt back to the bedroom where he helped him into some clean pajama pants and the Dalton shirt he always stole from Blaine.

Blaine didn't tell him, but he had sprayed a bit of his deodorant on the shirt for the nights they spent apart, and he could see in Kurt's eyes that could smell it the second the shirt got close to him.

Now Blaine just wanted to hurry Kurt to bed so he could get some rest. Blaine had already decided that Kurt should see a doctor the next day, just to make sure he wasn't stepping back in his progress.

Kurt would very likely put up a fight and refuse to go, arguing that he was fine and that it was perfectly normal to have days like these during chemotherapy, and Blaine knew that it was true - but it didn't hurt to get it checked.

After much arguing and loud objecting from Kurt he finally agreed to go to the doctor. Blaine had put out the suggestion already in bed at morning. That had been the reason he hadn't gone to school - to go with Kurt to the doctor. When Kurt had found out why he had stayed home he had gotten angry and, as predicted, said that it was ridiculous and unnecessary because it was a perfectly normal reaction.

Blaine had abandoned the argument for a while until Kurt started feeling sick again; then Blaine called the doctor and told Kurt that he was going and there was nothing he could do about it before leading him to the car.

As Kurt had said; the doctor told them that it was natural for his body to react like that when his immune system was going crazy trying to fight the bad cells. Kurt had shot Blaine a sour look, but Blaine had sighed relieved.

The doctor had told them that Kurt's latest test results had been added to his journal and that they said that he had made incredible progress in the last month. He was getting better, and the doctors were extremely optimistic.

"I can't believe it," beamed Kurt in the car on their way home.

He was still feeling sick, but his mood has raised so much that Blaine had to remind him that the doctor had said that he could be feeling this, with occasional throw ups and fevers, for the next few days.

"Me either, it's so great." Blaine was feeling a lot more optimistic himself, and he wished that Kurt wasn't feeling so sick so he could have taken him out to do something. Clearly Kurt would wave it off and say that he was fine if Blaine expressed his thoughts so he decided to keep it to himself to avoid anymore troubles for that day.

True enough; Kurt's temperature went crazy when they got home, and by the time Puck came over he was back to lying on the bathroom floor again - this time welcoming Kurt's caressing hands and consoling words.

The next couple of days continued like that. He would feel fine when he woke up in the morning, but after some hours he would start sweating and feeling cold, and eventually he wouldn't be able to stop himself from throwing up.

Blaine had already made the necessary precautions and made sure that he could do his school work at home, so he could be with Kurt the second he started showing any signs of his body objecting again, then Blaine would proceed to working on his papers while Kurt was asleep.

After some days Kurt went back to school and he acted as if nothing had happened. Blaine didn't mention anything, but he was determined to not let Kurt forget about the past couple of nights if he was to go back to being sick like that and once again refused to treat it properly.

For now Blaine would let him continue acting like nothing had happened, and just keep his eyes open. Kurt was doing so good and was back to dancing and singing in the halls of the school, and joking and laughing with the girls from his class.

At home he went out to help his dad in the shop and had long nights of playing video games with Blaine and Puck. Sometimes he would help Carol cook, and he even spent an afternoon with Mercedes when she was back in Lima to visit her parents.

When he got home that night he had called Blaine and Blaine had asked him how Mercedes had reacted when Kurt had told her that he was sick.

"I didn't tell her. I'm getting better, Blaine, so what would the purpose of that be? It's not like I'm dying or anything." Kurt had sounded as if Blaine had asked him to tell her about a cold or a headache, he could almost hear him roll his eyes through the phone - but Blaine winced and had to swallow when Kurt had said the last part.

Blaine wanted to yell that it wasn't something to joke about, and that he should start taking it a little bit serious - that he couldn't act like it was nothing and everything was fine when he was in fact very sick.

But he didn't. He knew that this was Kurt's way to escape because he knew how serious it was, and he was scared.

Blaine hadn't told Kurt. In fact, he hadn't told anyone; not even Puck, but sometimes Blaine still woke up from Kurt screaming and kicking and crying in his sleep. He knew that he was having nightmares, terrible night terrors, but Kurt didn't say anything.

Some mornings Kurt could wake up being pale as a sheet and refusing to talk to Blaine for almost and hour. He would walk around for himself not talking to anyone, and not eating or drinking. When Blaine tried asking him what was wrong he would just turn and walk into another room.

It was hard, but Blaine did whatever he could to comfort Kurt during his night terrors, but he didn't want to bring them up during the day time. In his opinion it was enough that he was troubled by them in his sleep - he shouldn't have to face them while being awake too.


	7. Chapter 7

Blaine felt awful. He felt incredibly guilty that he was unable to attend Kurt's next hospital visit, which was scheduled currently. If it weren't for this stupid test, in that one test he didn't care about, he could be there for his boyfriend. His boyfriend was more important than a test, of course. Unfortunately, however, that stupid test was worth 30% of his grade, and Blaine was a good student, so despite himself, he went to school.

After class, after that dreadful test that Blaine could barely concentrate on, he walked out to the parking lot, getting into his car - sitting. He still felt guilty for not going with Kurt to his hospital visit, though he knew Kurt would have protested if he had skipped the test to follow him instead. At least Blaine would have been at ease in mind.

He was certain he bombed that test, all he could think about was Kurt the entire time. He may as well not even have turned up. After a moment sitting there, Blaine gathered his thoughts, and pulled out his phone to call Kurt to see how everything had gone. Before he could say anything, Kurt spoke first.

"_Hey baby. How did the test go_?" Kurt sounded feigned cheery. As if there was something he had to say, but didn't know how to, like he was nervous about it. It could possibly be bad, Blaine thought, and he didn't like the sound of that.

"It was okay. But I couldn't stop thinking about you," was all Blaine could get out.

It was the truth after all. Kurt had been all that was on his mind, he suspected the teacher was suspicious when he handed in his test with a few unanswered questions. He didn't care though, his results were the last thing on his mind.

"_That's so sweet. Are you coming to my place then_?" asked Kurt, sounding as if he had been waiting to ask from the second he answered the phone.

"Yeah. I'm in my car now about to start the engine, and then I was gonna get to you. Is everything okay, honey?"

Blaine was starting to get nervous, but he didn't want to say anything. He trusted that Kurt would say whatever was bothering him soon enough.

"_Yeah, everything's cool. I'll see you when you get home. Bye_," and then he hung up, leaving Blaine uncertain about how to feel with Kurt's abrupt shortness.

When Blaine entered the Hummel-Hudson house approximately fifteen minutes later, Kurt called him to the kitchen where he was sitting with his dad and Carol.

At first several thoughts raced in and out of his head, entering and leaving quicker than the previous thought. He knew whenever the three were together like this, there were something serious to discuss.

After quickly clearing his head, he hesitantly sat down, taking his seat in his usual chair next to Kurt.

He could feel them, their eyes all staring at him, waiting to say whatever it was they had to say. It made him feel uneasy, and it showed apparently, as Kurt stretched out his hand that had already been lying on the table a few inches from Blaine's. Kurt took a deep breath, and before speaking up looked towards his dad for support for a moment.

Then he returned his attention to Blaine.

"Blaine. I was at the hospital today - what am I saying, you know that. Anyway, the doctor said that - they offered to put me on some experimental medicine program. Around 22% of the people they put on it have gotten completely cured. I know it's not much to go by but - what if I could be one of those 22%?" Kurt looked nervous, but under the nerves Blaine could sense that he was both optimistic and scared.

"That would be amazing, Kurt. That would be - that would be the most amazing thing in the world." Blaine could feel his own spirit skyrocket along with his hope, even though he could sense that something was off.

He gazed to Burt and Carol across the table, wondering why they needed to be there. It seemed as if they were there for some type of moral support. He thought it was odd since Kurt had just given him such wonderful news.

Kurt cleared his throat indicating there was something more to tell him. There was what Blaine was waiting for - the catch.

"But there's just one thing - I have to quit other treatments that I'm on currently while doing this one. They'll put me in a test group for about three months and if I am not showing any signs of improvement by then, they'll return me to my current treatment."

Blaine felt his heart drop. If Kurt stopped his current treatments and the experimental treatment didn't work - then he'd be three months short of the one that was actually known to work.

"No. Absolutely not. I - I can't support that, Kurt. What if it doesn't work? Then you'll practically be without medicine for three months. It's too risky -" but he stopped when he saw the expression on Kurt's face, and knew what he was going to say even before he opened his mouth.

"I sort of already signed the papers." Kurt looked at Blaine as if he was a ticking bomb, but once he saw Blaine's shocked expression he changed dramatically.

"Come on, Blaine. What if it does work? What if I' could be completely cured in six months? Wouldn't it be worth it?"

Blaine felt like the tiny hope that had just been lit had been extinguished even faster.

"That would be the best thing that could ever happen - but what if it doesn't help? What if it makes you worse?" Blaine felt like screaming. He couldn't even stand thinking about it. He was just starting to get better, much better. Why had he gone and jeopardize that?

"I thought you would be happy," sniffed Kurt, letting go of Blaine's hand as if offended, and stashed his own disappear quickly under the table, making Blaine feel like he was standing in an unbearably strong spotlight.

"I am. I think it would be a miracle if you could get completely cleared of everything - bad. But if we can't be sure that it's gonna work, then I'm just too scared to throw away the progress you've already done in the treatments that _is _helping you right now. I'm just thinking rationally and realistically here. You need to consider all the risks," apologized Blaine apathetically.

He looked to Burt and Carol who seemed to agree with him silently, but didn't want to take away the sudden hope in Kurt's eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just love you too much to gamble with your life like that." Blaine stood up, stating his piece. He couldn't look at Kurt right now. He felt like Kurt was looking at him like he was the one who had made him sick, and now was stealing away his only opportunity of getting cured.

"I'm going for a walk," said Blaine exhaling hard before he turned on his heel and left the kitchen. When he opened the front door he could hear Burt calling after him but he didn't care. He closed the door behind him and walked down past the cars in the driveway and down to follow the sidewalk not giving a damn about where he was headed.

He walked down the street, past The Lima Bean where he and Kurt always went to get coffee and past McKinley High. He walked past the football field where they had watched Finn and Puck play football, the parking lot where Kurt had shown him how Puck had thrown him into the dumpster and down to the little path in the park where he and Kurt so often had walked hand-in-hand.

It was like everything came splashing down in his face and he was convinced that he and Kurt had known each other forever, and yet everything they had done together had happened at the speed of lightning. It had been way too fast, they had been given way too short of time together.

He walked onward a bit more down a little path where he sat down on a bench under a tree. From the bench he could see a bunch of kids running around on the park playground. They were screaming and laughing as their mothers or nannies were watching them from the benches on the side.

A little boy came over to sit next to Blaine on the bench.

Neither of them looked at each other, they just kept staring out at the playing children.

"The boys tease me," the little boy said, running his hand over his nose as he sniffed.

"They call me a girl because I wanna play with the girls. And Tommy pulled the arm off my doll when he found it."

Blaine glanced at the little boy. He kept on sniffing, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles and licking his lips as he held his eyes locked on the boys on the grass chasing each other with plastic swords.

"Don't let them get you down. It might be tough now, but just play with the girls if you like that better. Later you'll meet some amazing people that won't care. You can play with whoever you want, buddy," said Blaine, suddenly having to resist the need to put his arms around the boy.

He felt incredibly sorry for the little guy. He had never had those troubles himself, because he had always played with both boys and girls. It wasn't until he got older and started struggling with his sexuality that it became a problem for him - but Kurt had told him painful tales about his childhood.

"It'll get better. Not all people are like that. I promise. Just don't listen to the boys and go play with the girls instead." Blaine wasn't one for pep talks, especially with people he was unfamiliar with, but he did honestly want to make the boy feel better. After all, what he said had been true; he would meet someone that would make his life better. It had to be that way. That's how it had happened for Blaine.

"Thanks. You're nice. I like you," the boy said as he smiled up at Blaine before his mom called and he had to run. Blaine sat for a bit looking at the boy getting his nose wiped by his mom at the other side of the playground. Blaine was smiling to himself hoping that he had somehow helped the boy even though he knew how cruel kids could be.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he started to panic, fumbling around to get it out. He looked at the display and saw that it was Finn calling, so he decided that he'd better answer it. Maybe something had happened. How long had he been gone?

"Finn? Is everything okay?" asked Blaine as soon as he put the phone to his ear, instantly regretting how freaked out he had sounded.

"_Dude. You have to go back. Kurt is really upset. The way you walked out on him was really mean. He called and asked me to talk to you, he was talking all fast and his voice was sharp and everything_. _I could barely understand what he was on about_."

Finn sounded as if he would rather not be caught between the crossfire, he knew it wasn't his place. Kurt was his brother though, and especially now more than ever, Finn wanted to do whatever to comfort him, and make sure he was happy. If that meant to get between their bickering, he would do it for Kurt. He couldn't say no, not with how upset Kurt had sounded over the phone.

"I know. It was just - I was just shocked and frustrated a bit. You know, sometimes it's just hard to take in, and… it's just a lot." Blaine hid his face in his free hand, a feeling of nauseatingly guilt creeping up his neck.

"_I know what you mean. But - could you please go back. He really wants to talk to you about it, but he was afraid that if he called himself you wouldn't answer your phone. Just - at least let him know that you aren't mad or something," _asked Finn.

Blaine promised and said goodbye. He stood up from the bench and took a last look over the playground. The little boy was standing with some of the girls over by the mothers and he looked like he was having fun. It was comforting to know that he, at least for now, could be left alone.

Then he started to go back. The road back felt like it was way longer than it had been when he had left. Maybe because he had been so upset when he had left the kitchen. He had no idea how long he had been gone, but he was starting to fear that it was longer than he should have been.

When he entered the house he was met by Carol. She didn't say anything except that Kurt was in his room. She sent him a sympathetic smile, and he took that as she was silently agreeing with him, and he was almost certain that Burt was too. How could they not have been?

Blaine knocked on Kurt's door before he opened it just enough to let in his head.

"Can I come in?" Blaine asked quietly, not daring to walk in before Kurt had allowed him to. Kurt nodded at him, and he walked in, feeling the atmosphere to be nauseatingly awkward.

Kurt was curled up on the bed in front of him hugging Blaine's pillow. Blaine walked over to sit on the edge of the bed, looking at Kurt suddenly feeling unbelievably tired.

He moved up to sit next to Kurt so he could stroke a hand over his hair.

"I'm really sorry that I reacted like that. I know that it was immature - I was being a real jerk," Blaine said softly, doing his best to keep up the eye contact, when Kurt abruptly sat up.

"Yes, you were. You were more than a jerk. You were being a real prick," Kurt said, throwing him a punch with the pillow with each sentence he said.

"How the hell am I supposed to stay open and hopeful if my boyfriend doesn't even support me? How the hell am I supposed to believe that I can even stand a chance if my own boyfriend doesn't even back me up?"

Kurt threw him a last hard punch, before he pushed him hard in the chest so Blaine almost fell off the bed. Blaine squeezed his eyes closed to stop himself before he blew up, but it was too late. He felt completely boiled on the inside, and even before he opened his mouth there was the guilt overflowing in his brain, as he felt himself jump to his feet in anger.

"Would you stop being such a drama queen? Did you even stop for a second to think about how I was and still am feeling about all of this? Did it ever cross your mind that this is hard for me too? You're acting like a spoiled brat because I said that I can't support a project that might kill you. Is that me being unsupportive?"

He instantly wished that he could take it back. All color left Kurt's face and he closed his eyes while letting his fingers dig deep into the bedspread.

"I am acting like a spoiled brat. _I_ am acting like a spoiled brat? Is that really what you think? That I am nothing but a kid not getting what I want? Because I wanna grab this chance that might help me live. I am _dying_, Blaine. Right now. Whether you wanna face it or not, I am headed directly for the grave, and I am just fumbling in the dark for something miraculous to save my life. Can you really blame me?"

Kurt wasn't screaming or yelling. His voice was tensed, but calm. It was dripping with acid and his eyes that had grown steel gray and hard were piercing into Blaine's dark ones. He didn't even blink, neither of them did.

Kurt's fingers were digging so hard into the mattress now that his knuckles had turned white and the veins on his hands were almost glowing through his skin.

Blaine was in shock. This was the first time they had touched the subject so openly, and he wished so badly that it had been done differently. He would do anything to take it all back, and instead sit down and have a calm, adult conversation about it; but he knew that was impossible.

"Kurt. That's exactly my point. I just wanna save you. I am so scared all the time. Every time I get a text or my phone rings when I'm not with you I am so afraid that it's someone telling me that -" He paused for a bit to gain the courage to say the word out loud. This was it, he had to speak it.

"-that it's someone telling me that you're dead. When I wake up at night I check that you're breathing, when you start coughing, or just are really sick my first thought is 'is this it? Is it gonna happen now?' I want you to stay alive. I want you to be cured. I want you to stay here - with me! Call me selfish, but I just want you to stay _with me _forever!"

Blaine suddenly pictured himself sitting down on the bed shaking Kurt hard until he understood what it was that he was saying, but in reality he couldn't do anything but just stand and glance at him as he was looking to the bed with his open mouth and wet eyes.

Blaine shook his head in frustration before he dumped down to sit on the bed in front of Kurt.

Kurt still didn't look up, he just kept staring down, not even his breathing making a sound.

"I'm sorry. I really am. You gotta believe me. I was being unreasonable, I know that. But you were too, we both were. That's the thing - we haven't even discussed it. You keep hushing on us, asking us to pretend like it's not real: but it _is_ real. You are very sick, Kurt, and we need to handle it instead of pushing it away." Blaine brushed a lock of hair behind Kurt's ear feeling that his skin was burning hot - but for once he didn't fuss about it.

"I am tired. I am so exhausted; exhausted in my head, in my body, in my soul - and I am so scared in my heart. Scared all the time. I can't imagine what I would ever do without you, it's just too much pain. How would I deal with that? I don't even wanna think about it. But honey, we've got to talk about this. You can't just shut off. I know that you are scared too, but I wanna be there for you. Please let me be there for you."

Blaine wasn't crying. His eyes actually felt so dry that they were about to itch. His skin felt ice cold, and all the fire he had been filled up with just a few moments before were all gone.

Kurt's face was wet from tears but he still didn't make a sound or look at Blaine, and Blaine knew that Kurt was being struck by the truth he had tried to run away from.

"Come here," Blaine said and put his arm around Kurt to drag him in so he could lie against Blaine's chest.

"We shouldn't be fighting about who's scared the most. We shouldn't be fighting about who's having the hardest time right now. It's like if we started fighting about who loves who the most. It's not a fair match, because it can't be decided. Can we just agree that we're both scared?" He started rocking back and forth as he stroked Kurt's back feeling his tears through his shirt, hoping they would stop soon.

"Yeah. You're right. Why are we acting so childish?" sniffed Kurt, putting his arm awkwardly around Blaine's waist stretching up his neck so he could kiss Blaine's chin.

"Are you gonna stay here tonight?" asked Kurt completely out of nowhere, after they sat slowly rocking back and forth for a while.

"Mhm - I just got to go home and get some clothes and books first, but I'll hurry and come back to love you." Blaine squeezed Kurt as if he had been a child, before Kurt twisted his torso around so he could sit up and wrap his legs around Blaine as he started kissing him.

The kiss quickly went from being an innocent peck on the lips to being deeper and more passionate. Blaine let his arms reach as much around Kurt as he could, feeling Kurt letting himself get heavier so Blaine let himself fall down on the bed.

Kurt still on top of him letting his legs kneel on each side of Blaine, his crotch strategically correctly placed, so he started moving his hips rubbing his crotch up and down against Blaine's.

Blaine started feeling dizzy, letting his own crotch rub back against Kurt's while engaging completely in the kiss. He let his hands slide down to the lower of Kurt's back, once again surprising him how limber Kurt could get in jeans as tight as his favorites. He let the fingers of his one hand slide discretely down the line of Kurt's jeans and boxers, before he let the other down to grab his ass making Kurt sigh deeply into his mouth.

"This is so unfair. Ugh." Blaine moaned into Kurt's mouth feeling Kurt smile teasingly against his lips.

"What is?" Asked Kurt as he proceeded kissing down Blaine's neck to start biting his earlobe causing a stream of blood to run from Blaine's brain to his dick, Kurt still rubbing his crotch rhythmically against Blaine's growing erection.

Blaine grabbed harder around Kurt's ass, letting his one finger slide gently over the naked skin of Kurt's lower back, while he pushed his hips up to better feel the motions of Kurt's cock against his own.

"I have to go home. But I will come back, I promise," Blaine said, struggling not to moan anymore. He needed to keep his head clear so he could drive without risking his life.

"So? I still don't see how I'm being unfair, though," sighed Kurt with heavy breath into his ear.

"No? You're making me damn horny, that's how -" Blaine said, but stopped abruptly as both of them instantly turned their head to see that Burt had opened the door and was standing there looking at them.

Blaine felt his face grow even redder than he had ever felt. They had no idea how long he had been standing there, but Blaine had no plans on asking.

He didn't know if he should push Kurt away, or if he should stay this way to hide his hard on. Either way he was frozen in the spot so he didn't move an inch.

"I was just coming to check that you had stop fighting. I am guessing that you have." Burt seemed just about as embarrassed as Blaine felt, and it was hard to say if he was angry.

They did have sex in Kurt's room, and bathroom before, but they had a no-sex-discussion-policy and they were all very appreciative about that decision, so they had the feeling that Burt was living in the denial that Blaine and Kurt were in a platonic relationship.

"Yeah, dad. That's great, we're fine. Would you please -" asked Kurt with dark red ears and a frantic voice that suddenly made Blaine very aware of where he was holding his hands and hurried to let them drop to the bed.

Burt let his eyes flicker quickly between them looking like his brain was overloading trying to figure out something to say.

"Good. I don't want you fighting. And uhm - could you at least wait with that until you're home alone, or lock the door or something?" Burt looked down to the floor when he said it, but it was very clear that he found it important to mention it, regardless of how uncomfortable it made all of them.

"Dad. We're not - we're not having sex, okay. Just, please just go," Kurt said and sat up, luckily for Blaine not sitting all down. Apparently he had noticed that an action like that could be very painful for Blaine.

Burt grumped at them before shooting a quick glance and closing the door behind him, Blaine still frozen in the spot until Kurt turned his head to look at him.

"That was pretty inconvenient," was all he had to say, his ears not as red as they had been.

"I still can't move without hurting you horribly, can I?" he asked with a face revealing that he was on the edge of breaking into giggles.

"Not really, no. That was pretty hot. _You_ are pretty hot - fuck you, man. I'm going to my mom's place, and now all I can think about is _you naked_, moaning and touching me," Blaine said closing his eyes as he remembered that he was about to go face his parents, and his dad was home.

Kurt carefully let his leg slip over Blaine's hips so he could sit down on the bed next to him, before he started trying to push him to sit up.

"Come on. You've got to go home so you can hurry back to me. If you're fast I'm gonna talk Puck into coming over with ice cream and we can all watch a movie," said Kurt, suddenly extremely hyper active.

"Okay, okay. That sounds like something I could do with," Blaine said as he stood up and had to reach his hand down to fix his boxers that weren't sitting as perfectly as they had been just minutes earlier.

"I'll leave now then. See you later, babe." Blaine went down to kiss Kurt quickly before he grabbed his bag to leave the room Kurt stopped him right before he closed the door behind him.

"Blaine! I love you the most, though," he said innocently sending him an air kiss. Blaine grinned broadly at his comment.

"That's impossible," he said before he closed the door and proceeded downstairs, doing whatever he could to avoid running into Burt on his way to the front door.

Blaine entered the hall of his home, the atmosphere of his dad's presence instantly hitting him hard in the face, as if he'd been hit by a block of cement. It was strange how the presence of his dad could change the house's feel that drastically. The days he was gone, and Kurt had been there it had felt peaceful and homely. Tonight he just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, and avoid any kind of encounter with his dad.

Blaine walked through the hall to the kitchen where he found his mom making coffee, suspecting his dad to be in the TV room.

"Hey Blaine, how are you?" His mom turned to face him with a gentle smile across her face.

"Hey mom. I'm just picking up some clothes and I'll go back to Kurt's place. I'll call you tomorrow, alright," said Blaine hugging his mom before heading for his room.

"That's alright, honey. How is Kurt these days?" asked she, following him upstairs.

"He's doing much better. He has some days where he gets a bad fever, and occasionally he's unbelievably moody, but the doctors says that he's doing better," Blaine explained while packing up a bag. He didn't feel like telling her about the experimental project that Kurt had agreed to, because that would lead to telling her about their fight, and he didn't want to think about it.

He figured he could tell her about it, and simply leave out the part about the fight, but that would mean that he had to speak the words. Once again he had the feeling that if he didn't say it out loud, then maybe it would go away? Blaine knew how childish a thought that was, but right now he wanted to cling to every tiny hope there was - even the childish ones.

"That's so nice to hear. I would love it if you guys came by again some day. Puck and Finn too. I had such a great day the last time you were here." Susan was sitting on the bed while observing her son.

She didn't look troubled, but Blaine thought that he could feel a sting of worry in her voice. As if she could see right through him. After he had told her about Kurt's illness, and he had brought Kurt, Puck and Finn home Blaine felt that some sort of invisible chord had been formed between them, and it was as if she could look directly to his soul and see everything going on inside him.

"I would love that, mom. We all had fun last time we were here." He kissed her on the cheek before they walked downstairs again.

They went to the living room where his dad was sitting watching the news.

"I'm gonna take off now. I'll call home tomorrow. See you, dad." He rushed his words, leaving his dad no opportunity to speak back to him.

Blaine had almost reached the hall when his dad called him back.

"Blaine. Come back here for a minute, would you?"

Blaine felt his palms instantly get sweaty and a tingle at the back of his mind telling him that this was going to be a heavy weathered conversation.

"Yeah, dad. What's up?" asked Blaine, trying to sound as innocent as possible when he returned to the living room, doing his best to avoid looking at his dad, but now it was inevitable. His dad turned down the volume and shifted to look at Blaine.

"Don't you think you've been spending an awful lot of time at that boy's house lately? Your mother and I hardly ever see you anymore," his dad began in a strained voice.

Blaine didn't have a single doubt that he was getting ready to pull out the big forces if he thought it to be needed.

"Well, I have been spending a lot of time there lately. But I still see mom. You're just not around that much -" but he stopped. His father was starting to grow pink in the face, and he had stopped gazing at the TV out of the corner of his eyes.

"I don't think you should go over there tonight, son. It's not healthy for you. Besides; I don't like the thought of you sleeping over there. I've gotta be honest with you; I don't like it." Blaine's father shot him a glance as if to say "_it's for your own good_" that made it run uncomfortably down Blaine's spine.

"Dad. I am going to Kurt's place tonight. You need to start facing the fact that this is me, and I am with Kurt, and it's not gonna change. This is who I am, whether you like it or not." Blaine wasn't going to deliberately start an argument, but he wasn't going to let his father start terrorizing about this once again.

"You're not. You need to stop spending so much time with that boy. Teenage flings are always gonna run out in the sand. You need to stop spending so much time with him. You're just gonna get too attached and then suddenly he's gone!" His father had raised his voice and got up from his chair.

Blaine could feel his mom looking at him, but he didn't glance to her side.

He knew that his father didn't know about Kurt being sick, so his father had no idea what his words actually meant to Blaine - but the comment had still hit Blaine straight in the chest.

"Maybe if you actually got know me, instead of living in a fantasy about the son you always dreamed of you, would know that in a few months I won't be a teenager anymore. This is not just some 'teenage fling'. I'm gonna marry him some day. But you know what - fuck you. I am gay regardless of what you think would be 'good for me'. I love Kurt and Kurt loves me too, so just do me a favor and go to hell." Blaine turned on his heel and left the living room.

Blaine could hear his mom running after him down the hall but he didn't even stop to look at her.

He opened the door and walked to his car before she reached him. She put a hand on his arm to stop him from jumping in the car before she had a word.

"Blaine. I know what he said hurt you, but you do know that he didn't mean it like that, right? He doesn't know about Kurt." Susan's eyes were glistening in the dark, and she sounded sympathetic.

"Listen, I'm not gonna stop you from going to Kurt's house, because I really feel like you should be there. He needs you right now, and you need him. But I just wanna ask you to not be too angry with your dad. I know that he's a grumpy old man with a very conservative look on the world - but he really does think that it's the best for you. It's the values he was raised with, it's because he loves you." She paused for a bit clearly knowing that Blaine was well aware of what she was telling him, but it didn't matter, that last comment had been crossing the line way too far.

"Just promise me you'll stay in touch, okay? Don't worry about me or your father, the most important thing is that you and Kurt stick together right now. Call me once in a while, and I'll stop by Kurt's house." She hugged him for a minute before she turned her back and walked towards the front door.

"Thanks, mom. It means the world to me. And Kurt. I love you," said Blaine. She turned and sent him a smile before she walked in to close the door before he started the car and drove away.

When Blaine got back to Kurt's house he found Kurt and Puck on Kurt's bed wrapped around each other while watching some random movie that clearly had been Puck's choice based on the current explosion on the screen.

"Bro. You look like you just ran over a box of kittens or something," Puck said sitting up, stretching his arms before putting them back around Kurt, letting him rest his head on Puck's chest when he looked to Blaine who had sat at the foot of the bed.

"It's nothing. I just had a fight with my dad, and now I guess I'll stay here if I can -" said Blaine with a '_nothing new there_' expression on his face as he shrugged.

"I'm sorry, baby. Are you okay?" Kurt asked worried, but Blaine simply nodded.

"I'm fine. He's an ass. I told him to go to hell, so I'm guessing he's not too thrilled with me either right now." He crawled up to the other end of the bed so he could lean his head against Puck's shoulder, letting his fingers lock with Kurt's.

"Screw him. Let's watch some movies and do nothing," said Blaine desperate to get his mind off his problems with his dad.

They spent the rest of the evening watching movies of Puck's choice until Kurt fell asleep.

When Puck was getting up to leave Kurt whimpered and refused to let him go, but in the end Puck got himself twisted out of Kurt's grip and out of the door.

The next couple of days went on without problems.

Kurt started the new treatment a week after he had signed the papers. In the beginning he didn't feel any different, but after a week his moodswings escalated; he had days where he spent the entire day in bed crying and then in the evening he would be exhausted and cuddly. Other days he would be happy and energetic but soon turned to get mad without anyone really knowing why he was mad, and there were the days where he would wake up horny and try to talk Blaine into both of them ditching school so they could stay in bed all day and then suddenly he would get sad when Blaine had to say no.

Kurt was still suffering from night terrors. Blaine could wake up finding him screaming and kicking, and other nights Kurt would wake up Blaine begging him to hold him and sing him to sleep.

Blaine was constantly tired and he saw his grades go gradually down. He was used to getting straight A's and occasional B's, but now he was getting C's and sometimes D's. He was struggling to keep up with his homework and handing in essays and projects in time.

_Burt and Carol had contacted the school when Kurt had got sick. They had explained the case to the principal who had been very open and understanding about it._

_The principal had made sure that Kurt's teacher knew about it, so they could keep up cooperating to make sure Kurt didn't go too far behind in his education while being under treatment._

_When Blaine had been told that Kurt was sick Burt had explained that the school knew about it, so the first thing Blaine had done was to contact his favorite teacher and tell him what had happened. The teacher had promised to share it with Blaine's other teachers and they made a deal that if Blaine kept in touch they would take his occasional absence from classes lightly as long as work effort didn't suffer from it._

In the beginning Blaine had tried matching it so he could spend the day with Kurt, and then when Kurt fell asleep early at night he would work his butt off with his school work, but it was starting to get hard as the big tests were getting closer and he was getting more and more exhausted from holding up with Kurt's swinging mood and the constant fear lurking in the back of his head.

Blaine made sure to call his mom as promised, and sometimes they met up at a small coffee house near their house. He took the chance of pouring out his heart to her when Kurt wasn't with them, and he found that it lifted a lot of his worries.

One night Blaine's mom was in Lima so she called to ask if they could meet up, and as Kurt was sick he didn't want to leave the house, so they agreed that she should come over instead.

Susan ended up in the Hummel-Hudson kitchen talking to Burt and Carol until late that night.

Burt told her about how Kurt's mom had been sick too before she had died, and they discussed Blaine and Kurt's relationship, and how great it was to have Finn and Puck as a part of the family as well.

Blaine had wrapped a blanket around Kurt so he could come downstairs with them because he refused to stay in his room while Susan was there.

Neither Blaine nor Kurt engaged much in the conversation, they mostly stayed silent observing how well their parents were getting along. They had never discussed introducing their parents to each other, they had been convinced that it would be a terrible idea and something that was to be pushed way into the future; but now that Susan was sitting in the Hummel-Hudson kitchen lively talking to Burt and Carol it seemed foolish that they hadn't done it sooner.

"I'm really happy that we finally got to meet. Blaine's father isn't exactly what you would describe as supportive of the kids' relationship, but I want you to know that I am very happy to have Kurt in Blaine's life. I've never seen him so happy. To me Kurt is already family," Susan said as she started to get ready to drive home.

Kurt was sitting on Blaine's lap where he had fallen asleep, and Blaine was yawning too. He looked to the table and tightened his grip around Kurt a little by the sound of his mom's words.

"Blaine is definitely a part of our family, and he can stay with us anytime he want. He's helped Kurt grow a lot, and now it's just great watching as they grow together, you know. If only love had been that easy when were young," chuckled Burt as he and Carol stood up to follow Susan to the front door.

She bent down to kiss Blaine goodbye and stroke Kurt's hair before she followed them through the house.

Susan thanked Burt and Carol for having opened their home for Blaine and for being so supportive of their relationship. They all agreed to stay in touch before she said goodnight and left.

Blaine wished silently that Kurt could have shared the moment with him. He chuckled a little under his breath by the thought that their parents had finally been introduced, after they had been together for so long. Blaine shook his head a little at how foolish they had been to postpone it, before he started to help Kurt to get up to bed with him.

Blaine lay awake in the dark listening to Kurt's sleepy breathing while thinking about how great it would be if their parents could actually become friends. He knew that his dad would never engage in such a friendship - that would mean that he'd have to accept that Kurt was a permanent part of Blaine's life; but just his mom, Burt and Carol.

After an hour with thoughts rolling around his head he started drifting in and out of sleep; weird dreams of Kurt announcing that he was cured only for a doctor to say that it had been a joke and that he wasn't going to make it. The horrible nightmare would drift into a dream of Blaine at Kurt's funeral singing _Blackbird_ with his mom holding his one hand and Kurt's ghost holding his right, and then drifting into a dream of himself coming home from work finding him married to Kurt with a son together.

As a part of the new treatment program Kurt had to go to regular tests at the hospital even more often than he had done before. Blaine went with him every time, and the doctors were starting to get more positive and said that they didn't see any change in Kurt's state.

They said that he wasn't getting better, but it was good news that he wasn't getting worse either.

Kurt started feeling better, and after some time he started to go regularly to school again, eventually he had two weeks straight without any absence and he wasn't as exhausted as he used to be. The daily life almost started feeling normal again.

Blaine didn't dare get his hopes too high, but he couldn't help feeling Kurt's spirit catch on. Kurt's mood was high, and Puck started talking about what they should do once Kurt was declared cured for everything. He was certain that Kurt would be back to normal during the summer, and then he said that he thought they should pack up Finn and go for a road trip to New York.

Kurt ecstatically joined in on his idea, and in time the planning had gone from jokingly to serious. Kurt and Puck could spend hours on their backs in Kurt's bed looking to the ceiling as they discussed where to go and what to do and for how long.

Blaine would listen to their talks joining in with ideas every now and then, but doing his best to stay out of it. He loved the idea, and he knew that it was helping Kurt keep up his mood. Blaine was just afraid that Kurt wouldn't be all cured when the summer came, and then Kurt would be down because they couldn't live out their plans. He didn't want to see him disappointed, and Puck knew it, but his main thought was to keep Kurt high spirited.

One day Rachel was back in Lima for a family event and Kurt went out shopping with her, of course promising to keep his phone close. He was still refusing to tell Rachel that he was sick even though Blaine kept saying that he thought it was about time he did it.

Blaine stayed at home playing video games with Finn and Puck when something suddenly hit him.

"Guys. You know Kurt's been doing a lot better lately, right?" He pressed the pause button before he leaned back to look at the guys that was staring at him in surprise that he had paused the game in such an important place of the level they had reached.

"Yeah. That's good right? I mean, he's out with Rachel and he's almost never bitchy anymore," Finn said confused, not really following where Blaine was headed with this sudden break.

"I am thinking that if my plan has to be put to reality I'll have to do it now. How long do you think you need to get the details ready Puck? I think I could get everything ready in a few days." Blaine had moved to sit on the edge of his seat, and saw that Puck had caught his thought instantly but Finn was still looking a bit confused.

"Are you sure it's a good idea, man? I mean, what if he gets sick again?" Finn asked, ignoring Puck's wide grin as he was clearly picturing the details of the plan take form.

"Well, if he gets sick again we'll figure out what to do. But he's not gonna, he's only been getting better the last couple of weeks, and we went to the doctor yesterday and he said that he didn't see any detours in the future," explained Blaine as he felt an adrenaline kick coming up.

"Dude. That is perfect. I'm gonna have your stuff ready tomorrow or something. I already asked someone to do them, so I'll just call them and say that you'll need it now," said Puck and started to get out his phone.

"So we're doing this? We're really doing this? Finn, are you up for it?" Blaine looked at Finn unable to wipe off his wide grin as doing so.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm in. Kurt is gonna freak out when he finds out. I just wish I could see his face." Finn had left the confusion completely behind and instead he was starting to get pumped for the idea just as Blaine and Puck.

They completely forgot their game and instead started heavily discussing the last details of the plans. Puck had a bunch of great ideas, some amazing and perfect, others making both Blaine and Finn raise their eyebrows before bursting into laughter.

After a few hours they had everything planned out and Blaine was starting to feel how real it was becoming. He knew that it was going to take him a lot of secrecy and it was going to be hard hiding it from Kurt, but in the end it would be all worth it.

When Kurt got home late that afternoon Blaine didn't even dare looking him in the eyes, and Puck kept glancing at him with a suspiciously broad grin making Kurt send him weird looks for the whole night asking him if he was okay, making Blaine give Puck an elbow in the ribs every now and then to remind him to keep up the secret.


	8. Chapter 8

"Pst, Kurt. Wake up, baby. It's important," Blaine whispered through the darkness of Kurt's room.

"Blaine. It's in the middle of the night. Why aren't you in bed?" asked Kurt in a dozy voice when he saw that Blaine was sitting on the floor next to him instead of lying in the bed as he used to.

"How are you feeling, sweety?" Blaine let a soft hand run over Kurt's forehead, his voice still silent as if he was afraid to wake up some invisible sleeper in the room.

"I don't know. A bit grumpy that you're waking me up in the middle of the night like this, to be honest." He rose a bit on his elbows to get a better look on the guy in front of him.

He had no idea what could possibly be going through Blaine's mind, all he could see was that his eyes were sparkling and a wide grin was plastered all over his face. He was clearly on the verge of explosion to tell him whatever it was that he had woken up Kurt to tell him.

"Listen. We don't have much time; we need to do this before your dad and Carol wake up. Finn is waiting for us downstairs, you just need to pack up a bag. We're picking Puck up on the way." Blaine almost jumped up from the floor as he frantically tried not to scream from excitement.

Kurt sat properly up in the bed when Blaine's words hit him. He shook his head to try and really comprehend what was happening; but failed.

"What are you saying, Blaine? Where are we going?" He sat up in the bed and looked Blaine up and down as he was tiptoeing back and forth across the floor, already in his clothes.

"I'll let you know soon enough. Just trust me. Please. We've done everything to make this perfect," begged Blaine while fumbling around in his pocket.

As Kurt slowly started getting his brain to function, he started feeling excited to find out what was going on. He jumped out of the bed feeling the cold wind from the open window hit his naked legs. As he shivered Blaine hurried to put a blanket around him.

"Are you cold, honey? Should I bring some blankets in the car?" He suddenly sounded nervous, but Kurt shook his head in response.

"No, just tell me where we're going so I know what to pack," said Kurt, but Blaine kept refusing to say anything - all he said was that he needed clothes for hot weather and for being fancy; which made Kurt's imagination run wild.

"What are you gonna tell dad?" Kurt rested his head against Finn's shoulder.

Blaine still hadn't told him anything about their trip except that he had planned them to be gone for around 8 days and that for some reason Puck had made them fake ID's.

After that he had spent the entire drive to the airport thinking about whether or not to call his dad.

"I'm gonna tell him where you guys are, and once he's calmed down I'll explain to him that Blaine has thought it all through, and if anything is to happen you'll call home. But nothing is gonna happen. You've been getting better lately and Blaine made sure to pack up enough of your medicine to cover two weeks. He's really made every single precaution there could possibly be needed."

Finn ran a hand over Kurt's hair when Puck came over and dumped down in the seat across them with a broad grin covering his face.

"Your man's really got a feel of things. He just told me about your hotel and it sounds pretty fine. You know, you've gotta tell me everything when you get back. I bet there's some sweet ladies."

Finn laughed awkwardly as Kurt looked at Puck with raised eyebrows, in a way that made Puck look as if he wasn't sure what he had missed.

"Seriously, Puckerman? You're asking two gay guys to tell you about the women of wherever it is that we're going?" Kurt almost giggled by the sound of his own words, but Puck's grin slowly turned into a frown. He looked uncomfortably down in the floor before he mumbled:

"Yeah, well, can you blame a guy in Ohio for wanting to hear about Vegas chicks?" He instantly froze up; eyes growing wide, realizing what his last two words were, he panicked. He'd made a mistake. Kurt sat straight up in his seat, his eyes huge and his mouth hanging wide open.

"Dude! You weren't supposed to tell him that!" boomed Finn at him before they both turned to look at Blaine who was coming back from the store around the corner.

"Hey guys. I got us all some cokes. I don't know how long we're gonna wait here -" He looked around at the others before he realized something was wrong.

"We're going to Vegas?" Kurt's voice was high pitched and his expression emotionless.

"You told him? Aww, come on guys, you promised…" divulged Blaine. He stared at Kurt in an apologetic way.

"I'm sorry. I wanted it to be a surprise. So you wouldn't find out until we were flying over the city and you could see all the colored lights." His eyes dropped as he sat down next to Kurt.

"Are you disappointed?" he asked, not daring to look at his boyfriend. But Kurt got stiff in his entire face, as if he had been slapped, when he brought up a hand to force Blaine to look at him.

"Disappointed? Are you serious? It's amazing, Blaine!" He threw his arms around Blaine's neck to kiss him to the sound of a cheers of "_awww_" from Puck and Finn next to them.

When they let go of each other Blaine was shining all over his face and it was very clear that Kurt who had woken up in anticipation was now very, very eager for this trip.

He started to sit restless in his seat and play with Blaine's fingers, watching people walk by them while silently singing musical tunes to himself.

The waiting was starting to feel endless. Kurt started yawning after having listened to Blaine, Puck and Finn discussing football for more than an hour, when they realized that they had to go to the gate and Kurt's mood suddenly dropped when they were to part.

"Thanks guys. Both of you. I couldn't have done this without you." Blaine hugged both Finn and Puck before they all turned to Kurt.

His eyes were teary and Blaine could feel him squeezing his hand tighter than usual. Suddenly he let go of Blaine's hand and wrapped his arms around Finn.

"You're the best brother I could ever wish for. Thank you so much." Kurt's tears started to stain Finn's t-shirt, and Finn looked awkwardly around at the others before he slowly let his arms embrace Kurt in return.

"Everything for you, man. You're my brother. How could I do anything else?" laughed Finn.

Kurt released his grip and smiled up at him, tiptoeing to kiss his cheek before he turned to Puck who immediately opened his arms to let Kurt into a warm hug.

"Who would have guessed that bad boy Puckerman would end being my best friend? -except for Blaine that is, of course," grinned Kurt. His eyes were still filled with tears and it looked like he and Puck had a competition going on who could squeeze the tightest.

"Yeah, tell me about it - it's only been like 4 years since I was throwing you into dumpsters, and then I started to care about you. What's up with that, huh?" Puck said in a thick voice, and as they let go off each other Puck looked awkwardly down in the floor to hide the fact that he was tearing up too.

"Kurt, we need to go, or we'll miss our flight," said Blaine quietly. Kurt's face returned to his sad look again before he hurried to hug both Puck and Finn one more time. Blaine threw them both a fist bump before he let his fingers lock with Kurt's and they proceeded to walk to the gate of their plane.

At the beginning of the flight Kurt was constantly sitting on the edge of his seat. He kept looking out the window and then back to Blaine only to look out the window again, but eventually Blaine talked him into relaxing a little. He began to play with Blaine's fingers while Blaine was reading a paper but in time he got bored of that too.

After some time Blaine suggested that he could start drawing on some of the designs he had packed so he did.

The little girl in the seat next to them was just as restless as Kurt had been so he offered her to join him in drawing. She was very impressed with his drawing skills, and Blaine couldn't help feel a sting of affection to see how good Kurt was acting with the little girl.

Blaine had never thought about it before but for the first time he realized that he might want a real family with Kurt some day. _If not_…

When they had only an hour left of the flight Kurt moved back to his own seat. He said that he was too excited to think clearly, so he just sat looking out the window while holding Blaine's hand, and when they started seeing the outline of Las Vegas he turned anxiously in his seat to make sure that Blaine was seeing it too. His entire face was glowing from anticipation and his fingers were squeezing Blaine's so hard that his knuckles turned white.

As soon as they got out of the airport they got a cab to get them to the hotel.

Kurt was staring out the window taking in the sight of the city for the ride and once they reached the hotel he didn't even want to enter. He wanted to go out into the city at once, and when Blaine said that they had to check in Kurt frowned and followed in silence.

His silence didn't last long, because as soon as they locked themselves into their room he let go of his suitcase and attacked the bed. He kicked off his shoes and stood up in the bed starting to jump. Blaine just stood there looking at him, listening to his giggling and squealing until Kurt suddenly stopped and just looked down at him.

"What's up? Everything okay?" asked Blaine, careful not to sound too over concerned but still keeping his guards up just in case.

Kurt didn't reply he just moved to the edge of the mattress where he grabbed around Blaine's wrist trying to get him onto the bed too.

"No Kurt. No - I'm no good with that. You know that," laughed he making Kurt do his big begging eyes that Blaine considered as cheating because they always won the battle.

Blaine rolled his eyes at him, took a look around the room before he kicked off his shoes and crawled up next to Kurt where they both started jumping.

When they had jumped so much that neither of them could catch their breath anymore they dumped down in free fall. The bed was so big that they could easily fall down without fearing to miss.

Kurt fell down to his back and Blaine lay on his stomach so he could rest his chin on Kurt's chest while they still heaved for air.

"I could get used to this," exclaimed Kurt as soon as he had enough air for talking. Blaine just smiled at him and shifted his head so that he could hear Kurt's heart pounding violently in his chest under him.

When Blaine woke up it was late afternoon. The room was hot and he could feel his t-shirt stick to his chest when he sat up. Kurt was still asleep so he grabbed his cellphone and tiptoed to the bathroom so he could call Finn. He had promised that as soon as they were in the hotel he would call so Finn would know when he could tell Burt where they were.

"Hey Finn. I am so sorry. We got to the hotel and then we fell asleep. But we are here now and everything is cool. Actually - it's more than cool. This place is sweet. But uhm - Kurt is still asleep, so I'm gonna go back so he don't wake up thinking that he's alone. Will you let me know how it went when you've told Burt?" Finn promised, but Blaine could hear in his voice that now it was so close the idea didn't really seem that appealing anymore.

He couldn't blame him though - the thought of a fight with Burt did seem pretty scary.

Kurt still hadn't woke up when Blaine got back so he decided to let him sleep while he checked that he had everything under control. As much as he had promised himself, and Kurt, that he wouldn't worry on the trip he couldn't stop thinking that he might have forgot something very important - like pills or something like that.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asked dozily from the bed. Blaine was completely taken by surprise and dropped the pill glasses down in the suitcase before he smiled at himself and walked over to sit at the side of the bed where Kurt was curled up like a sleeping cat.

"Are we gonna do something tonight? Cause I feel dirty after 4 hours on a plane," whimpered Kurt. Blaine noticed how great he looked - he would never have guessed that he was sick. He looked like any other boy escaping the real world with his boyfriend.

Blaine fell down to lie next to him doing his best to hold his eyes locked. Every time Kurt blinked it was like his eyes changed shade. Sometimes they were green, other times they were blue - sometimes they were a mix, and it happened that they had a tint of brown in them too. They truly had to be the most amazing eyes ever.

"If you don't wanna go out and do something it's fine. We can stay here, order some dinner and do nothing - then we can go out in the city tomorrow. How does that sound?" asked Blaine, still struggling not to blink but had to give in when his eyes got so dry that they started to itch.

Kurt shifted to lie on his chest so that their noses almost touch and the light made his eyes look like they had a touch of pink in them.

"I think that sounds like an excellent plan, sir. Are you up for it? Do you think you can handle it?" Kurt winked teasingly at him, letting his eyes flicker between Blaine's to see if he could predict his reaction.

"If I can handle what, young fellow?" asked Blaine in same tone as Kurt, and he could feel that Kurt had some master plan behind this game.

"If you can handle me, of course -" replied Kurt in a "_duh_!" tone. Like Blaine should have seen that coming.

"I am pretty sure I can handle you. I've done it before haven't I?" Blaine teased before he stuck out his tongue to let it meet the tip of Kurt's nose.

It was like time froze for a split second before Kurt flew up to force Blaine around so he could sit on his hips holding his wrists to the bed.

"So you can handle me, huh?" said Kurt in a triumphant tone, but got interrupted by his cellphone ringing.

"Let's just let it ring. Please Blaine. I don't wanna have cellphones ruining everything now that we're here," begged Kurt, his mood threatening to drop drastically.

"I'm sorry. We have to take it. I asked Finn to tell us how it went once he'd told your dad," explained Blaine. He really didn't want cellphones distracting them either, but he knew that they had to answer it and Kurt could see that he was serious so he took his phone out of his pocket and looked at the display - and turned white.

"It's my dad. Shit. He's probably pissed." Kurt winced and stared at the display until the phone stopped ringing and filled the room with silence. It only lasted for a few seconds before the silence was broken by the phone starting to ring over again.

"Answer it, Kurt. You have to let him know that you're okay," said Blaine in a soft voice. He didn't want to pressure him into a possible fight with his dad, but he still thought that it was the least they could do. After all they had ran off in the middle of the night without a word. Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine, bit his lower lip and pressed the green button.

"Hey dad," he greeted halfheartedly with a scared look on his face. Blaine started to get up from the bed, but Kurt just placed a palm on his chest and pushed him back down.

Blaine could hear Burt yelling at the other end of the phone, and he closed his eyes because he felt that he was invading their privacy.

After a few minutes of listening to the yelling from the other end of the phone Blaine felt Kurt move to sit on the bed instead of on top of Blaine.

When Blaine opened his eyes to see how he was doing Kurt was sitting at the edge of the bed with his back on Blaine. He hadn't said a word during the entire phonecall and Blaine was starting to feel that he should do something.

"Stop yelling, dad. We're okay. Blaine's thought everything through and I've got everything I need with me. Please, let me just have some fun for once. Nothing's gonna happen," Kurt practically whispered. His voice almost drowned in the sound of Burt from the other end of the phone.

"Dad. Shut up for a second, would you?" Kurt screamed suddenly out of nowhere and Blaine closed his eyes again. The uncomfortable feeling of eavesdropping crept back in over him as he could feel Kurt's desperation fill the room and Burt abruptly go silent home in Lima.

"We've got it all covered. As Finn told you. If something should happen we'll call you; but nothing is gonna happen. I am fine, dad. You heard what the doctors said the other day; _I am fine_!" Kurt's voice threatened to break but he didn't let it. He kept his head high listening to whatever Burt was saying, apparently now in a normal volume.

"Please trust me for once. I just need this. I _really_ need it. - Thank you, dad. I love you too." Blaine could hear that Kurt was crying, but he was guessing that he didn't want him to know so he stayed still, until he reached the phone around for Blaine to take it.

Blaine looked at the phone as if it was poisoned, before he swallowed and took it.

"Yes?" Blaine sat up when he put the receiver to his ear, he wasn't prepared for this conversation at all, but he manned up and let it happen. When he had started planning the trip he had known that it would come sooner or later.

"_Hey kid. I - do understand that you did this for Kurt. That you just wanted to take his mind off things. But I really hope that you understand that this wasn't the way to do it. That this is completely irresponsible. I really hadn't expected something like this from you, Blaine_." Burt paused and left Blaine speechless. He felt so incredibly guilty.

"_How do you think it feels to wake up and find his bed empty getting the message that you two have gone to the other end of the country without as much as a text_?" That was the most horrible part. He wasn't yelling, he wasn't screaming; he was talking calmly but his voice dripped from disappointment. Not the kind of disappointment Blaine always met in his own father - the kind of disappointment you would hear if you had broken someone's trust; which was exactly what he had done.

"I am so sorry -" Blaine started apologizing. He wanted to do everything he could to not have Burt ever talk that way to him again. Burt had become the father he had always looked for in his own, and he couldn't stand the disappointment. But before he could finish Burt stopped him, his tone completely different.

"_Blaine. Stop for a second and let me finish. As I said; I know that you've done this for Kurt, and there's nothing to do 'bout it now that you're there. So just have fun and keep your phones close. And promise me if anything happens you'll let me know immediately. And promise to make sure that we hear from you at least once a day to know that you're doing okay,_" said Burt in a much more calm voice, almost appreciative.

"Thanks, Burt. I promise; I am not gonna let anything happen to Kurt. At all," Blaine assured him feeling a stone drop from his chest in relief.

"_I know that, son. Just take care of each other. I love you both, okay_."

And then the conversation was over. They told each other goodbye and hung up.

Blaine put the phone on the bed and looked at Kurt. He was still sitting with his back to Blaine completely motionless, only movements was those from his breathing.

"Hey. Are you okay?" It was an idiotic question. Of course he wasn't okay, but what else could he say to break the silence? He needed Kurt to talk to him, and he knew him well enough to know that he was never going to say anything if Blaine didn't ask.

"He just yelled at me. Kept screaming how disappointed he was, and how irresponsible and irrational it was of us to just run away like this. He said that - that I was being childish and that he had expected a more mature behavior from us." Kurt still didn't look at Blaine so he decided to crawl over to sit next to him at the edge of the bed.

"I know, baby. He said those things to me too - but try to put yourself in his shoes; he's just afraid that something's gonna happen to you. He just needs to calm down. I promised him that we're gonna call in every day to let them know that we're doing fine and that we'll keep our phones close. I don't think they're gonna interrupt us anymore." Blaine put his arm around Kurt so he could let his head drop down on Blaine's shoulder. All Blaine wanted right now was to get Kurt's mood back up, but he knew that there was something he had to do first.

"Listen, I think I better call my mom. Just - you know, to let her know where I am and such. We might as well get all the parent-problems over with as fast as possible so it's not gonna be an issue later." Blaine got his phone out of his pocket and stared at the display a second before he took a deep breath and dialed the number.

"Hey mom. Yeah, it's me. Uhm - there's something I gotta tell you. But please don't freak out. It's not as bad as it sounds." He inhaled and waited for her response before he took the chance on exhaling.

"Well, Kurt and I - we're sort of in Vegas. Please hear me out before freaking out - I've got it all under control. Everything is fine and we've made all precautions. Please don't tell dad. Can't you just tell him that I'm at Kurt's place?" He waited nervously for a reply, when his mom responded, that feeling vanished, he was in rage.

"Come on, mom. You know that he's gonna go crazy and blame Kurt. But it's not Kurt's fault. He didn't even know until we were at the airport. Please. -Okay then. Yes, I'll send it to you. I love you too, mom. Bye." He hung up and threw the phone behind them, his face dark.

Kurt gazed in concern at him. He wasn't crying anymore, but the dried trails of his tears were glistening on his cheeks. It was almost so dark in the room that they couldn't see each other, but Blaine could still sense Kurt's features and the details of his complexion.

"She got a little bit mad. Just a bit. She's gonna tell my dad, and he's the one who's gonna be real pissed. He's probably gonna call me up and tell me what a horrible son I am. Then he's gonna start blaming you, even though I told her that you had nothing to do with this; that this was all my idea. Anyway, I promised her to send her your parents' and your number - just in case." He let out a heavy breath before he fell back down on the bed letting the mattress bounce under his landing weight.

Kurt sat and stared out of the window for a bit before he lay down next to Blaine, curling up against him. His movements were so graceful and soundless that Blaine knew he wouldn't have realized that Kurt had come down if Blaine's eyes hadn't been open. The room was completely silent, except for the sound from their breathing and the life down on the streets under them.

"This sucks. Seriously," Kurt almost jumped up to sit on his knees looking down at Blaine.

"Finally we're out doing something for our own sake, and still our stupid parents find a way to bring us down. It's not fair!" He sounded angry, and he could just as well have folded his arms and stomped his feet; but instead he threw his arms up in the air in a dramatic pose.

"Screw them! I say we're gonna dedicate this week to do all the things our parents warned us against," Kurt announced with a serious look on his face.

Blaine's eyes had started to get used to the dark, and he didn't doubt for a second that Kurt meant every word he said.

"We'll stay in tonight and be lazy as hell, because I am so tired - and then tomorrow we'll go out and explore the city and do all the stuff we've always dreamed about doing." Kurt crawled off the bed and strut across the floor. He turned on the light making Blaine squint at the sudden shock of light while Kurt walked to his suitcase.

Kurt put on his pajamas and jumped on to the bed as if it had been a trampoline making Blaine feel like he rose several inches in the air. Kurt kept on jumping for a bit until Blaine finally sat up.

"Okay. I think we should do that. Screw parents. We don't need them. We've got each other!" Blaine chuckled a bit under his breath at how lame he thought he sounded but Kurt just smiled victoriously and leaned in to kiss him.

"That's the spirit," Kurt responded and pushed Blaine down on the floor where he ended up flat on his back laughing without really knowing why.

They spent a full half hour going through the room service menu but it all sounded so fancy that they didn't dare ordering any of it. So after long times discussing back and forth they ended up getting the reception to give them a number for some place to order a pizza they could eat in bed while watching TV and then they fell asleep with the in front of the screen curled up around each other.


	9. Chapter 9

When Blaine woke up, there were black and white reruns were rolling over the television screen. He rolled over to find Kurt no longer lying beside him. Blaine very confused scanned the dark room before realizing that the balcony door was cracked open and he could spy Kurt sitting outside, a blanket wrapped around him. Blaine slid out of bed, walking out to Kurt rubbing his eyes from the sleep.

"What are you doing out here?" Blaine asked, having to kill a yawn as he sat down.

Kurt stretched out an arm, making more room for Blaine to sit down. As Blaine did so Kurt wrapped a blanket-covered arm around him.

"Isn't it beautiful? Look at all the lights and skyscrapers. It's amazing! There's so many colors and sounds - and even though it's the city you can still see the stars. Look!" Kurt pointed to the sky that was completely black except for a few widely spread dots of light.

"In New York it's impossible to see the stars. When we were there for Nationals our junior year of high school we didn't go out at night, but I wanted so bad to see the stars on the New York skyline," he paused.

"So when I went there to visit Rachel last year we sat on the stairs on Times Square one night and the stars were completely gone. There were only the lights from the city and everything above us was completely black," Kurt said with a nostalgic look in his eyes.

Kurt hadn't noticed, but as soon as he had started talking Blaine had stopped looking at the sky and started looking at him instead.

There was something special about Kurt when he talked with this passion. It was the same when he talked about Broadway - it was like he had been hibernated for years and suddenly he had been brought back to life with a newly found energy for love. That was one of the things Blaine had fallen in love with; Kurt's passion.

"What are you looking at?" asked Kurt pretending to feel victimized when he noticed that Blaine was staring at him.

"Nothing. Just - you," was all he had to say. He just really wanted to take in every second of their being together and memorize so it would never disappear, but he hurried to direct his attention back to the roaring night city under them

"I don't think I've ever been to a place this beautiful before," Blaine said in an attempt to take the attention away from him, it didn't help.

"I have. Every day. Each morning when I wake up and look at you. When we get coffee together. When we sing together. When we dance together. When we laugh together. Whatever. Whenever I'm with you; that's the most beautiful place I have ever been," said Kurt without blinking, completely sweeping Blaine off his feet.

Blaine looked at him, speechless. No matter what he said from there on out he could never respond to that because whatever would have come out of his mouth it would never be enough compared to that.

"Blaine Anderson. Will you marry me?" asked Kurt. He reached down and let his fingers slide in between Blaine's. Without them looking at each other Blaine silently said "_yes_" still gazing out at the neon signs blinking like they were competing with the stars above them.

They continued to sit in silence holding each other's hands, being close under the blanket as they felt the night wind brush against their skin.

None of them said anything for a long time until Kurt suddenly stood up, shifting so fast that Blaine almost fell off the bench in shock.

"I have an idea. Do you trust me?" Kurt reached down his hand for Blaine to take it to stand up.

"Yes. Yes I do," Blaine responded, giving Kurt his hand without any second thoughts at all and let Kurt lead him inside the room where he dropped the blanket on the bed and turned to face Blaine.

"Come. We're going out," Kurt beamed at him and threw him his jacket before he started putting on his own coat.

"But Kurt, we're in our pajamas, we can't go out like this," Blaine objected still standing with his jacket in his hand, looking confused at Kurt who had already put on his own coat and was ready by the door.

"So what? We're in Vegas. No one is gonna think us strange to walk down the streets in our pajamas. Let's go." Kurt opened the door and positioned to wait for Blaine to get ready. Blaine noticed that he wasn't wearing shoes or socks either, so he shrugged and put on his jacket to follow his crazy boyfriend out into the Vegas night.

"Kurt. Where are we going? Aren't you cold?" Blaine asked as he followed Kurt down the street. Kurt turned on his heel smiling teasingly at him, still walking ahead of him before he turned to proceed through the people filling up the sidewalk.

There were so many colors and lights that it was hard to even tell if it was day or night. It was like the entire universe had met up here and blurred into one big mass of everything mixed together; everybody looked like a mix of too young or too old and it was impossible to determine whether people were on their way to work or to a party or if they were plain eccentrics by nature. Blaine even had a hard time figuring out whether people were men or women.

"Isn't it exciting?" Kurt beamed almost jumping up and down next to Blaine as they nearly had to balance their way through the crowded square. Blaine observed as his eyes ate up everything they saw; like they had been starving for years and finally got fed.

They passed big beautiful hotels, fancy casinos, replicas of known landmarks from other parts of the world and dirty looking clubs with neon signs showing half naked girls with blinking nipples.

Every time they saw something new Kurt turned looking one extra time to make sure he had seen it properly - as if he tried to store it in his memory so he could drag it out when he got old and had nothing but the memories left.

Suddenly he stopped abruptly in the middle of the crowded street. People kept on walking past them as if nothing had happened, but Kurt was so excited that he was tripping on the spot on tiptoes. Blaine tried looking around to see what he had seen that could possibly have put him on the edge like this, but he couldn't see anything so he returned his attention to Kurt right at the moment where Kurt dragged him over to a lamppost.

"What's up? What did you see?" Blaine asked confused. He still tried looking around, but all he could see that they hadn't passed earlier was a tiny concrete pyramid, a palm tree and a group of lightly dressed people where half of them were women and the rest were a mix of obviously men and undetermined sex.

"Don't ask. Just stay here for a second and I'll hurry back." Kurt sent him a clearly meant to be assuring smile, before he disappeared between the pedestrians, leaving Blaine by the lamppost feeling a bit uneasy about letting Kurt out of sight even if it was for just a few minutes.

As Blaine continued to stand there, he suddenly grew very aware of the fact that he was in his pajamas, he quickly maneuvered his jacket so that it wrapped tightly around his chest, covering at least the top half. All the while, he observed the people walking past him; he had never in his life seen so many sequins and feathers and plateau boots. After a while he caught himself grinning at the fact that he didn't have a single doubt that Kurt wouldn't even blink before saying yes to doing an act like this, and would still be able to keep up his look as the sexiest guy in the world.

He didn't get to start picturing it though, because Kurt took his hand with a secretive giggle, dragging him out of his fantasy.

"Where did you go?" Blaine asked when Kurt suddenly led him in another direction than the one they had been headed in before.

"I'm not gonna tell you, Blaine. You'll find out soon enough," Kurt lilted, as they crossed a square where a huge fountain illustrating characters from Greek mythology towered almost as tall as some of the average sized buildings.

He should have known by now that Kurt's new idea of fun was to keep secrets from him so he could be surprised when he thought it would be the best time to drop a bomb, so Blaine played along and stopped wondering. Whatever his new plan was Blaine probably wouldn't be able to guess what it anyway.

Finally Kurt stopped and turned to look at Blaine with shining eyes, he looked as if he was going to explode. Blaine almost didn't have heart to tell him that he had no idea what he was fussing over, when he suddenly saw where Kurt had stopped in front of.

They had stopped in front of a chapel. An old time cliché Las Vegas chapel. Complete with Elvis Presley'esque design and horrible Cupid caricatures on the façade of the building. A big sign was hanging over the entrance with big red letters that read '_Are you lonesome tonight? Then follow that dream and make her wear your ring around her neck so you can kiss her quick. It's now or never.'_

Blaine had to stop himself from laughing at the awful way they had messed with the song titles for profit, but then it hit him why Kurt had brought him there and he felt ice drop to his stomach. He looked at Kurt who still had stars in his eyes but the grin on his face was starting to stiff as he observe the look on Blaine's face.

"Are you sure about this, Kurt? Do you really wanna do this?" Blaine grabbed his hand and led him over to a corner away from the crowds.

"I mean - you're such a romantic, and - I just always pictured you to be the person who wanted a big gorgeous wedding with all of your friends and family present. Not in a dirty little Vegas chapel with bad singers and wearing your pajamas." Blaine looked down to see their hands folded together as one before he looked back to Kurt.

"You really thought about that? Like - me? In wedding relations? Like - like us? Getting married?" asked Kurt hesitantly. He sounded surprised and yet it was like he considered it natural. Like that was the way it was supposed to be.

"Yes. Of course I have. When I say that I wanna spend my life with you I mean it. And as I am a hopeless romantic too that includes marriage and family - and how could you ever have that without a wedding of some sort?" Blaine closed his eyes as if it would hide that he was blushing, but he knew that Kurt wouldn't judge him for it, so he opened his eyes again to see Kurt grinning like he had just won a day on a Broadway stage without anyone else.

"I am sure about this. I want all of those things - a big wedding with my family and my friends. But they all know that I love you, I don't have to prove that to them. Besides; we can always do that later. Right now I just wanna do this with you. Private. Just us. It's gonna be fun and original, and when we look back on this it's gonna be the most romantic, and possibly the most spontaneous, thing we've ever done - but I don't wanna push you into it if you'd rather wait. I just want you," said Kurt doing his best to let his eyes assure Blaine that he meant it.

"No. No, let's do it. Let's go in there and get married. And when we get home we're gonna tell everybody that Elvis married us, and that it was the most amazing thing in the world!" Blaine didn't even get to finish his sentence, before Kurt threw his arms around his neck and planted a kiss on his lips that made all the ice in Blaine's stomach melt like cotton candy.

When they entered the chapel they got into a small foyer where everything was draped in red velvet, and a woman dressed to look like Barbra Streisand was sitting behind a golden desk with a tiny laptop in front of her.

They got up and showed their IDs and signed some papers before the woman showed them to a waiting room where a small group of other people were sitting on golden painted chairs matching the desk from the reception. When they entered everyone looked at them but quickly returned to their respective partners.

Blaine and Kurt found a couple of chairs against the wall where they sat to wait.

After they had sat for what felt like ages avoiding each other's gaze to not burst into a giggle or blush the last couple finally got called in and everything suddenly seemed very real and close. They were actually going through with this.

"How are you feeling?" asked Kurt, his eyes locked on the wallpaper that was light pink with rose peddles painted to look like they were falling from the sky.

"I don't know. Weird, I guess. How about you?" Blaine continued to look down in the carpet as he waited for Kurt to respond.

"A little weird too, I think. But not in a bad way. It's definitely a good weird." He hurried to add the last part, like he was scared that Blaine would think that he was about to back out.

The door opened and a tall man who was trying a rather bad impersonation of Cher called them in.

They stared at each other in a "_this is it_" kind of way before they got up and followed the man into the actual chapel.

They got led up to the altar where they found themselves waiting for a couple of minutes. Everything looked like it was taken directly from a distasteful B-movie and Blaine had to remind himself that the reason places like these kept going was because people usually were drunk when they ended up here.

A door next to the altar opened, and a huge man in an Elvis circa Aloha From Hawaii-costume entered the chapel with a smirk on his face.

He was wearing huge gold rings that Blaine could presume were fake, and his natural gray hair was sticking out under his wig. All in all he looked like an extreme mix of tragic and comical. Blaine and Kurt had to avoid eye-contact not to burst out laughing, but they had a hard time finding out where to look because "_Cher_" was sitting in the front row with a champagne bottle and a cupid plushy in his lap.

"_Elvis_" started the traditional procedure in a thick put-on Tennessee accent, and Kurt took a discrete step closer to Blaine so they could lock the tips of their fingers with an innocent smile, and almost forgot to listen to the part where they were to say something themselves.

When "_Elvis_" got to the part with the vows he looked at them as if he was waiting for them to say something personal and they were completely taken aback by the sudden request for them to take action.

Kurt was the one to clear his throat and force Blaine to keep up eye contact.

"Blaine. I - I don't know what to say. There's so much to say, and yet I have no words at all. You make me speechless, and you know how hard that is because I really love the sound of my own voice." Kurt chuckled and bit his lower lip awkwardly before proceeding.

"I just love you, and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. No matter how long or short that may be. You are my teenage dream." Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking back to Blaine who was staring back at him with his mouth slightly open.

"Wow. That was - how am I supposed to say anything after that? I just - I just hope that you know that I wanna go through fire and ice for you. I'm not gonna leave your side. Ever. Remember what I told you once? How a warbler doesn't sing without its flock? You're my flock - I don't sing without you. I can't, and I don't want to." Blaine let his fingers run down so he could squeeze his hands properly around Kurt's before he heard Kurt sniffing and saw him wipe a tear from his cheek.

"_Elvis_" cleared his throat impatiently and they remembered that they weren't alone. The big man proceeded the ceremony in the same tone as he had begun.

"Oh no. We don't have any rings," whined Blaine when "_Elvis_" asked them to find out the rings, but Kurt just smiled triumphantly at him.

"Do you seriously think I was gonna get married without rings? Please -" Kurt dug into the pocket of his pajama pants and opened his hand to reveal two rainbow colored plastic rings with yellow smiley faces on.

"It was all I could get at the tourist shop - but I thought they were the best appropriate considering that most of the other ones were covered in genitals," Kurt apologized with a disgusted face as he remembered back at the ring selection at the shop.

They continued the ceremony, and as soon as they had put the rings on each other's fingers "_Elvis_" declared them husband and husband and said that they could kiss "_or whatever it is that you kids do these days_" and left the chapel.

"_Cher_" hurried over to them with a congratulations card, the bottle of champagne and the tacky cupid plushy before he made an offer to take a picture of the happy couple.

They tried desperately staying serious but when they couldn't stop laughing they ended up getting a picture as they continued on laughing uncontrollably.

When they walked hand in hand down the aisle the speakers started playing _Can't Help Falling In Love_ and they agreed that they couldn't get out fast enough. When they returned to the foyer Kurt declared that he wanted a picture with "_Barbra_" and jumped onto the desk making an overacted pose so Blaine could take a picture with his phone that Kurt hurried to send to Rachel.

The entire walk back to their hotel neither of them said anything, but they didn't let go of each other's hands for a second. Both of them were tired but didn't want the night to end. It was too memorable to let it slip away so quickly, it was nights like these that Blaine wished he could record and relive over and over again.

When they got back to the hotel room Kurt took off his coat and let it drop to the floor before he when out to the balcony, where Blaine came out to wrap his arms around him from behind. Kurt let his hand over Blaine's to let their rings lie next to each other so he could see how well they seamlessly fit together, no matter how hideous.

Then Kurt turned around to let his lips softly meet Blaine's and suddenly it was as if the atmosphere changed. They let the lips slowly massage each other before Kurt let his drift apart just enough to welcome Blaine's tongue letting it meet his own.

Blaine didn't feel cold anymore, so he let Kurt take off his jacket and throw it on the balcony floor under them, before he let his hands run up Blaine's back under his t-shirt while Blaine let his fingers run through Kurt's hair.

Blaine could feel his pulse speeding and he felt Kurt's heart race against his own chest through the few layers of fabric that separated their skin. Suddenly those layers felt horribly uncomfortable and it wasn't even funny. It was like a suit of armor between them, an obstacle that had to be beat.

Kurt let his hands down to Blaine's hips as he walked backwards over the small balcony where he forced Blaine to walk with him, their lips still locked together.

As soon as he felt that they had reached the wall he started letting his hands down Blaine's pants to grab around his ass making Blaine do a weak gasp.

"Out here? Really?" Blaine asked heavy breath escaping between kisses finding the idea incredibly tempting.

"It's our wedding night. Why shouldn't we? Husband?" whispered Kurt with a smile against Blaine's lips.

Kurt pulled Blaine's pelvis closer to show him just how much he meant it before he started opening the strings on Blaine's pants and then proceeding to his own.

Blaine paused their kiss for a brief second before he decided that it he might not see how to make it work, but he was willing to give it a try.

Blaine started pulling down Kurt's pants, and it didn't take Kurt long until he had pulled Blaine's down too, letting him feel Kurt hard against his hip, making both of them go into the kiss more aggressively.

"But - I don't have - any condoms -" Blaine remembered and stopped Kurt with an apologetic look.

"That doesn't matter. It's not like you're gonna get me pregnant or the other way around - and we haven't been with anyone but each other, so we're not gonna get sick. Besides - I've heard it's way better without," Kurt flirted with dashing eyelashes. That was more than enough to make Blaine let his lips clasp back against Kurt's again almost hurting their teeth.

In a short epiphany Blaine realized how he was gonna make it work and lifted up Kurt to let his back support against the wall. Kurt quickly got his idea and wrapped his legs around Blaine's hips letting Blaine bend his knees shortly so he could enter Kurt slowly, even though it turned out that it was a bit harder without condom.

Kurt winced a bit from the pain but refused when Blaine offered to stop, and once Blaine was all the way in both of them let out a heavy breath. The first few seconds Blaine didn't dare move inside Kurt out of fear that he was going to hurt him, but once their kisses got heated back up he started slow movements with his hips, finding the support against the wall incredibly helpful.

As soon as they found the right rhythm it was way easier than Blaine had first thought it to be, and he was surprised at how warm and tight Kurt felt around him sending electricity all the way through his body with every tiny movement.

Blaine could feel the cool night wind against his naked legs, but on the inside he felt like flames were licking around his muscles.

He wanted to go faster and harder, but he was afraid that Kurt was gonna hurt from it so instead he kept it slow listening to Kurt's soft moaning following the rhythm of his thrusts.

He was surprised by how quickly he felt the well known tightening feeling in his balls, the more his head caress against Kurt's prostate and had to bite hard down on his lower lip, but realized it would soon be time.

"Shit. I'm almost there," Blaine groaned into Kurt's ear as he felt the electric waves start floating for his crotch. Kurt's breathing made him lose focus and all he could think was that he didn't want the feeling to stop already.

"Stop. Blaine - stop," Kurt gasped. At first Blaine thought that he had done something wrong, but then he could feel that Kurt had a plan.

He slowly stopped moving and kneeled to let himself slide out of Kurt, letting both of them express a tender moan.

Kurt let his feet slowly touch the balcony floor under them before he started pushing Blaine backwards to the café table in the corner.

"Lay down on the table," Kurt heaved through a heated kiss, and Blaine knew exactly what was on his mind, so he sat on the table and proceeded to lie down.

The table felt like ice against his hot naked skin, but he knew that as soon as he felt Kurt it wouldn't matter. It would be forgotten.

He was right. Kurt bent down to kiss his collarbone, their dicks hard against each other, before he stood up straight.

Then he grabbed around Blaine's knees dragging them up so Blaine could lock his legs around Kurt's hips.

Kurt then let two finger tips slowly slide over Blaine's lower lip before he abruptly forced them into Blaine's mouth, letting his tongue glide around them, making them wet down to the knuckles.

He took his left hand and let it slide down Blaine's thigh while he took his wet fingers and let them run up and down between Blaine's cheeks before letting one slide in, making Blaine throw out a silent sigh.

Then he let his finger thrust carefully in and out a few times before letting the second finger in to Blaine's surprise.

After working his fingers in and out of Blaine for a bit Kurt pulled them out and let the hand run from Blaine's ass up his thigh before Kurt let his hand down to grab around his cock to start slowly, but firmly, entering Blaine.

As soon as Kurt was sure that Blaine wasn't going to hurt too much he thrust himself hard to go in all the way.

Blaine could feel Kurt slowly thrust his hips against his ass, feeling Kurt inside him going rhythmically in and out, while Kurt's hands were clasping around his knees it made Blaine wish that he would bend down so he could feel him closer. But he was afraid that if he did he would have to stop moving.

With every thrust Blaine felt himself tighten a little more around Kurt's cock, sending vibes out through his skin making it feel like it was about to burst open. Blaine had to grab around the edges of the table as Kurt's thrust almost made his sweaty back slide across the table.

Kurt's gasps made it tingle even more in the back of Blaine's throat, making him moan and groan with a feeling of a pressure against his chest and his heart racing.

"Shit, Kurt. Fuck me, keep on fucking me," begged Blaine, surprised by his own words. The sensation running from Kurt was just too good and he wanted more.

Kurt leaned down and placed his hands on the table on each side of Blaine's head, making their faces come within a few inches from each other.

Blaine saw this as an opportunity and raised his shoulders a bit from the table to let his hands flat on Kurt's back, making their faces now only an breath apart.

"Don't stop, Kurt. Let me feel you. Come inside me," Blaine whimpered, making Kurt thrust in harder, causing Blaine's moaning to become even more high pitched and his finger tips digging into the delicate skin on Kurt's back.

Blaine stretched out his neck to bite Kurt's lower lip with a smile, before Kurt let his weight lean on his left arm as he let his right hand down to grab around Blaine's dick. He was so hard now that he was afraid that a brief touch from Kurt would make him explode, but he didn't.

As Kurt started swiping up and down around him, Blaine almost screamed from the feeling and thought of Kurt holding around him whilst being inside him. It was too much. It was too good.

And then it happened; he was certain that he had never tightened so hard, and that he had never felt an orgasm like the one floating through his head, covering his stomach and Kurt's fingers in the warm drops shooting through the shaft and then running down it.

"I'm almost there," heaved Kurt frantically, as if he was afraid that Blaine would ask him to stop.

"Don't stop now. Keep going in me," groaned Blaine, and Kurt's left elbow bent making him have to let his right hand support him against the table too.

He started thrusting faster and faster before letting the thrusts slow down but simultaneously get harder before he eventually let in one long hard thrust, making him bend all down over Blaine, letting out a sound that was a mix of "_Fuck yes Blaine_" and screams and moans, leaving him heaving for air.

Blaine was lying back flat down on the table, and he could feel Kurt's lips almost touching his chest and his steamy hot breath moisten his already sweaty chest before Kurt fell down letting his cheek clasp to Blaine's solar plexus, gasping for oxygen, his dick still inside Blaine without caring.

Blaine looked at the stars above them, smiling, before he let his right hand up to caress Kurt's back, and his left hand stroking his damp hair.

He closed his eyes, letting the night wind cool his skin down while he tried to comprehend what they had just done. He could feel a grin spread across Kurt's face against his ribs, and he felt a wave of happiness run through his body.

"When did we become so gutsy?" chuckled Blaine, only then realizing how sore his throat had become. His voice sounded rasp when he spoke and he felt like he was dry from his entire mouth all the way to his stomach.

"I don't know. But I like it." Kurt lifted himself from Blaine's body making Blaine see the exhausted expression on his face.

"Oh baby. Are you tired? Do you wanna go to bed?" Blaine lifted himself from the table on his elbows to get a better view of Kurt's face.

"I was actually thinking to take a shower before going to bed," Kurt responded. Then he bit his lower lip and let his eyes flicker to Blaine's stomach before he tiptoed to slip himself out of Blaine, making both of them moan heavily.

Blaine closed his eyes expecting Kurt to leave the balcony to head for the bathroom, but when he opened his eyes again Kurt was still standing there looking at him.

"Uhm, I was thinking - do you wanna maybe join me? For a shower?" Kurt locked his eyes on Blaine as if to let him know that he was serious. Like he needed him to say yes.

"Of course I wanna join you," said Blaine, forcing himself to sit up, seeing how their clothes had spread all over the place.

He let his feet touch the floor, feeling the coldness of the balcony run through his legs like nails in his blood. Kurt stretched out his arm carefully to fold his hand in Blaine's so he could lead him to the bathroom.

Kurt folded his arms across his chest letting the hot water run down over him. Blaine couldn't stop himself from seeing how much this pose made Kurt resemble a scared little boy, so he wrapped his arms around his shoulders, dragging him close so Kurt could rest his head on Blaine's collarbone. They stood in the shower holding each other, letting the hot water pour down over them without holding any track of time.

Blaine started remembering his train of thoughts about the hot water at home, wishing that maybe if the hot water at home could clean Blaine of all worries, then maybe this water could rinse Kurt free of the cancer. Magically make it disappear.

If only he wished it badly enough then maybe it could actually happen. Or maybe he had to tell Kurt about it; two wishes had to be stronger than one.

But he couldn't. He opened his mouth to tell Kurt about the water, but after having stood there with water running into his mouth and out again for a bit he closed it again. He couldn't let the words roll over his lips, instead he felt tears run from his eyes mixing with the water.

Blaine had to bite his lips together to not start sobbing. He couldn't let Kurt know that he was crying. Kurt had way too much on his mind, and it was Blaine's job to stay strong for him - not the other way around.

He tightened his grip around Kurt's shoulders, letting his right hand up to caress his neck, hoping that Kurt could feel his affection through his embrace. What would he ever do if Kurt didn't know just exactly how much he loved him? He needed to know.

"Kurt. I love you. Do you understand that? I fucking love you, okay. I can't imagine my life without you. I want it all with you - marriage, house, kids; even throw in a freaking dog if you want. I just want it; everything. With you." Blaine's voice threatened to break but he had stopped caring. He had no idea how he could even begin to show Kurt how much he loved him, so he decided that he had to start with telling him.

"I love you too, Blaine." Kurt's voice was almost inaudible through the running water, but his lips were just beside Blaine's ear; making Blaine doubt if he had heard his words or just felt them.

Kurt didn't move. He just stood there with his arms folded across his chest letting Blaine hold him, while Blaine could feel his eyelashes blinking against his shoulder.

Blaine started to imagine that Kurt had turned to stone, and the only thing keeping him human inside the stone shell was Blaine's arms around him.

"Let's go to bed," whimpered Kurt, and without looking at Blaine he left the shower; leaving Blaine to stand under the pouring water by himself looking at Kurt's naked silhouette through the shower curtain.

When Blaine had turned off the water and stepped out of the shower he saw that Kurt hadn't started drying himself. He stood in the middle of the bathroom, naked, letting the water drip on the floor.

Blaine stood looking at him for a brief second before he grabbed a towel and walked over to wrap it around Kurt.

Kurt just looked at him under his wet eyelashes looking more exhausted than he had in a really long time.

"Thank you," Kurt said in a weak voice before he leaned in to kiss Blaine's nose and opened his arms to let the towel wrap around Blaine too.

"You are tired, honey. We should get dried up and get some sleep," Blaine said under his breath, resting his cheek against Kurt's.

Kurt nodded and let out Blaine so he could get a towel for himself so they could get back to the bedroom.

Blaine walked over to his suitcase to find some clothes, but Kurt tripped over letting a hand out of the towel to stop him.

"No. Let's sleep naked. I just wanna be as close to you as possible right now," Kurt said quietly through the semi-darkness of the room, a begging in his eyes.

A smile spread across Blaine's face as he let up a hand onto Kurt's cheek.

"Yeah. Let's do that. That sounds nice." Blaine put his hand on the lower of Kurt's back and led him to the bed where they both let their towels drop and crawled under the covers. Kurt hurried to lie flat on his back letting Blaine put his head on the hollow spot between his chest and his shoulder so Kurt could fold his arms around him and let his fingers slowly run through the damp curls.

"Blaine. I want all of those things too. With you." Kurt's voice was a whisper in the dark room, as if he was afraid they were being watched.

"I know, Kurt. I know. And that's how it's gonna be," Blaine assured him, praying to god that he sounded convincing, because he had to swallow a lump right after the words had escaped his lips.

"I think this has been the best wedding night in history," Blaine hurried to say to take Kurt's mind off the thought about the future. Blaine squeezed his grip around Kurt's waist just a bit as he felt Kurt kiss his hair, before Blaine shifted up to lie on the pillow next to Kurt so he could see his eyes.

"Me too. This has been amazing. We're in Vegas. We just got married. In Vegas - can you believe it?" Kurt beamed his eyes shining so much that Blaine imagined them to be tiny suns that would be able to light up half the city.

"And the sex. Shit, Anderson, what have I done to deserve your skills?" Kurt pushed him teasingly on the arm making Blaine blush now hoping that his eyes didn't light up that much after all.

"I know right. That balcony - we gotta get one of those at home. But your skills - you are just magic, Hummel." Blaine felt ridiculous that he was 19 years old, almost 20, and still blushed talking about sex.

_He didn't know why it had started. He had talked about sex with Kurt before without problems, but then they started dating and it wasn't just talking about sex anymore; it was talking about having sex _with _Kurt._

_Before Kurt he had never imagined himself having sex with anyone. But as soon as he and Kurt had started dating and they had started making out and it had got more and more heated every time they were alone he hadn't been able to stop thinking about how it would be to have sex with Kurt, but he hadn't dared telling him._

_He had started thinking about it in the shower, started imaging Kurt naked with him. Imagined how his lips tasted and how his hands felt, wondered how Kurt's naked chest would feel against his own until one day he couldn't stop himself from imagining how Kurt's hand would feel around his cock, or how it would to have Kurt inside him before he realized that he was leaning against the tiles jerking himself off whispering Kurt's name through the water streaming down over his face._

_That had been it. He had known that they had to discuss it no matter how awkward it would be. That was the first time he had ever blushed in a conversation about sex; when talking to Kurt about having sex together. After that he hadn't been able to stop his face from reddening every time._

_He knew that Kurt had noticed it. Especially because it had gone the complete opposite way with Kurt. He had been so distant about it, practically afraid of even thinking about it, but then once they had actually had sex the first time he gradually got more confident about it, and now he never blushed but was able to talk about it without second thoughts. _

"We are pretty perfect together," Blaine exclaimed with a chuckle, seeing Kurt nod slowly in agreement.

"Yeah. And uhm - the swearing, don't ever stop that, cause that's really sexy," Kurt commented, letting his eyes show exactly how much he meant it.

"Good, cause I'm not sure I'll be able to stop it," Blaine laughed, before he realized that it was around 5 in the morning.

"Sweetie, it's almost morning. Shouldn't we try and sleep a bit? So we aren't all that tired tomorrow," Blaine suggested softly, afraid that he was going to kill Kurt's mood.

"Yeah. You're right. I am completely drained of all energy. It's been a long night," Kurt whispered back letting his fingers run through Blaine's curls one more time.

"Goodnight husband." Kurt leaned in to let his lips meet Blaine's softly before he lay down and closed his eyes.

"Goodnight husband," Blaine whispered back, folding his arm around Kurt's waist, seeing Kurt smile even though he was about to sleep, before Blaine closed his eyes and went to sleep himself.


	10. Chapter 10

"Good morning! How did you sleep?" Kurt woke Blaine up placing a kiss on his closed eyelids and his voice high pitched and lilting.

Kurt was holding an arm around Blaine's waist, and his chin on Blaine's shoulder. Blaine could feel Kurt's eyelashes tickling his cheek and to his amusement he could feel that Kurt was still naked as well.

"Pretty good. How about you?" Blaine shifted to lie so they were face-to-face, but still close enough to feel each other. He loved the way he could feel Kurt's body heat spread to his own body, and he just wanted to lie under the covers wrapped around Kurt forever.

"I've slept like a baby. One of the good babies, though. Not one of those who screams and cries all the time." A wide grin spread across Kurt's face before he had to hide a yawn in the pillow under him.

"But I feel like my breath smells like feet," said Kurt, causing Blaine to grimace at him.

"It doesn't. It smells like meadows and butterfly dust - or something like that," he chuckled.

"But Jesus, my back is so sore, I have no idea what's happened." He winced before he saw the grin on Kurt's face.

"Sorry. It's gotta be the table. Or carrying me," said Kurt with a look of guilt on his face, but the satisfaction by the memory were shining through.

"Oh yeah, that table. That was really tough. But it was worth it, though -" he smiled warmly before he turned to lie on his back.

"I'm hungry. Are you hungry? I feel like I could eat a lion," Kurt whined.

"How about I call down to get some breakfast brought up, and then we can discuss what to do today?" Kurt was already sitting up in the bed trying to figure out where he could find some clothes, when Blaine grabbed him around the arm and forced him to lie back down.

"I don't think so. I think you should stay here with me, naked because I like you like that, and then we can discuss what to do today, and then we can go out to eat breakfast somewhere new." Blaine's eyes were big and filled with stars and he could feel Kurt's excitement by the suggestion.

"I like that, Anderson. You aren't bad this morning. Then what do you wanna do today?" Kurt asked, his negotiating expression plastered over his face.

Blaine took in the image of Kurt's anxious appearance, enjoying the atmosphere oozing around them in the bed.

"First of all, breakfast! Very important. And then I was thinking that I would drag myself with you out to shop. Or at least look. There's gotta be a lot of amazing stores that will make you go nuts. But there's also some places I wanna take you, places we need to see and experience. And I've got a surprise for you! But that's not for another three days, so we have to make the best of the next few days." Blaine silenced and watched as Kurt's brain started to run over all of the information Blaine had just given him.

Blaine watched as Kurt's eyes grew wide with sparkles. Blaine could see as he turned over his last words in his mind, trying to put together a list of places in Vegas to go and experience. He also observed as Kurt began squeezing his eyes shut trying to figure out what the possible surprise could be.

"Okay, I've got nothing. Are you gonna give me a clue?" Kurt opened his eyes and shot Blaine a sharp look, but Blaine just put on his best pokerface.

"If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" He touched Kurt's nose with his finger tip, before he rolled over to lie on top of him.

"I think we should get some clothes on. As much as people in Vegas are eccentric I don't really think they'd like it if we walked down the street naked. Or maybe we could wrap ourselves in sheets and pretend we're wearing togas. Of course they would be happy if you walked around naked, but then I would have to kill every single one of them for looking at you." Blaine grinned broadly at Kurt under him, before kissing him on the neck and jumping out of the bed.

Blaine stole the sheet Kurt had over him and wrapped it around himself instead and tiptoed across the floor to their suitcases. He found some clothes and started getting dressed with Kurt staring at him from the bed.

"What are you looking at?" Blaine asked embarrassed as he started zipping up his jeans.

"Nothing. Just enjoying the view," Kurt teased as he sat up to slide out of the bed and join Blaine at the suitcases. Blaine stuck out his tongue at him before Kurt started getting dressed too.

When they were both fully clothed and ready for town they closed up and hurried down to look around the city.

They spent the entire next day going to stores. Kurt was acting like a kid in a candy shop; racing from boutique to boutique, trying on different outfits and insisting on modeling each of them for Blaine using the store as a catwalk.

In the beginning it was fun. Kurt would make Blaine wait outside without seeing the combinations he made up and then Kurt would come out wearing something outrageous swaying his hips up and down the floor every now and then stopping to do dramatic poses, so Blaine, on Kurt's orders, could serve as his own Project Runway judge.

Sometimes Blaine would sneak into the changing room after Kurt where he would watch him change, and then they would start making out heavily, but after they got caught by a very shocked woman looking like she was about to have a minor heart attack they decided that it was a bad idea.

After a while with scarves and shoes and different fabrics Blaine was starting to get tired. He finally got Kurt convinced that they should take a break from the shops and do something else.

They went out for dinner at a small restaurant that Kurt chose because it reminded him of Moulin Rouge, and after that they strolled down the street hand-in-hand, taking in every visual bit of the town they could.

It felt amazing. To be able to walk down the street holding each other's hands without having people shoot curious or even disgusted looks in their direction. This was definitely something they couldn't do in small-town Ohio. Blaine had thrown off the anxiety about walking down the street like that, but he still hadn't got completely used to the looks.

After he had got beat up in high school for going to a dance with a friend he had been wearing his nerves on his sleeves, but then Kurt had come along and showed him how much he didn't care about it all and that had made Blaine braver. Even though he still found himself looking twice over his shoulder sometimes when he and Kurt were outside during nighttime.

The Vegas atmosphere was completely different, and people smiled at them and didn't take notice of them being together.

Kurt didn't say anything, but Blaine knew that he was well aware of the way he was relaxing compared to when they were at home.

They found a square where big concrete blocks served as benches and sat down with an overlook over the street. It was starting to get dark above them, and the bars and clubs were starting to light up their signs.

"I've got a plan for tomorrow. So don't worry about that. What do you wanna do tonight? We can do everything, Vegas is ours!" Blaine spread out his arms, leaning against Kurt singing _A Whole New World_, but failing to illustrate the greatness of the city when Kurt giggled.

"You look so tiny in front of all the grand buildings." He covered his mouth in his hand to not crack up completely. Blaine faked an unamused expression before he moved over to sit close to Kurt on the cold concrete block.

"Seriously. Aside from laughing at my height, what do you wanna do tonight? We can do anything - just tell me and I'll make it work. Whatever you want," Blaine said emphasizing how much it was Kurt's choice.

Kurt stopped giggling and sent Blaine a warm look.

"Actually - I am starting to get tired. I'm sorry. Can we just, I don't know, stay in our room? I'm sorry," Kurt said apologetic, his eyes looking sad.

"Don't be sorry, baby. I know it's not your fault. Of course we can stay in. We've got lots of time here. There's still 6 days left." Blaine smiled at him as he got up off the block and held out his hand to help Kurt get up too.

"Let's go back then. You need your rest." Blaine put an arm around Kurt, and then they walked back to the hotel.

It didn't take long until Kurt fell asleep leaving Blaine to himself.

He spent the time calling Burt, before he remembered that he had to call his mom too. He called Puck and told him about their first day in Vegas, but he didn't tell any of them that they had got married. It was so tempting, but he had to remind himself that they hadn't discussed it yet, and he didn't want to do it without Kurt - and of course he wanted to see Puck's face when he got the news.

When they woke up the next day Kurt wasn't feeling good so they agreed to take it slow. They stayed in for breakfast in their room and Kurt called Finn to tell him that he missed him. He gave a very descriptive story about their trip since they left him and Puck at the Columbus Airport two days earlier, and as Blaine had done when he had talked to Puck Kurt hesitated when he reached the part of the chapel. He sent Blaine a tender look before he skipped that part and instead continued to talk about their day in the stores.

"Are you feeling any better? Did you remember to take your pills?" Blaine asked anxiously after a few hours.

Kurt had been drawing while Blaine had been reading, and now Blaine had noticed that the clock had struck 4:30pm.

"_Yes_. I have taken my pills, mommy," Kurt said, rolling his eyes, as he wiped his index finger across the paper before he looked up at Blaine.

"I am feeling a bit better. I think I need to get some fresh air soon, do you wanna go out?" Kurt started packing up his pencils to put them aside on the nightstand.

Then he crawled to the foot end of the bed and put a hand on Blaine's book to stop him from reading.

"Did you have any plans, since you're so anxious to get out of here?" He let his feet drift back and forth in the air as if he had been a teenage girl talking about boys as he waited for Blaine to react.

"Actually, I do. Or at least I had an idea of what I thought we should do. I know you're gonna love it, but I don't wanna force you out if you're still not feeling well enough to go out," Blaine said and sat up, his brows almost meeting in the middle of his forehead.

"Stop. Just stop with the worrying, would you? We're here to have fun, I'll tell you if it's too much okay," Kurt objected sending Blaine a sharp look before he changed to a softer expression. Blaine suspected him feeling guilty of having snapped.

"Let's just go out and then we can always go back if I start feeling bad, alright?" Kurt jumped off the bed and started changing his clothes.

"Okay. You're the boss," said Blaine waiting for Kurt to get dressed.

After Kurt had changed and turned in front of the mirror for what Blaine thought felt like ages he was finally ready and they left.

As soon as they hit the streets Blaine remembered how much he had looked forward to this when he had been planning the trip with Puck and Finn, and he felt a rush run through him as he lead Kurt through the crowds of the sidewalk.

"Are you lost?" Asked Kurt after Blaine had led him down a couple of streets, and across a few squares.

"No. I know perfectly well where it's supposed to be," said Blaine unconvincingly as he turned the map and double-checked the note on the side.

He looked a bit around the shops surrounding them before he let his arms drop to his sides.

"Okay. Just - wait here and I'll go ask in that store if they can tell me where to go." He sent Kurt a defeated glance, before he disappeared into the store.

It only took him a few minutes and then he returned with an excited expression lighting up his face.

"Apparently it's just around that corner." Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and pointed in the other direction of a grand hotel across the street.

Kurt hurried in the direction of the pedestrian crossing, Blaine having to almost run to keep up with him.

"Are you gonna tell me what it is before we get there?" Kurt asked in one last attempt of getting the surprise cracked, but Blaine didn't even answer he just smiled as they crossed the corner.

Blaine turned to watch Kurt as he stopped walking and froze in the spot, taking in the sight of the replica of the Eiffel Tower.

"I really wish I could take you to Paris. I know how much you love anything French - so I thought I'd have to do with the next best thing until I can show you the real thing." Blaine didn't know why, but he could feel his cheeks grow rosy, and a ball of warmth spread through his intestines by the look of Kurt's reaction.

Kurt turned to Blaine and without warning he threw his arms around his neck in a high pitched scream.

"You are the most flawless human being on the planet, you know that?" Kurt said happily as he released his grip to look at Blaine.

"Naaah, not at all," Blaine responded awkwardly before something hit him, and he put his hands on Kurt's hips to lean back without letting go off him and still have a perfect look at his face.

"This is actually perfect. It's almost 6:30, so if we go eat somewhere, we can go up later and then we can go there when it's dark, and it's gonna be so much more beautif -" Kurt cut him off, planting a kiss on his lips, making him stunned, forgetting his words.

"You're amazing. Come on." Kurt let go of him and started walking towards the little group of restaurants and cafés down the street, leaving Blaine confused staring after him.

Blaine caught up with him, his head still baffled over Kurt's sudden excitement - and of course from the glance he had at Kurt when he walked away.

To Blaine's surprise Kurt chose a small bistro for them to eat at, and once they were done Kurt didn't start walking towards the Eiffel Tower as expected.

"I thought we were going to the Eiffel Tower now?" Blaine asked confused but loyally following Kurt.

"Of course we are, silly head. But I was thinking that we could go do something else so we won't go there until later. It's only 9:15 - wouldn't it be more amazing if we went there around midnight?"

Blaine shrugged and figured that he did have a point, so he let his fingers lock with Kurt's and guessed that they were going to stroll around the city for a bit while waiting.

"Blaine. I wanna go to a casino. Can we go to a casino? We have fake IDs." Kurt nearly beamed, nearly tripping over his words; he spoke so fast.

"I don't think that's a good idea. It would be fun but - I don't think we should risk anything with the fake IDs. If we get caught we could get into some real trouble." Blaine felt bad that he had to say no. He had to admit that he was incredibly tempted too. Not because he wanted to gamble, he just really wanted to experience the atmosphere.

"Yeah. I guess you're right. But then can we go to a bar or something else? Something fun and exciting," begged Kurt. They had stopped in front of a 24hr souvenir shop with a man looking as if he was hoping that they were going to come in, but Kurt just wrinkled his nose and led Blaine down a side street that was housed by bars and clubs and lightly dressed women walking up and down the street outside trying to stop bypassing cars.

"Kurt. Tomorrow. I've got this really great thing planned, so please be patient. I know you're gonna be so excited when you find out what it is, so tonight - can we just go to the Eiffel Tower and not get all too crazy?" Blaine shot Kurt an apologetic glance fearing that he was gonna get mad and make a scene.

"Are you disappointed? I'm sorry, I just -" Kurt interjected, shaking his head to stop Blaine before he finished his sentence.

"Of course I'm not disappointed. You're taking me to the Eiffel Tower. Sure it would have been fun to do something wild and spontaneous, but we still have plenty of time for that. Trust me, I'll convince you to relax a little and be a bit reckless with me." He paused and looked at Blaine as if he expected him to object but wouldn't care the slightest if he did, but then he continued with the same upbeat voice he had before.

"Then let's be kids instead!" He started dancing back over the sidewalk in the direction back to the Eiffel Tower. Blaine chuckled at his over expressed dance moves, and started observing the different kinds of people in the streets.

It was completely dark above them, and Blaine was starting to feel a bit cold, he pondered whether it was a good idea to take Kurt to the Eiffel Tower, but he couldn't bring himself to take away the ecstatic excitement Kurt was filled with from the promise of getting a bit of Paris.

Kurt ran across the square of the Eiffel Tower and ended at the little souvenir stand. He looked at all the tacky stuff the balding, middle-aged man was selling. There was all kinds of crap from t-shirts to mugs and paintings.

Blaine wrinkled his nose from the sight of the plastic jewelry and the cheesy postcards while Kurt ran to the stand next to the one Blaine was at.

After a few minutes of looking around Blaine found Kurt at the foot of the Eiffel Tower with a grand cotton candy stick in his hand.

When Blaine got over to him he couldn't stop himself from laughing at the sight of Kurt letting his fingertips playing around with the pink fluff. In that moment it was almost as if the hospitals, medication, and fevers had just been a bad dream. How could anything bad happen to them when life was as beautiful as it was in that second?

"And you are like 7 now, or what?" Blaine chuckled and smiled at Kurt sticking out his tongue in response.

"I happen to enjoy cotton candy very much," Kurt said, threatening to let the cotton candy collide with Blaine's nose, making him take step back.

"I got you something," Kurt said casually, not even raising his focus from his hands that were busy avoiding sugar covering his clothes.

"It's nothing big. It's silly actually, but I liked it." His voice changed from childlike to sad for a split-second - so quickly that Blaine wondered if he had just imagined it.

"Let me the judge of how silly it is. What is it?" Blaine asked, desperately hoping that it wasn't a corny pen saying "I heart Vegas" or anything like that.

Kurt put his free hand into his pocket and hurried to hold up his palm showing a key ring with a little silver replica of the Eiffel Tower.

"Kurt, that's so adorable." Blaine took the little model in his hand and turned it around to get a better look at the details.

Kurt had stepped over to stand close to Blaine, smiling - observing him look over what he had just received.

"I'm glad you like it. It's really nothing. I just wanted you to have - something to remember me by. Remember this trip. You know," Kurt explained under his breath. The words hit Blaine like a torpedo in the chest, and he wasn't sure if Kurt had meant it like that, but he couldn't just let it slide.

"Don't say that. I could never forget you. But that doesn't matter, cause you're gonna stay with me forever, right? Besides, how could I ever forget this trip? It's not nothing, I really love it, baby." Blaine leaned in to kiss Kurt on the cheek, before he put the model in his pocket and grabbed Kurt's free hand.

"Are you ready to go up?" Blaine asked letting a broad grin cover up the sting of pain still ringing in the back of his chest.

Kurt squealed and jumped on his toes before they walked over to stand in line.

They had to stand in line for what felt like ages, but when they finally reached the top it had been worth the wait.

The view was indescribable. When they stepped out of the elevator Kurt started tripping around on tiptoes, squeezing Blaine's hand hard in his own.

Kurt let go of Blaine's hand and started running around to take in the view from every angle he could, leaving Blaine to walk over to the fence where he could silently look out over the city under them.

After a while Blaine felt Kurt close his arms around his waist and place his chin on Blaine's shoulder.

"It's so beautiful. It's the most incredible thing I've ever seen. I can't even begin to imagine how it must look like in Paris." Kurt rested his head against Blaine's as he sighed, making Blaine's cool cheek moist from Kurt's breath.

"It really is beautiful. But I don't really care that we're not in Paris. I'm with you, so it doesn't matter. For all I know we could be in Paris right now. It feels like it. The most romantic city in the world." Blaine turned around to put his arms around Kurt too, seeing that Kurt's face was covered in a smirk.

"When I'm with you anywhere is the most romantic city in the world." He planted a quick kiss on Blaine's lips.

"Thank you for taking me here," Kurt smiled, giving Blaine the impression that the stars had been moved from the sky to his eyes.

"Kurt. No one has ever made me feel like this before. You make me feel like that Beatles song; The sound of your laughter is one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. It's the most infectious and inciting sound in the world. And our limitless, undying love - it lights up my life. You're my sun, you take me across the universe, Kurt." Blaine let his brown orbs pierce into Kurt's. He didn't want to blink an eye or move a muscle. He wanted to make sure that Kurt understood how serious he was about it.

"You are certainly poetic tonight, huh?" Kurt raised an eyebrow, but Blaine knew that he was actually shying up from Blaine's words.

Blaine didn't care the slightest though. He wanted so badly to do the impossible; explain to Kurt just how much he loved him.

"I love you," said Kurt, and moved closer to Blaine to hug him.

Kurt was shivering from the cold breeze silently drifting by them. They stood by the fence, holding each other while looking over the Vegas lights illuminated the sky before Blaine knew that it was time.

"Let's get you back to bed, baby. You're freezing." Blaine didn't doubt that Kurt was going to be sad about it, but he really did needed to get back and get his medication in time.

"I just wanna stand here with you forever," Kurt responded in the predicted sad voice.

"Me too, but you're gonna get sick. I promised your dad that I would take care of you. Besides - Puck would kill me if I let you catch as much as a cough." Blaine chuckled at thought of Puck's caring for Kurt, and brushed a lock of straying hair away from Kurt's forehead.

Kurt rolled his eyes and agreed to let Blaine take him back to the hotel, so he let Blaine lead him to the elevator and back through the town.

The streets were filled with singing, dancing and screaming people on their way to or from the city.

Blaine was very well aware that Kurt was only walking this slowly on purpose because he wanted to postpone the second they were going to be back in the room, where he had to face the pills again; and thereby his illness.

When they got back to the room Kurt was being extremely quiet and Blaine decided to let him have his peace.

They took turns on showering and after that Blaine presented Kurt with his usual dose of pills.

Kurt swallowed the pills with the same expression of disgust that he always adopted once he let the medications into his mouth, before he silently curled up against Blaine and fell asleep.

Blaine called Burt to let him know that everything was fine. Then he called Puck to tell him about their day and hear how things were going back home.

After he had hung up the phone he let himself slide down in the covers to listen to Kurt's hushed breathing as he went to sleep himself.

"Kurt. You need to wake up. Are you okay?" Blaine could feel a tingle of worry creep up his spine.

Kurt had been sleeping all day - he hadn't even woke up to go back to sleep again. Blaine had spent the entire day catching up on some schoolwork while keeping an eye on Kurt's breathing.

There had been a few times where Blaine had dropped everything because Kurt had started coughing horribly. Every time it had stopped without problems and Kurt had slept on as if nothing had happened.

Now it was afternoon and Blaine needed to make sure Kurt didn't mess his medication schedule up too much, so Blaine had to wake him, even though Blaine really just wanted to let him sleep.

"Hey beautiful. What's going on?" Kurt looked as if he could easily have slept a few more hours, and he didn't even raise his head from the pillow.

His voice sounded strangely rasp, but Blaine guessed that it was from the sleeping.

"I'm sorry that I had to wake you, but you really need to take your pills. You've been sleeping all day." Blaine let his hand run caressingly over Kurt's cheek that was feverishly hot, and Kurt sat up and looked confused around the room.

"What time is it? Why didn't you wake me?" Kurt coughed a little but didn't seem to take much notice of it.

"I just thought that you probably needed some rest. It's okay, I've just been doing some homework." Blaine tried his best to convince Kurt that he shouldn't feel guilty, but apparently it didn't have the desired effect.

"It's almost 3! Oh god, I'm so sorry, Blaine. I shouldn't have slept the day away." Kurt's eyes were red and he sniffed delicately before he rested the back of his head against the wall.

"Are you okay? You've been coughing a lot, and your cheek is so hot," Blaine said, doing his best not to comment on how Kurt looked.

"I'm okay. Don't worry about it. I just need some water," Kurt exclaimed with an undertone of a snap.

Blaine nodded and decided that it probably wasn't a good idea to take up an argument. Instead he got Kurt some food and water and then he silently proceeded with his school while Kurt ate and made some phone calls.

"So - today's the day!" Kurt fell down on the mattress with his head in Blaine's lap as he sported a broad grin.

"Are you gonna tell me what our plans for tonight are?" Kurt asked flirtatiously as he let his hands up to caress Blaine's knees around his ears. Blaine smiled widely when he saw the spark in Kurt's eyes.

"Okay. But just because you probably want to start getting ready as we have to leave around 5:30." Blaine caved in, and Kurt rushed to sit up straight in less than a second with anticipation painted thickly all over his entire body.

"We are going to The Treasure Hotel -" Blaine deliberately dragged it out to torture Kurt a little. He was dying to see Kurt's reaction, but the frustrated mode he got into when he was waiting was so cute too.

"- to see Mysterie." Blaine didn't even get to finish the word before Kurt threw his arms around Blaine's neck.

"Cirque Du Soleil? Are you serious? You're not joking are you? Cause if you're joking I am going to kill you, Blaine Anderson!" Kurt let go of Blaine, first sending him a suspicious glance, and then transformed into looking like he could burst into flames from excitement any second.

"I promise you; I would never joke about Cirque Du Soleil. Finn goes to college with a guy whose dad has some connections, so he got us these amazing tickets. You are gonna love them. My idea is that we dress up nicely and pretend to be some fancy couple that actually fits in." Blaine felt his own excitement run through his veins.

He had dreamed of seeing Cirque Du Soleil his whole life and he knew that Kurt had too. It was going to be the perfect night.

"Oh no! That means that I'm way behind on getting ready!" Kurt jumped off the bed and hurried to the bathroom, before he ran back to get his suitcase and then locked himself in the bathroom.

Blaine giggled over him, but let himself drop back on the pillow knowing that he wasn't going to see Kurt for the next hour.

As predicted Kurt didn't emerge out of the bathroom until 4:30. He had obviously taken a shower and was now wrapped in a blue bathrobe.

"So I'm allowed to shower now?" When he saw the expression on Kurt's face Blaine instantly regretted his own joking tone.

When Blaine was done in the bathroom he found Kurt sitting on the bed. Ready and waiting for him.

Kurt was wearing a slick black suit with silver flowers broadened in thin thread down the front of the jacket, and when Blaine stepped closer he could see that Kurt was wearing a discrete layer of black mascara and eyeliner.

"Wow. Kurt you are stunning. Are you sure you wanna be seen with me in my boring black suit?" smiled Blaine as Kurt stood up to face him.

"You make a valid point. But your pretty face makes up for it," Kurt teased back before he returned to the excited state he had been in earlier.

"We better get going. Are you ready?" Blaine held out his arm for Kurt to take it and they left the room to find a cab.

As they sat in the dark Kurt didn't let go of Blaine's hand for one second.

Every time one of the artists did something extraordinarily dangerous Blaine felt Kurt tighten his grip and hold his breath. Whenever something amusing happened Kurt would giggle to himself and when a new costume was presented he would do a little gasp before stopping himself. During one particularly moving number Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand a little more and leaned closer to let Blaine put his arm around Kurt's shoulder, feeling Kurt's silent tears through his shirt.

"It was so amazing. Even more than I could ever have imagined. I have to tell Rachel everything." Kurt talked about the show in the cab all the way back to the hotel, and proceeded once they were in bed.

"All the colors, and the way they were moving. The outfits and the - just everything." Kurt's voice was still rasp, but he didn't let it stop him from having it rise and fall during his stream of words.

"So I'm guessing that you had a good time?" Blaine asked casually as he turned off the lamp on his nightstand.

"Oh Blaine. It was perfect, nothing less. It was just flawless." Kurt continued to go over every single detail of the music, the choreography and the costumes and make up until he eventually yawned himself to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

It was 4:16am. At first Blaine wasn't sure why he had woken up, until he realized that the bed was empty next to him and the light was on in the bathroom. The door wasn't closed al the way and he could hear Kurt coughing horribly in there.

Blaine jumped out of the bed and ran to the bathroom feeling something run through his body. When he pushed the door open he found Kurt sitting on the floor with his back against the tub while coughing worse than Blaine had ever witnessed.

"God, why are you sitting here, baby?" Blaine hurried over to kneel down next to Kurt. Blaine knew that something was wrong, and he was afraid that this was worse than what he knew he could handle.

"I didn't wanna wake you up," Kurt said apologetically between the coughs. His eyes were red and watery and his skin was so pale that it was almost white.

"You should have waken me up. You shouldn't sit out here. You're gonna catch a cold. Come here, let's get you back to bed." Blaine's voice was so weak from the shock that it was almost a whisper.

Kurt's lips were almost purple, and when Blaine put his arm around Kurt he couldn't tell if he was too hot or too cold. His body was shivering, but we was also covered in a thin layer of sweat. Kurt had trouble keeping on his feet so Blaine supported him all the way to the bed.

As soon as he had made sure that Kurt had a lot of pillows for support he tugged the covers closely around him.

"Do you need anything? Should I get some more blankets? Some water? Anything?" Blaine's eyebrows had met in the middle of his forehead the way they always did when he was nervous. Only this time he could feel that his entire body was telling him off; he was honestly extremely scared.

Kurt tried catching his eyes when he shook his head. He was coughing way too much to get out a sentence, and Blaine knew that he didn't want to bother him. So Blaine crawled back into the bed next to him. He didn't know what to do, but he was starting to fear that he wouldn't be able to get Kurt through the night alone.

Blaine wanted to keep his eyes on Kurt without even blinking, but he didn't even dare looking at him for a second. He knew that Kurt would be uncomfortable by his attention, and then he would try telling him off and make the coughing even worse.

"Kurt, I think that maybe we should consider calling a doctor. It really doesn't sound too good -" Blaine tried carefully. He didn't doubt for a second that Kurt would try and talk him out of it, but he had already made up his mind; he was going to call the reception and get them to send a doctor. He didn't want to take the chance of letting Kurt continue like this for the rest of the night - maybe even for the rest of their trip.

As predicted Kurt shook his head desperately. His eyes got wide and the coughing got worse, but he still tried talking.

"No. Please - no doctors - you promised - please -" It was painful to listen to him trying to speak, which only convinced Blaine even further. Kurt might get mad at him, but it was something he was willing to risk to make sure he didn't get any sicker.

"I know I did; and I really don't wanna do this. But this is too much. We can't handle this alone. You might get even worse, and I don't want that happening. I have to call a doctor," apologized Blaine. He felt like he was trying to rip out his heart; Kurt was begging him with his eyes and he looked like he was on the edge of tears.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry, honey." Blaine kept on while waiting for someone to pick up the phone in the reception.

Once he finally got a hold of someone he got them to send a doctor as fast as possible. As soon as he had put down the phone he wanted to run over and put his arms around Kurt but he didn't. Instead he didn't move at all. Like he was paralyzed, or nailed to the spot.

He stood there for what felt like an hour, just watching Kurt cough his lungs out with tears streaming down his face, but in reality it probably wasn't more than two minutes.

He had no idea what to do about himself, what he could do to help Kurt, so in his desperation he hurried to the bathroom to get a glass of water.

He knew that it was ridiculous, and that a silly glass of water wouldn't do anything good, but he needed to do something to not feel useless.

He sat back down on the bed next to Kurt, where Kurt leaned in to rest his head against Blaine's shoulder. Blaine hurried to put an arm around him to make sure he didn't get cold, but inside he didn't think he was worthy of sitting there with his arm around Kurt.

"I am so sorry I brought you here, Kurt. How could I do this? I should have known better. You need to be at home close to your own doctors and people who know how to take care of you. I can't take care of you." Blaine felt warm tears run down his face now and he had to bite his lip to keep from sobbing. He didn't want Kurt to see that he was crying, he didn't need that right now.

Kurt had almost stopped coughing now. Now he was heaving desperately for breath, and it sounded as if every time he inhaled or exhaled a piece of sandpaper was dragged up and down his throat.

He didn't have the energy to stay up himself, so the only thing that kept him sitting up straight were the pillows supporting his back and Blaine's arm around him.

"Don't say that. It's been amazing. It's been the best days of my life. You're my husband now, you could never do me wrong." Kurt's voice was hoarse and he had to pause every now and then between the words to breathe or to cough. He had shifted to look up at Blaine and for the first time during their entire trip he looked scared. It was like looking at a little boy who had been told to sleep alone in the dark for the first time in his life.

"Husband," Blaine said, unable to stop himself from smiling down at him. He let his hand stroke over Kurt's hair that was moist from the sweating. He wished that he could never stop saying it; husband. He wanted to run through all of Las Vegas and just scream it, that Kurt Hummel was his husband.

As soon as the doctor arrived Blaine tightened his grip around Kurt's shoulder, but was told to let go even though Kurt whimpered for him not to. Kurt held out his hand to indicate that Blaine should take it, but he couldn't. He had to leave the room; he just couldn't look at the way the doctor started taking all his tests.

Blaine had explained the case to the doctor. It was the first time he had said the word "_cancer_" out loud since he had told his mom about it. It burnt all the way from his stomach, up through his throat, over his tongue and on his lips - he could almost see the word written in flames when he said it.

Kurt had begged him to tell the doctor that he was just having a bad case of lemonier, but Blaine had refused. He knew that if the doctor were able to help in any way they had to know the truth. Kurt had cried and whined and begged him not to say the word and Blaine almost caved in when there was a knock on the door and all he could say was: "_I'm sorry_."

However, he had tried making up for it when the doctor had asked him what their relation to each other was. He had looked at Kurt and without even blinking said "_we just got married_". The doctor had congratulated them and a tint of red had showed in Kurt's white cheeks while he struggled to gain up energy enough to smile.

The doctor said that he needed to take Kurt to the hospital to observation for the next 12 hours and Kurt started objecting when Blaine cut through and said that he was going to pack the most necessary things so they could leave straight away. Kurt sent him a sour look, but Blaine didn't care. He believed that Kurt wasn't in a position to know what was the best for him at the moment.

Once they were at the hospital Blaine hurried outside to call Burt so he could tell him where they were. Blaine was deadly scared to call him after the argument Kurt had with him when they had just arrived. Blaine couldn't blame him for his reaction; now that he was pacing the halls of the hospital he saw that it was the stupidest thing he had ever done, and he couldn't understand how he had ever got such an idiotic idea.

Burt started to say that he was going to fly out to go there, but Blaine kept telling him no. It would only upset Kurt more and could make him worse. Blaine promised to try and fix their tickets so they could go home as soon as Kurt was out of the hospital.

After some time with Burt yelling and Blaine panicking, Burt agreed that it was probably for the best to do it that way. Blaine promised to keep him informed with the tiniest details before he hung up and hurried back to Kurt's room.

When he got back the doctors were done with their tests and questions, and Blaine was let back into the room. Kurt looked awful, like he hadn't slept for years or been out in the sun in his entire life. Blaine sat down on the chair next to his bed wishing repeatedly that he hadn't taken him to Vegas. If he hadn't done so maybe this wouldn't have happened - or he would at least be close to doctors who knew him.

"Hey beautiful. How are you feeling?" Blaine inquired when Kurt opened his eyes to look at him. He knew that he hadn't been sleeping, but he was afraid to say anything in case he was trying to.

"Stop. It's not funny anymore," said Kurt, shifting his head a little to get a better view in Blaine's direction.

"You know what I did when I had to sign all the papers?" Blaine asked hoping to get Kurt's mood a little lighter. It was a cheap trick, he admitted that bluntly, and he couldn't blame Kurt for being in a dark mood. He just really wished that he could get him better.

"What did you do, Blaine? Hopefully not something horrible -" replied Kurt, wriggling his fingers to show that he wanted Blaine to take his hand; so he did. He let both of his hands close around Kurt's one, making sure that both of the plastic rings were visible. Blaine almost felt it as if the tiny smiley faces on them were mocking him with their big smiles.

"I signed them with Hummel-Anderson as both of our names." When Blaine said the names out loud he smiled himself. A different warmth spread inside him by the sound of it and the feeling of wanting to run screaming through the town returned.

Kurt's eyes looked as if a light had been lit behind a fogged glass and the corners of his mouth dragged a little bit up; very possibly the most he was able to smile at that point.

"You did? I like that. It sounds so official. It's perfect," Kurt responded and Blaine could feel that he was doing his best to squeeze his hand around Blaine's, and he suddenly remembered his promise to Burt; that they had to go home as soon as Kurt was out of the hospital. He didn't want to tell Kurt - he could already predict that he was going to be devastated that they would lose the last two days of their time in Vegas, so he decided that it could wait.

"Did you call home?" Kurt asked sharply. Blaine was amazed that he was able to know what he was thinking about just by looking at him, but he wasn't surprised. It wouldn't be the first time Kurt had nailed him like that. He knew that he had to tell him now, or he would know that there was something he was hiding.

"Yeah. I just talked to your dad. I told him what happened and that we're at the hospital now. He got mad and started yelling at me," Blaine explained carefully knowing in which direction he was headed, and when Kurt started showing signs of apologizing he hurried to continue.

"He uhm - he made me make a promise to him. I know that you won't like it, but I had to. He's right. I was so stupid to bring you out here. I promised him to fix our tickets so we can go home as soon as you're out of the hospital. Please don't get mad. I know it's sad, but we're only missing two days, and you should be at home where your dad can take care of you. I feel like the worst boyfriend in the world. I am so sorry for having caused this, Kurt."

Blaine's brown orbs were huge and watery, and he was overwhelmed by a desperate need to apologizing and never stopping. But Kurt didn't look mad.

"Then it's good you're not my boyfriend - but it's okay, baby. It's probably for the best that way. Don't kick yourself over it, I'm just glad we had the days we had." Kurt's voice sounded as if he had smoked a carton of cigarettes within an hour, but somehow he still managed to make it soft and comforting. He let a hand rise up to stroke Blaine's cheek before he had to put his arm back down.

For the rest of the hospital stay Blaine didn't leave Kurt's side. He stayed in the chair holding his hand, making sure he had everything he needed and sang to him. He comforted him when he cried and took the heat when he got frustrated and had to let it out. The same nurse kept coming back to check up on them and asked them if there was anything she could get them. That was the point where Blaine realized that he would never get used to the looks people sent them.

He had got used to the looks people sent them when they walked down the street hand in hand, and the looks parents would give them when they waved to their kid or passed a playground; the looks of disgust or fear that they would "_turn their children gay_". They didn't care about those looks anymore; they were ignorant and idiotic.

But the looks they got when people passed them and knew that Kurt was sick were unbearable; the looks of sympathy, the looks of sadness, the looks of "_they are so young_" or the looks of "_they are so strong_". Sometimes he just wanted to scream at people that they should look the other way, or leave them alone. Now he understood why Kurt wouldn't have people knowing about it - and that was where the thought hit him; as soon as they got home they would probably have to tell their friends.

Blaine didn't tell Kurt, but he started to list the people that should know in his head. He started to feel bad that they hadn't told Rachel yet - she and Kurt didn't talk much anymore, but they still cared very much about each other, and every time something happened in Rachel's life she called Kurt. He had done the same up until he had gotten sick, now he didn't tell her anything anymore out of fear that she would notice that something was up.

Blaine also felt that he had to tell Sam. Even though Sam and Kurt had only been in school together for a year and he had moved from Lima years ago he and Kurt had kept in touch. Every now and then Sam would even call Blaine if he couldn't get a hold of Kurt.

Sam had stood up for Kurt and taken fights for him when he had been bullied, and Kurt had been Sam's greatest support back when his family had lost their house; ever since then they had told each other everything. Kurt had always been there for Sam whenever he needed it; no matter if it was family, or girls, or college. Likewise, Sam had always been there too whenever Kurt needed to talk, and Blaine didn't think that it was fair to keep him out of something as big as this. He was sure that Sam would jump on the first plane to Ohio if Blaine asked him to.

As soon as Kurt got permission to leave the hospital they returned to the hotel where Blaine let him sleep while he started to call around to figure out how to change their tickets. The second he had solved the problem Blaine called Burt and told them that they were on their way home, and then he started to pack their suitcases. When he was done, Blaine got in the bed to hold around Kurt until they had to leave. They lay like that for two hours before the cab got there and drove them to the airport.

Blaine had made sure that they didn't have to wait too long in the airport to make sure nothing could happen on the way home, and nothing did.

Kurt didn't have any energy left at all, so he sat curled up in a seat while they waited in the airport, and he slept almost the entire flight home.

Blaine had called Puck from the airport, and he promised to come and pick them up. As soon as they got in the car he said that Finn was on his way home from college. He had made the arrangements the second he had heard that Kurt was in the hospital and would come home as fast as they could.

Even though Blaine knew that it wasn't his fault he couldn't stop blaming himself for what had happened. He could see now that everything Burt had been scared would happen when he had realized they were gone, had actually happened, and Blaine felt like going into hiding.

As soon as they returned to the Hummel-Hudson house Burt got a doctor over. He had already received the report from the Vegas hospital so he knew exactly what was going on with Kurt.

The doctor said that he wanted Kurt to be under 24/7 observations, and if he didn't get any better within a week he should be taken to the hospital.

Kurt kept complaining and said that it was just because he'd been so active during the week, and that it was just his body reacting, telling him that he needed to slow down.

"I'm fine. I'll just sleep for some hours and I'll get better in no time," Kurt insisted.

But he didn't get better. Blaine sat by his side, watching him sleeping for 10 hours, without as much as going to the bathroom. He hadn't slept for more than 24 hours himself, but he didn't care.

"You need to sleep, Blaine. Don't worry. I'll stay and keep an eye on him. Get some rest, kid," Burt said to him when he came to check up on them after Kurt had been sleeping at ease except for when Blaine had to wake him up to make sure he got his medication.

"No. It's okay. I'm not tired," Blaine lied, even though he knew that Burt saw right through it. Blaine was well aware that he looked awful; red, puffy eyes and muffled hair, ash gray in the face and a scruff starting to show on his usually slick cheeks.

"Come on, Blaine. It's alright. If anything happens we'll wake you up," Burt insisted and nodded to indicate that Blaine should go to sleep.

"Thanks. Just let me know okay," Blaine said one more time even though he knew that Burt would tell him instantly if there was the tiniest change in Kurt's state.

Blaine slid down between the covers and turned to wrap his arm around Kurt. When he moved close to him he could hear the sound of Kurt's sandpaper breathing. As Blaine closed his eyes he couldn't stop thinking about how creepy the sound was. Like an evil monster had taken habitat inside Kurt and was now feeding of his vital organs.

When Blaine finally fell asleep it was all he could dream about. Strange little creatures creeping around inside Kurt's body, using his veins and nervous system as piping to get around, and they had to attack his blood in order to move faster.

Blaine wanted to get inside Kurt's blood to stop them, but no matter how much he tried they only kept multiplying instead of reducing, while the vicious creatures sent him mocking grins.

After that one night it was all Blaine could dream about and every time he closed his eyes the monsters popped up in his head. It reached a point where he was almost afraid to close his eyes - he kept imagining that the more he pictured the beasts, the more they actually did multiply inside Kurt.

They had been home from Vegas for a week and Kurt was still in bed. He wasn't coughing as horribly anymore, but he had gone incredibly weak. All he did was lie in bed watching movies and musicals with Blaine holding him, or he slept. Kurt almost didn't eat and when he did, it was under a lot of pressure from people around him. He had no appetite at all and the thought of eating was repulsing.

"Blaine. Come on, we need to do something. If he doesn't start eating soon he'll end up anorectic. I mean look at him - he's so skinny. Whenever he asks me to hold him I'm afraid he's going to break or something." Puck's whisper was desperate. Ever since Blaine and Kurt had returned his brows had been furrowed and a worried expression had been permanently plastered over his face.

In the beginning Kurt had told him to relax and back off, but as the days went on he had only gotten sicker, all energy had been drained and he had given up on fighting it and let Puck's nerves run wild. Kurt didn't have the brain capacity to object against their fussing so he just let them be and turned his back on them.

"I know, but what do you want me to do? I can't force him to eat. Don't you think I'm scared as well? He doesn't need to get anymore sick than he already is - shhh, he's waking up." Blaine hushed at Puck as Kurt started to move, his eyes flinching against the light escaping the shut drapes.

Blaine had sworn to himself that he didn't want to let Kurt hear them discuss their worries. He was afraid that if he stressed over that too he would get worse, and Puck had agreed that this would be the best way to go around it.

"Good morning. Did you have a nice nap?" Blaine asked in a quiet voice, looking down to Kurt on the pillow. Blaine let his hand run over Kurt's lusterless hair as Kurt looked up at him, before trying to drag himself to sit up.

"Hey. What are you talking about that I can't hear?" Kurt's voice was thick from sleeping. He rubbed his eyes with his knuckles, like a child, and his lips were painfully dry.

Puck avoided his gaze by looking at Blaine instead. Blaine panicked he didn't know what he should say, so instead he spontaneously said:

"Honey. I was thinking - shouldn't we tell Puck? He deserves to know, and we've been home for a while now." Blaine shifted to glance at Kurt, and did what he could to send him a saying look. Kurt bit his lower lip and let his eyes flicker from Blaine to Puck and then back to Blaine again before he nodded and held up his hand to show that he wanted to have the honor.

"Noah, there's something we need to tell you. While we were in Vegas we did something - on the very first night actually. It was crazy, but I'm really happy about it - _we_ are really happy about it."

Kurt let the fingers of his right hand lock with Blaine's while taking in Puck's confused expression. He seemed like he didn't really know whether he should be excited or scared. Then Kurt held up their hands to show the horrible looking ring that suddenly seemed very beautiful in a horrendous kind of way.

"We got married. Please don't tell anyone. No one knows but you. We're going to tell Finn later, we just - we wanted you to know," Kurt said as he waited for a reaction. Puck's jaw had dropped and his eyes had grown huge as they jumped between his two friends in front of him.

"Are you serious? Married? Like really married? With minister and champagne and wedding night and all that shit?" Puck didn't even blink. He just sat staring at them in disbelief as if he had heard that Christmas had been moved and now he didn't know if he could make it or not.

"Aren't you happy for us? I thought you would be thrilled." Kurt's mood dropped abruptly by Puck's reaction, and Blaine could feel that he shifted a bit uneasy under the covers. His fingers twitched and his face grew paler.

"I am. I am. A lot. I just always thought that - that Finn and I would get to be your best men," Puck pouted. He looked like someone had grabbed his guitar out of his hands and hidden it from him.

"I'm sorry. I thought so too. It was just one of these things that just happen, you know. But I promise you that you can like - be godfather of our children," Kurt exclaimed, without even moving.

"Kids? You discussed kids and everything? Wow - that is early, shouldn't you get over the honeymoon stage first?" Puck chuckled, and fell to the mattress. He looked to the ceiling before he looked back to see Blaine being caught off guard.

"No. We didn't, actually. But - yeah, I agree. You could be godfather of our children. You and Finn of course." Blaine felt a sudden rush of affection for Kurt, and just wanted to throw him to the bed and kiss him, but with Puck lying there glaring at them he settled for just squeezing Kurt's hand.

Not more than a second later a stinging pain hit him in his brain and ran to his chest; what if Kurt didn't make it? What if Kurt didn't have a future left for them to have an actual marriage with kids and a house and all those things?

Blaine kept up his smile, but he felt like it had transformed into a fake frown. He really didn't want anyone to know that he had ever let that thought cross his mind. He didn't want himself to face that he had thought about it. What kind of person was he to sit and consider the fact that his boyfriend, husband, might not be there with him in the future?

Blaine sat down on the kitchen chair in front of Burt with a feeling that he wasn't going to like what was about to be said.

For the first time in ages he was looking at Burt and really saw him. It suddenly struck Blaine how old he had started to look, almost gray. Or maybe it was just the dimmed light. No matter what he looked so extremely tired - like he had missed sleep for a lifetime.

"I talked to the doctor on the phone earlier today. I told him how Kurt is holding up and all. There's no easy way to say this so I'll just do it - tomorrow we'll get a bag packed up for him and he's going to get hospitalized. We can't do this alone anymore. He's too sick. They want to have him under 24/7 surveillance." Burt didn't let his eyes stride away from Blaine's for a second. He just kept his gaze locked on Blaine's face.

Blaine couldn't say that he was surprised. He had known that this would be the next step. Kurt was starting to look sicker day by day, and he was slowly starting to lose more energy. He almost only left the bed to go to the bathroom, and most of the time he was sleeping.

It was painful to witness, and Blaine hated himself for not being able to do anything to stop it.

"I - I guess that's for the best," Blaine consented in a thick voice. He looked around the kitchen to gain time to make up something to say, but he couldn't. All words were gone.

"I don't want him in there either, but - I'm afraid it's his only shot. They're going to put him back in chemo. That stupid project didn't work at all. They're thinking that's why he's been getting so much worse lately; because there hasn't been anything to fight the - cells." Burt almost choked on the word he had tried to avoid saying. It was an unspoken rule in the Hummel-Hudson house that no one was ever to say the word. Ever. Like it was some sort of toxic chemical that would be set loose by the very mention of its name.

"Yeah. I suspected so. I wish he had listened. How could he have been so stupid?" Blaine wanted to jump out of the chair and run to the house of the doctors who had talked Kurt into signing that contract and just beat them up. He needed someone to blame so badly, someone to take the frustrations out on, but there was no one to take the fault.

"He just wanted to do something. He feels so powerless. He can't do anything but sit around and wait, and hope that whatever the doctors are doing is going to help. Just like you and me, son - he's scared." Burt was clearly uncomfortable about the entire situation, so Blaine stood up to try and ease the thick atmosphere in the kitchen.

"Could you like - tell him? I don't think I can take it if he breaks down or freaks out. I want to be there for him, I just don't have the nerves for it right now." The second the words had left his lips he wished that he could catch them and destroy them before they reached Burt. He felt like the most horrible person in the world to ask him this.

"It's alright, kid. I'll go do it. You know, whenever you're out of the room he asks about you. He is worried about how you're tackling all of this. It's all he talks about when you're not there. He cries for you and begs me to get you to hurry back." Burt sent Blaine a smile that he probably meant to be consoling, but it felt more like watching a piece of his soul die.

"Thank you. I'll go to Finn's room. Then just - let me know when you've talked to him. I want to be there if he needs me." Blaine left the kitchen and headed upstairs to go to Finn's room where he unwound by beating Finn a few rounds on the PlayStation.

It only took 30 minutes until Burt came into Finn's room. He asked Blaine to come to Kurt's room, so he hurried in there.

Kurt was curled up to a ball squeezing Blaine's pillow. He didn't move when Blaine entered the room, or when he closed the door. Not even when he sat down on the bed next to Kurt. The second he put his hand on Kurt's shoulder that changed and Kurt flung himself around to curl up in Blaine's arms instead.

"I don't want to go to the hospital. I wanna stay at home. With you, with my own stuff, my own sheets, my own everything -" Kurt wept into Blaine's chest. It was heartbreaking.

"I know, sweetie. But you have to, so they can help you. You need to do this. You'll probably be out again soon. And I promise that I won't leave you for two seconds. I'll stay with you all the time." Blaine clenched his arms around Kurt. Why couldn't he just say something comforting instead of sounding like an idiot?

The drive to the hospital the next day was horrendous. Kurt had refused to get out of bed and cried and screamed at them to leave him alone whenever anyone tried talking him into getting up to get ready.

In the end, it had been Puck to win him over. Blaine had called Puck in frustration to let it all out, and Puck had offered to call Kurt. After 10 minutes Kurt had calmed down and hung up the phone.

Kurt had left his bed and stayed in his room for 30 minutes behind a locked door before he came downstairs with a suitcase. If Blaine hadn't known it he would never have guessed how sick Kurt really was. By looking at him, there was no question to why Kurt had been locked in his room for so long. His hair was perfectly groomed, and the dark rings under his eyes were almost gone under a layer of make up. He was wearing his usual every day clothes, and for a second his whole appearance made Blaine wish that it had all been a terrifying dream and they were about to go to school.

Kurt was ice cold in the car. He and Blaine were sitting in the back, but Kurt demonstratively had his eyes locked on the landscape rushing by them, refusing to look at Blaine. He didn't talk to his dad or to Blaine, and Blaine didn't dare take his hand. If Kurt needed some space to comprehend what was going on he didn't want to push him.

When they reached the hospital Blaine came to think that he didn't know if he this was the time to tell Burt about their trip to the chapel in Vegas or not. On one hand he was afraid that it would make Burt blow up, but on the other he couldn't stop feeling that Burt would be very happy for them. All Blaine knew was that it probably would affect the signing of papers, and he didn't want a nurse or a doctor to be the one to tell Burt that his son was secretly married.

Blaine told Burt that he and Kurt needed to talk and asked Kurt to walk with him. They found a quiet place a little from the reception that was comfortably enough distance away from Burt to keep him out of earshot.

"Listen, I think we need to tell your dad that we're married. Now," Blaine pointed out. He did his best to keep his tone soft, but still firm making sure that Kurt saw the significance of this detail.

"No, Blaine. I - I can't right now. He doesn't need to deal with this now. He's gonna kill me. He's gonna kill you," argued Kurt, but that wasn't good enough for Blaine. He couldn't just stand and watch Burt get hit by a shock of that level right now when he was already doing such a painful thing.

"I know. I know. But - he's gonna start signing some papers in a minute, and then some doctor is going to tell him that your name isn't just Hummel anymore. Do you really think it's fair to him to have a doctor tell him that his son is married?" Blaine reasoned uncomfortably aware that Burt was observing them.

"No, of course not. It's just - I don't think he's ready to hear it yet," Kurt said looking down at the floor while his fingers wildly fiddled with the chain on his waistcoat.

"Do you mean that you're not ready to tell him yet?" Blaine asked, and put a hand on Kurt's to stop his frantic playing.

He knew that this was what it was about, and he had seen it coming, but he didn't think they could avoid it any longer.

"Kurt. Baby, listen, I understand that it's big, and you're afraid of how he's going to take it, considering the circumstances, but I'm sure if he's gonna get angry it will only be briefly to deal with the surprise of it. Come on, Kurt. Before he finds out on accident," Blaine pleaded, before Kurt squeezed his eyes shot and then opened them widely with a sigh.

"Okay. Okay! I'll do it. But if he goes crazy I'm going to hold you fully responsible," Kurt finally agreed. Blaine smiled warmly and hugged him before taking his hand so they could walk back to Burt together.

"Hey kids. We have to do this now. Let's just get it over with. The sooner you get in, the quicker we can get you out again," Burt said, but stopped when he saw the serious look on their faces. He let his eyes flicker from Kurt to Blaine and then back to his son before Kurt cleared his throat to speak up.

"Uhm dad, there's something we need to discuss first. It's kind of important." Kurt avoided any kind of eye contact, but suddenly appeared to have found sudden interest in a plant on the desk of the reception.

"Let's go over here and talk," Blaine proposed and gestured for them to go to a group of chairs in a shielded corner where they could talk away from curious eyes and ears. He didn't think this message was something that should be delivered by public display.

When they sat down Kurt sat as much at the edge of his seat that he just as well could have sat on Blaine's lap. His fingers were squeezing hard making the ring on Blaine's finger cut into his skin.

Blaine desperately wanted Kurt to relax, but he didn't plan on asking him to. This was hard enough as it was.

"Look, we didn't want you to find out like this - but we thought it best to do it now, rather than having some stranger tell you when they looked over my files. So uhm -" Kurt hesitated and bit his lower lip that was so dry that blood started pebbling out from the soft movement. Kurt didn't react to it, he squeezed his lips even harder together, letting them transform to a thin line, before he let the bomb drop.

"Dad. Blaine and I are married. We did it in Vegas. It just happened. It was this spontaneous idea, and then before we knew it we were standing in front of this Elvis impersonator making our vows, and putting plastic rings on each other's fingers." The words spat out of Kurt's mouth like a waterfall, and when he finished he ended the stream by exhaling relieved. It was out. He had said it. They were now officially married.

"What do you think I'm blind or something? I saw those tacky rings the second you came home, I just wanted you to tell me yourself, and I knew you would as soon as you were ready. And look now. Guys, I know you've been scared to tell me, but there's really no reason to. I had many years of struggling with the thought that I would one day be getting a son-in-law instead of a daughter - but I gotta say, I can't imagine any girl being better for Kurt than you are. Welcome _officially _to the family, son," Burt smiled as he stood up to hug Blaine before he turned to hug Kurt who had big drops of tears rolling down his pale face.

"Congratulations. Now I guess you're telling me this because it means there's something else that needs to be written on the papers. Can I know which combination you decided to go with?" Burt asked in a teasing voice trying to lift the mood a little. The tension between them quickly disappeared as all of them felt relieved, like a big, difficult task had just been completed.

"It's - I'm Hummel-Anderson now. _We_ are Hummel-Anderson," Kurt beamed and put his arm around Blaine's waist. It felt so incredibly good to hear Kurt say it out loud to his dad right after he had given them their blessing. This was all they could wish for right now. Almost all.

They returned to the desk where a nurse had appeared and they started signing the papers, and got shown to the room where Kurt would spend the next unknown amount of days, maybe weeks. Blaine didn't dare to think that it could even be months, that was too much, too hard.

The first thing Kurt had to do was go through more tests with the same set of doctors that had followed him through the entire period of his illness.

The meetings and the tests went on all day, and Blaine loyally stayed and held Kurt's hands throughout every single one of them.

Blaine didn't say anything, but he felt like Kurt was getting paler by being in the hospital environment, though his eyes were shining a little more after they had told his dad the news.

When the doctors heard about their recent marriage they congratulated them heartedly too. Blaine was grateful that Kurt had such supportive and engaged doctors as he knew that he easily could have ended up with a group of grumpy old men.

When it got late in the afternoon, Kurt was starting to struggle to keep his eyes open, and he started coughing severely. He kept refusing but in the end Kurt gave in and let Blaine talk him into going to bed.

When Kurt had changed into his pajamas, he showed that he had brought Blaine's pillow from back home. This made Blaine feel a sting of affection in his chest, and wished that he could crawl under the covers with Kurt instead of having to sit in the chair next to him.

Kurt looked so small as he laid there in the white bed, with the wires and everything around him. Almost like a child. It was nerving and uncomfortable. Blaine couldn't help feeling that the ghosts of the hospital were swarming around them, waiting for something to go wrong so they could take Kurt away from him.

"Blaine. Would you please sing to me until I sleep?" Kurt asked in a weak voice. He had curled up on the side so he could have a clear look at him.

Blaine was completely caught off guard, but when he had taken in Kurt's words he nodded at him in agreement.

"Sure. Of course I will. What do you want me to sing?" Blaine moved the chair a little closer, making their faces within kissing distance, but just the feeling of Kurt's face close to his was enough. That was all he needed.

"That uhm - that song you sang to me the day we met, but the slow version. I love it so much when you do it on the piano. Please." Kurt's eyes had grown big and wet but he didn't cry. He let his eyes pierce into Blaine's, not even blinking, as if he was afraid that he would miss something crucial if he did.

Blaine forced a weak smile to conjure on his lips, before he swallowed a lump in his throat and started singing silently as he let his hand caress Kurt's hair.

Kurt struggled to keep his eyes open, but by the end of second verse he had to give in and fell asleep, with what Blaine thought seemed like a twitch in the corner of his mouth.


	12. Chapter 12

"Blaine, your dad got furious when I told him that you had got married. He started yelling that it was my fault, and that I had mothered you too much and kept you from toughening up. But I am so happy for you, I really am." Susan closed her hand around Blaine and Kurt's that were locked together on the armrest of Blaine's chair.

Susan had come in to visit them at the hospital, and Kurt had gladly taken the opportunity to get out of the bed and come sit with them by the window instead. Blaine was way too scared to have him wander the halls, so Kurt settled with rolling his eyes and put up with Blaine wrapping him in a blanket before they sat down.

"I did something though. And I know that you might not be happy with me for doing this, but I really think it was necessary. So please indulge me and listen to what I have to say before you get angry with me," requested Susan before she took a sip of her coffee and put the mug on the windowsill. Then she turned back to Blaine and took his free hand in her own two.

"I told your father about Kurt. About him being sick. I genuinely think he deserves to know. Even though he isn't supportive of your relationship, I think he deserves to know that his son-in-law is sick. And as I had predicted, he was shocked. He stopped yelling and calmed down. He actually sat down and listened to what I had to say. I told him about how much you have supported Kurt all the way, and I told him how strong you have been - how much of him I see in you; all those good traits I fell in love with in your father. I see them in you, Blaine, now more than ever. You have been so strong, and loyal, and you have put everything aside to stand by Kurt, and I admire you so much. And I really think that your father is proud of you, after what he's heard that you've done for Kurt. So please, when he's ready - give him another chance. I really think he is on his way to giving you another chance."

Blaine had no idea how to feel about this. His father shouldn't have to feel like "_giving him another chance_". A dad should have unlimited space for his son. Kurt on the other looked as though he had just had an epiphany.

"Mom. I know that it really means a lot to you, and I completely understand. I just - I just don't think he would come to me. Honestly; I don't think he hates _me_, but he despises what I am. And the way he talked about Kurt. I can't let that slide. I can't let anyone - anyone - talk that way about Kurt. I'm sorry." Blaine felt a burning ball of guilt in his stomach when he saw the expression on his mom's face. He sincerely wished that it didn't have to be this way. Maybe under different circumstances he wouldn't have reacted like this, but right now all that was on his mind was to protect Kurt.

"I think it's really great, honey. Maybe if your dad comes to you it would be a good idea to talk to him, try to start some sort of dialog so you can work things out between you two. Life is too sh -" Kurt hesitated before he said it. It was like he couldn't get the words over his lips. Like it would mean that he had considered the possibilities.

Blaine squeezed his hand as strongly as he could, but he could already sense that the word had poisoned its way through Kurt's body and affected him to the core. He wanted to say something to make Kurt forget what he had just said, but it was impossible. Anything that came into his mind revolved around that intoxicating subject.

The rest of the day they didn't touch the subject of Blaine's father or anything mildly depressing that could lead to any uncomfortable conversations. In fact, they kept the conversation on superficial subjects that was sure not to lead to anything deeper than the latest gossip or anything like it, while they played cards or looked through the fashion magazines Susan had brought for Kurt.

By the end of the day, Kurt begged her to come back soon, and she promised. Blaine followed her to her car while Finn, who had just arrived, stayed with Kurt.

Susan hugged Blaine for several minutes before she looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"I am so proud of you. With you by his side Kurt can do anything, I am sure he can." She kissed him on the cheek before she told him to say hi to Burt and Carol for her and then drove off. Blaine continued standing in the dark parking lot watching until the headlights were completely gone. Then he walked slowly back through the silent hospital halls to find Kurt in bed with Finn by his side.

"Hey man. You should really go home and get some sleep. I'll stay here," exclaimed Finn when he saw the state Blaine was in.

Blaine had been prepared for people to start telling him to go home, but he blankly refused.

"No thanks. I'm okay. I slept just fine in that chair last night." Blaine pointed in the direction of the world's most uncomfortable chair, making Fin skeptically raise an eyebrow at him.

"Dude, come on. You can't sleep like this every night. I'm sure Kurt will be okay with you leaving. He'll understand. You need proper sleep to be there for him." Finn's voice was a bare whisper to avoid waking up Kurt, but he wasn't giving Blaine a lecture; he was worried.

Blaine fell down in the chair next to Finn's and exhaled exhaustedly. He squeezed his eyes hard and tried to collect his thoughts but gave up. His head was buzzing with thoughts of what his mom had told about his father, and about Kurt, and how everyone would beg him to go home and sleep for the rest of Kurt's hospital stay.

"It just wouldn't do any good, you know, if I went home to sleep. I would just lie in bed and twist and turn. I wouldn't dare close my eyes because every time I close them I - dammit, Finn, all I see is Kurt lying there; cold, pale, lifeless eyes. I am so scared. What if something happens while I'm not here? What if I miss a second with him? I can't do that. I want to have every single moment with him I can get." He had said it. He had spoken the words he had tried to avoid. Up until now he hadn't told anyone about how he was afraid to close his eyes; what he saw.

"I know. I feel like that too. I mean - I can't imagine how you must feel, you're his boyfriend -" said Finn, but got interrupted by Blaine muttering.

"Husband. I'm his husband." Blaine hadn't thought about it. He had promised Kurt they would tell Finn together, but by now it had become a reflex. It had taken some time to get used to, but now it felt so much more natural to say.

"Wait, what? What did you say?" Finn asked confused, looking at Blaine like he had just found out that all of his life he had mistaken a circle for a triangle.

"Fuck. We'd agreed that we would tell people together. It was when - when we were in Vegas. The first night. In the middle of the night, Kurt woke up, and we went for a walk through the city, and we ended up at a chapel. Kurt planned it all out in his head when we left the hotel. I didn't know, though. Suddenly we were standing in front of this horrendous chapel, and - well, Kurt proposed to me. I couldn't do anything but say yes." Blaine smiled to himself by the memory. That had truly been the best day of his life.

Finn didn't respond. He just sat staring at Blaine with his mouth ajar, his eyes witnessing that his brain was overloading. At first it seemed like he hadn't really caught Blaine's words, but then his expression changed, almost as if he didn't really believe it.

"But - does it… So we're like - brothers-in-law now? Who even knows?" Finn blinked a few times as if to help the news sink better in.

"Yeah. We're officially related now. Well, we told Puck, and Burt of course, I guess he told Carol. And then we told my mom. It's not like we wanna put it on display or anything, but I guess that by now we should come with some sort of - official statement," Blaine explained while he let it run through his mind realizing how comfortable and natural he felt about it.

"Of course you should. You need to tell Sam, and Rachel, and - just everyone," Finn began eagerly, but Blaine stopped him.

"It's not that we don't want people to know. It just hasn't felt necessary. And I - I'm starting to think that we need to convince Kurt that it's time for him to tell his friends that he's sick. We owe them that after how much they've been through together. And we just don't want people to think that we did this because he's sick. We did this because we wanted to; because we love each other and wanna be together forever."

Blaine twisted the ring around his finger. He couldn't quite believe how happy he had got about that ugly piece of plastic. They had agreed to get a real set of rings once they got home and had made it official, but right now Blaine didn't want another ring. He just wanted this one. It had been the rings they had given each other after they had told each other their vows, and it was the ring that symbolized their relationship. Maybe when they got older. If -

"I don't think they're gonna think that way. Really, it's only just been a matter of time. Next to Tina and Mike you guys were the only ones from high school we just waited for an announcement from. Tina and Mike have been engaged forever, so we don't really expect them to get married anytime soon. They're fine the way they are. But you guys - we were just waiting for you to get engaged and announce a wedding - it just fits. Like this is the way it's supposed to be for you." Finn tried to ease Blaine's mind, and it was nice. It was rare that they had time to sit down and really talk, and Blaine relaxed in a way he hadn't done for a long time.

"So - did you do the whole thing? With the vows and the champagne and all? So did he carry you over the doorstep or the way around or what?" Finn was clearly curious as to how it had felt to get married. He didn't have a girlfriend, and hadn't had any since he and Rachel broke up after she had been in New York for a few months. There was no question that he missed her and that he had imagined himself to have these things with her.

"Yeah. We did the vows and the champagne and that stuff. There wasn't any carrying over any doorstep though. We were both in our pjs, and just wanted to get back to our warm hotel room." Blaine chuckled by the thought of the night. Even though it had only been a few weeks ago, it felt like it was years ago.

"And the wedding night? Did you do all that, or was it just like - was he too exhausted after everything that had happened?" Finn didn't look at Blaine. He was clearly intrigued by the idea of hearing every single detail, but he was embarrassed by hearing himself ask.

"I'm not gonna tell you about our wedding night, Finn!" Blaine burst out embarrassed feeling his face grow red.

"Well, no. He certainly wasn't exhausted. It was - let's just say it was amazing. Like - magic." He couldn't believe that he was actually telling Finn about it, but it felt really good. It had been way too long since he had been able to have a casual conversation without feeling that he had to suppress all these heavy issues he had constantly hanging over his head. He had needed this so bad - to talk without caring, and now that they had started he was afraid to pause and find out that he had to stop.

"Yeah. I bet the Vegas air does something to you. Like it changes ones boundaries and the way you feel," Finn joined in with a smirk.

"Not really. Kurt's always magic. That's just how he is - like he's some sort of enchanted creature from another world. Wow, maybe I really do need to get some sleep, I'm talking nonsense here." Blaine hid his face in his hands and realized how tired he actually was; in his entire body, and his head and eyes. He was so concerned about Kurt that he hadn't had any time to take care of himself.

"No. I mean, yeah, obviously you do need sleep. But I've always liked the way you talk about Kurt. Like he could be standing in a crowd of a million guys, and even though you'd be blindfolded you would still be able to find him just by a touch. It's inspiring, and something I think everyone should wish for. Like when Kurt talks about you, he was like that even when you were just friends - he would talk about you like you were the sun or something. I've never seen anything like it in my life." Finn wasn't smirking anymore, he was dead serious. Blaine couldn't remember ever having heard him talk like that, but he deeply appreciated it.

"Blaine. You're not gonna leave, are you?" Kurt's voice was dragging, like he had been awake for days. He lifted his hand and stretched his fingers to show that he wanted Blaine to take it, and Blaine rushed to move closer.

"Kurt. Of course I'm not gonna leave. We thought you were asleep. Is everything okay?" Blaine felt a sudden panic rise inside him, like it had been on mute but out of nowhere the volume had been turned to max.

"I can't sleep. Will you sing to me? Like yesterday?" Kurt clearly hadn't energy to speak, but he struggled so hard.

"Of course I will sing to you, honey. What song?" He didn't know why he asked. He already knew what Kurt was going to reply with, the same song he wished for every night since he got to the hospital; but it felt like this was the right procedure.

"Teenage Dream. Like when we met, but that slow version you do on the piano. It chases away my bad dreams." Kurt hugged Blaine's pillow, and squeezed his hand while heaving for breath.

Blaine looked briefly to Finn who looked uncomfortably by intruding on this intimate moment. Then he had to swallow to stop the tears from welling up in his eyes, and started signing silently, just audible enough for Kurt to hear it while he let his hand caress Kurt's hair.

Finn left the room to find some coffee, and after Blaine had sung the same song three times Kurt finally fell asleep, and then Blaine fell asleep with his head resting on the mattress next to their folded hands.

The next few days Blaine spent on calling their friends and telling them about Kurt.

The day after he and Finn had talked about it Kurt had brought it up himself. He told Blaine that it was okay, that they deserved to know now. Kurt had felt awful that day and hadn't even been able to leave the bed. That was the day the nurses had put up an oxygen tank next to his bed. Like a horrific monster hovering over them.

It was terrible having to tell their friends over the phone. He had paced the hospital halls with his cell phone in his hand trying to find out what would be the proper thing to say, but in the end he knew that it was just an excuse to try to avoid the inevitable, and he had promised Kurt to do it. Kurt would never be able to do it himself.

Everyone was in shock. Rachel had started crying, and Blaine had barely been able to understand a word she was saying. Mike had grown silent and after a minute, he promised to tell Tina. Brittany had been confused, but after a while she said that she and Santana would come as soon as possible. All of them had promised to come back to Lima.

Sam had been the hardest. There had been a short moment of silence and then he had hung up without a word. Blaine had just stared at the display, not knowing whether he should call back or leave Sam to some time to digest the news. He didn't even get the time to think it through before his phone started ringing.

"I'm sorry, dude. It was just - I can't believe it. I'll get a flight right away. I should be there tonight." Sam's voice had been thick and bewildered and Blaine hadn't even been able to get a word in before he hung up.

True enough Sam had been there later that day. He had come straight from the airport and called Blaine from the cab. Puck had met him in the hospital parking lot where he had rushed inside demanding to be taken straight to Kurt's room.

"I'm sorry I'm so late, I couldn't get an earlier flight," said Sam as he threw his arms around Kurt who was sitting on the bed.

Kurt did his best to return the hug, but Blaine could see that he had to struggle to keep his arms around Sam.

"But why, _why _didn't you tell me?" Sam didn't sound judgmental, more hurt and stressed.

"If you had told me I could have gotten here before. Kurt, you _fool_. You know I would have come here for you." He pushed his suitcase under the nightstand with his foot, and let a hand brush over Kurt's cheek.

"I didn't want you to worry about me. You don't need that, and I'm fine. Look at me, all chipper and everything." Kurt raised his arms to do the jazz hands, but started coughing and hurried to cover his mouth quickly.

"You're not fine. Don't lie to me, Hummel. You're really sick." Sam rolled his eyes as he sat down on the chair next to the bed.

"That was just - an unlucky coincidence. - Don't you dare - hold it against me." Kurt had to pause between words for coughing, with every painful gasp making Blaine wince.

Sam shot a glance at Blaine, and there was no questioning what he was thinking. Sam's face was painted in a scared frown. He locked his hand around Kurt's on the mattress. Then he looked up to Kurt, scrutinizing every single detail of his face.

"How have you been? Tell me about your life," Kurt said in a desperate attempt to turn the conversation away from his own state.

Sam told about his school and his friends. He told about his siblings, and how they were doing really great after they had left Lima. He spoke a long time about his job at a sports equipment store and how nice his colleagues were to him. He had already made it as junior manager, and he played quarterback on the local football team.

While Sam spoke, Blaine observed how Kurt was absorbing every word. Kurt's eyes were shining and a slight hint of a smile covered his lips. It was good to see him like this. Blaine hadn't seen him this happy in a very long time, and it was a comforting difference to the usual scared tint in his eyes.

"I missed you so much, Sam," peeped Kurt. He laid back down and tipped his head a little on the pillow as he yawned.

"I missed you too, Hummel. Are you tired? It's late, I know." Sam looked apologetically from Kurt to Blaine.

"No. I don't wanna sleep yet, you just got here. I'm not that tired," Kurt rushed, but had to hide yet another yawn as his eyelids started drifting.

"Hey. Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere. I'll go find some coffee and when you wake up I'll be sitting here with Blaine," Sam assured with a promise in his eyes.

Puck was standing by the door waiting. He already knew that when Kurt was about to sleep he wanted Blaine to sing to him so that was about the time where he made his way out to find candy or cokes.

Sam got up from his chair and followed Puck down the hall. Right before he left the room he turned and smiled at Kurt in a promise that he'd hurry back.

Blaine moved over to sit in Sam's chair where he let his fingers intertwine with Kurt's. He let his eyes bore deep into Kurt's to see if he somehow could figure out what he was thinking, but nothing came through. Kurt had turned into a complete mystery.

"Thank you for getting him out here, Blaine. I missed him so much." Kurt let his thumb caress Blaine's before he closed his eyes.

"Blaine. Would you - would you kiss me?" His voice was weak and insecure, he opened his eyes that were glistening as if he was on the edge of tears, and yet not.

"Kiss you? Of course, silly. If I could I would kiss you all the time," Blaine burst out in disbelief. He stood up and leaned in over the bed. When his lips met Kurt's he couldn't help noticing how dry Kurt's lips were, but he promised himself not to mention it.

"Thank you, baby. That was nice," Kurt said dozy with a smile on his lips as he let his fingers run through Blaine's curls before Blaine hurried to sit down as he smiled back at him.

"You should really get a shave, your face is all stubbly. If you wait any longer you'll end up looking like a savage." The more he talked the more he was heaving for breath, and Blaine ended up putting a finger to his lips to hush him.

"Shhh, I'll fix it. I promise. Now let me sing you to sleep, so you can get some more energy to be with Sam tomorrow." Blaine swallowed and blinked a few times to get control of his emotions.

Then he sat down and started singing quietly, as he did it every night waiting for Kurt to fall asleep.

The following week was filled with their friends coming in and out of the hospital. On several occasions Blaine actually had to ask some of them to wait out in the hall to not overcrowd the tiny room.

It took Kurt an unbelievable amount of energy to even see people every day, and in the end Burt had to tell them to not come by so often. He was really overwhelmed by how many people had put their lives on standby to come from all parts of the country to support Kurt in this hard time.

Blaine could easily feel the change in Kurt the days where no one but Puck, Finn, Burt and Carol stopped by. Of course Blaine was there all the time. He never left, no matter how much people told him to go home to sleep and shower.

It had been days since he had showered, his curls were running wild around his face and Kurt kept telling him to get a shave, but Blaine didn't care. To do those usual every day things meant to leave Kurt in the hospital and he couldn't do that. What if something happened while he was 30 minutes away?

It was late night and Blaine had sung Kurt to sleep as usual. Burt and Carol had drove home, so all that was left by Kurt's side were Blaine and Puck.

They sat in the chairs they were almost living in lately and didn't say a word. It was like they didn't need to, because they both knew how each other felt, and the unspoken agreement of not mentioning Kurt's condition was hanging over them like a deep, dark, depressing cloud.

The machines, oxygen tanks, tubes and strings that were all around Kurt made it look like they had stepped into a science fiction movie.

As Kurt lay there, not even looking like himself anymore, he most of all resembled a papier-mâché replica of himself, and it scared Blaine.

He was tired; so incredibly, unbearably tired. Blaine just wished that he could put Kurt in his car and drive home so they could curl up around each other and sleep. In Kurt's bed; in _their_ bed.

All Blaine wanted was to be close with his husband. But he couldn't.

He shook his head to get rid of the thought. It kept haunting him, stronger and stronger every day, but he was starting to face that it might not happen ever again.

Blaine yawned as he wondered why Puck was being so quiet. He never was. Even in the times where everyone else just wanted to relax and unwind Puck would always find a way to break the silence and lighten the dark atmosphere; but tonight he hadn't said a word since he had returned to his chair.

Blaine casually looked to his side thinking that Puck might simply just have fallen asleep. He hadn't, in fact what Blaine saw shocked him.

Big, fat tears were streaming quietly down Puck's face and his mouth was twisted in a painful grimace while he was staring wide eyed at Kurt in the bed in front of them.

This was strange and awkward. Puck was always the one to comfort them whenever they were having a breakdown, so what should Blaine do now? He didn't even know if Puck had even realized that Blaine knew that he was crying.

Blaine took a quick decision, and without a word shifted his arm on the armrest so he could close his hand around Puck's. It only took a second before Puck turned his hand so he could close his around Blaine's in return, before he broke out in a heartbreaking sob and moved to hide his face against the hollow spot under Blaine's chin, making Blaine wrap his free arm around the crying boy's shoulders.

"It's just so unfair. Look at him - he's so freaking young, man. How could anyone ever take him away from us? He can't just leave us here. And you - you two only just got married. You should be together, live together and do whatever married couples do. Not be in a hospital locked to a bed like this. What the fuck have we done wrong?" Puck sobbed into Blaine's collarbone.

As confused and pained as Blaine was he had no idea what to say. He felt the same way; there was no denying those feelings.

Puck's tears were soaking Blaine's shirt, but he didn't care. He had let his own tears start falling and drip down into Puck's muffled Mohawk, clenching as hard as he could around his friend's shoulders.

After they had sat sobbing, holding each other for a few minutes Puck raised to sit straight in his own chair again. He looked up at Blaine with the most heartbreaking look in his eyes that Blaine had ever seen.

"I think - I think I'm starting to lose my faith in God. If there really is a God, and if God really loves us, then why would he ever do this to someone like Kurt? You know, I just can't love a God that would do this." Puck closed his eyes, tears still strolling from his eyes, clenching his teeth with his hand still squeezing Blaine's as hard as ever.

"And you, you're so freaking strong. You just sit here every night, every day, holding his hand, singing to him, doing everything to keep up his mood. I don't know how you do it. If it was someone I was in love with - I just couldn't do it. I would have walked away months ago. You're goddamn special, Anderson," Puck squeezed out through heartfelt sobbing, as he let his free hand up to cup Blaine's face.

Suddenly affection for Puck rushed in over Blaine. All the way through he had been so focused on Kurt that he had completely forgotten to think how their friends were feeling. How could he forget to consider that when Puck loyally sat with him as often as he could during the late nights of watching Kurt sleep?

He just wanted to embrace Puck, and kiss him, and hug him forever.

Not in a romantic way. Blaine just needed to somehow show Puck how much he appreciated his friendship, and the fact that he even stayed - loyally. Without him Kurt might not have made it so far, because he was the one to always keep the spirit up when everyone else was ready to throw in the towel.

"I love you, Noah. Kurt does too. I wish I could ever tell you how much it means to me, to us, that you are here. We could never have asked for a better friend than you," Blaine said struggling not to let his voice break.

Their conversation was set in a whispered tone, as they were both afraid to wake up Kurt.

Blaine had promised himself that he wouldn't let Kurt see him break down; that was the last thing he needed at the moment, and as Blaine had the long nights he might as well cry his soul out while everyone else were asleep.

Puck smiled grateful back from a soaked face. Blaine almost couldn't see him through his own tears, but he didn't care. It had been a relief to say the words out loud. He couldn't believe they had been friends with Puck for so long without even once telling him that they truly loved him. No one had been there more for them than Puck.

Even before Kurt got sick it had always been Puck they had come to. When they had been fighting and they both were upset about it, they had always called Puck who had guided both of them through their frustrations so they could talk it through. When there had been something one of them felt was needed to discuss, they had come to Puck for an objective opinion. Whenever there had been the slightest problem, they would call Puck. And he would always be there.

"I love you guys too. You're my best friends. I can't picture a world without you - and Kurt, poor Kurt." He broke down again, and Blaine dragged him back into a close consoling hug. It had been such a long time since Blaine had last been giving consoling attention to anyone than Kurt, and it actually felt good. It was nice and comforting to know that he could be there for others too. Lately he felt like he had just been sucking energy and life out of people in order for them to be by Kurt's side, and he had nothing to give back.

The rest of the night Blaine and Puck held each others hands and didn't spoke. It felt like it wasn't necessary for them to use words - each others presence and affection was enough.

Eventually Puck fell asleep with his head resting on the mattress next to Kurt's head, leaving Blaine in the dark observing as their chests rose and fell in perfect sync.

Every time Blaine's eyelids started drifting closed, he opened them a little wider in fear that he would fall asleep and not be able to watch over Kurt.


	13. Chapter 13

"Blaine. This doesn't go. Now you are gonna come down to the car with me, and we'll drive home so you can get a shower and an hour or two of sleep. Burt and Finn are staying with Kurt, so don't you worry about that." Carol cupped Blaine's face in her hand with a maternal look in her eyes, but her voice was sharp and determined.

Blaine was holding Kurt's hand firmly, even though Kurt had been asleep for over an hour. Blaine had tried to get some sleep himself by resting his head on the bed, but he hadn't succeeded.

It was around noon and the hospital was buzzing, alive with voices and people walking in the halls.

Earlier that day Kurt's doctors had been in to check up on him, and while a nurse had changed the sheets Blaine had helped Kurt taking a bath. He was way too weak to take care of those things himself now.

Blaine's eyes were hurting, and his eyesight was blurry from his lack of sleep. His muscles were sore, and his head had started to become constantly unfocused.

"I knew this would come. I'm really fine, Caro -" Blaine started, but Carol stopped him before he could finish his objection.

"I don't wanna hear any of that. You are not fine, and it's completely okay. Just come, Blaine. We'll get you back to Kurt as quickly as possible."

And that was it. Blaine was perfectly aware that when Carol talked in that tone she was not to be argued with.

He looked at Kurt in front of him, and squeezed his hand as hard as he could.

Did Kurt squeeze back, or was he imagining things?

Blaine stood up from his chair, eyes locked on Kurt, feeling Carol's fixated gaze on him as he bend down to kiss Kurt's forehead.

"I'll hurry back. I promise. You won't even have time to miss me. I love you," Blaine whispered before he stood up and followed Carol out of the room, where Burt and Finn were waiting in the hall to go in.

Nobody said a word, they just shot him sympathetic smiles. Carol hugged Burt tight before they left. Still not a word. Did Burt look like he had been crying?

The drive to the Hummel-Hudson house was silent. They didn't even turn on the radio. Blaine felt awfully guilty about leaving Kurt behind, and kept turning his wedding ring over and over on his finger while staring blankly out the windshield.

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Carol sending him concerned glances, whenever the road allowed her to look away for a brief second, but neither of them spoke.

Once they entered the house Blaine realized that he had to go to Kurt's room. Without Kurt. The room that Kurt hadn't been to for almost a month.

Blaine twisted and turned his brain to find an excuse to postpone it just a minute or two longer, but he couldn't.

Carol let a hand softly stroke over his back, and he knew that it was his cue to get it over with.

Kurt's room felt oddly like a mix of home and the unknown. It was strange.

The silence of the room was pressing on his lungs, making it hard for Blaine to breath.

Blaine couldn't understand how this was the room where they had once laughed, cried, danced and cuddled in. This was the bed where they had spent hours of closeness, talking, watching movies and having sex - _making love_.

Now it was silent and alienated. Like a replica of that room he had come to know as home, when his parents' home couldn't house him anymore.

Blaine walked to the bathroom and started stripping off his clothes in a catatonic state, doing his best not to recall the memories that were clashing in on him, even though they were fighting each other to get his attention before the others.

As he entered the shower he felt confused, and realized he had forgot how to do every day stuff such as showering or brushing his teeth. His brain just didn't hold room for such trivial things anymore.

Now it didn't matter how long he was standing with the water running down over him; the healing effect he had once imagined the water to have on him was gone. The cancer was everywhere.

He could smell it in his clothes, on his fingers, even in the smell of Kurt's room even though it had been so long since Kurt had been there himself.

When he was done he put on his boxers and went back into Kurt's room to sit on the bed. He couldn't be bothered to put on his clothes yet.

Carol had told him that she had to run some errands in town, so he could get a nap while she was away. Then what was the point in him getting dressed if he couldn't go back to Kurt?

Blaine laid down on Kurt's bed to wait, and fell asleep. The pillows and the bedspread still smelled like Kurt, but as if they were in some distant memory. It was the old smell of Kurt; the smell of Kurt without the cancer, the smell of a happy healthy boy, the smell of his shampoo and deodorant, the smell of his laughter and gentle touch.

Puck woke up Blaine making him panic. He had forgot how it felt to sleep in a bed, instead of in the chair next to Kurt's hospital bed, holding Kurt's hand faithfully only just enough asleep to still hear the hushed conversations around him, and the tapping of the nurses tripping around the room so he would be able to wake up if anything was to happen.

Blaine was just too scared to close his eyes. A horrifying voice in the back of his head kept saying that he couldn't miss a second because it might be the last. He did his best to push the voice away, even though in his heart he knew that it was the truth. He heard the doctors tell him that they were optimistic, but he didn't believe the tone they said it in. They talked with that voice doctors use to distance themselves from a patient in an ill-fated state.

As he had been sleeping the same nightmares had tormented his dreams. The well-known nightmare of the small vicious creatures feeding off Kurt's blood, the creepy scene of him singing _Blackbird _at Kurt's funeral holding the hand of his mom and Kurt's ghost, disturbing frames of Kurt; lifeless and pale dressed in black - the same horrible views that returned every time Blaine closed his eyes, even blinking.

"Hey man. Easy. It's just me," Puck said carefully when Blaine woke up in a rush. It wasn't until he saw Puck's disturbed look that Blaine realized he had screamed and his cheeks were wet.

"I'm sorry, Puck. I just - bad dream, you know," Blaine explained, still trying to shake off the terrifying images.

"Yeah, I know. I keep having them too. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for you." Puck looked around the room, as if he could smell the changes as well.

"I dream about him being like - you know, and you just being all…" Puck didn't finish the sentence. He just sat with his mouth ajar for a second, before he closed it and sent Blaine an apologetic glance - as if he wanted to apologize for even thinking of such a thought.

That was the second the guilt hit Blaine. He had no idea how long it had been since he had left the hospital, so he started frantically fumbling around for his phone before he realized that he was clasping it in his one hand.

No messages, no unanswered calls.

"_No news is good news" _Blaine thought to himself before he stood up and put on his jacket.

"I met Carol in town and she said that you were here asleep, so she asked me to come and drive you back to the hospital while she fixed some things. I hope it's cool," Puck explained, his brows furrowed in a worried expression.

"We'd better get going. I've been gone for way too long. I just -" But Puck stopped him with an understanding look, and made a gesture reminding Blaine that he was still in his underwear.

Blaine rushed embarrassedly off the bed and hurried to put on some clothes, and then they left the room.

As neither of them spoke during the ride to the hospital Blaine was sure that Puck was avoiding the elephant in the room as much as he was. The thing they didn't talk about. The unmentionable. The unspoken knowledge.

It was too much. The air in the car was thick and Blaine needed so heart achingly to talk about it. To let all of his pain and stinging spill on the floor and not give a care in the world about who he was talking to - but he had a constant fear in the back of his head that if he spoke it out loud it would come true. Too many Disney movies, he was well aware, but he wasn't planning on taking that risk.

When they got to the hospital they found Burt in the hall talking to Blaine's mom. Finn and Rachel were with Kurt, so Burt and Susan had decided to go for coffee to not overcrowd Kurt.

Blaine could feel it as a slap in the face the second their eyes met. His mom's sympathy. It felt as if she didn't see him as her son, but as if she saw him as a poor boy who needed someone to take care of him. Didn't she know that he needed his mom?

He knew that he was being irrational, and that the stress was making him draw far off conclusions. Blaine and Puck walked over to them, hugging his mom and greeting Burt.

"How is he? Is it very bad?" Blaine asked before either of them could say anything. He couldn't help feeling that while he had been away the whole world had changed without his knowledge.

"He's very tired, but keeps saying that he's fine. As always with Kurt. But the doctors are coming in two hours and they'll tell us the results of the latest tests. Kurt asked them to wait until you got here," Burt explained, his voice soft and his face exhausted.

Blaine wondered how much sleep he was getting.

Burt and Susan asked if he and Puck wanted to join them for coffee in the cafeteria, but Blaine declined. Puck sent Blaine and asking look, as if to get his permission to follow them. Blaine nodded at them and watched as they disappeared down the hall.

Blaine wanted to go in to join Finn and Rachel with Kurt but instead he stayed outside and looked through the little window in the door. He watched as Rachel crammed Kurt's hand close with dried tear trails down her face, and Finn a foot apart trying to hide his own tears.

After some time the door opened and Finn and Rachel left Kurt's room.

Rachel's eyes were swollen and puffy and she did her best to send him a smile, but it looked more like a forced grimace than anything else.

Finn let his arm brush against Blaine's shoulder as if in recognition that he wanted to hug Blaine, but felt it awkward to do so in front of Rachel. Instead Finn settled for stroking Blaine's arm and leading Rachel down the hall as he saw how Blaine was tripping to leave them behind so he could see Kurt.

As Blaine entered the room he realized how noticeable it had become that Kurt was so drained for power that it was starting to look like his skin was stretched out directly over his bones. His hair was free off the shine it had always had, his eyes were glasslike and his skin was ashy.

"Hey gorgeous. I was starting to fear that you had forgot about me," Kurt said in a rasp voice when Blaine came around the bed to stand by his side.

Blaine swallowed, trying to not focus on how fragile Kurt looked in front of him, struggling to force a smile.

"I could never forget you, you airhead," Blaine responded thickly as he let his fingers slide in between Kurt's.

Kurt fought a heated battle to return his smile, his lungs fighting their own war to keep him breathing.

Blaine sat down in the chair, and listened to Kurt talk about Finn and Rachel's visit, and how Sam had promised to stop by the next day.

Whenever Kurt tried to talk, Blaine had to help him with the oxygen mask every second word.

Blaine would stroke his hair, hold his hand and hum quietly to him, and Kurt would try desperately to at least smile at Blaine in gratitude, but most of the times he couldn't.

Kurt quickly had to sleep, because even keeping his eyes open had turned into an exhausting struggle.

It was painful for Blaine to even be in the room, but it was even more excruciating to not be there. If he left for just a minute all he could think of was that he needed to hurry back to Kurt, he couldn't stop thinking about all the things that could happen while he was away, so in the end he just refused to get up.

When it was time for the doctors to come Kurt started talking around Blaine being there during the meeting. He kept asking whether he was sure that he didn't want to go somewhere to relax instead, but all Blaine had to say was: "_You're my husband, and I am not leaving your side_" and Kurt had known that there was no way around it.

The whole setting was unbelievably uncomfortable. Blaine was standing next to the bed, Kurt sitting up, with Burt and Carol sitting in the chairs, their hands locked waiting for whatever news the doctors might have to bring them.

The two doctors who had been following Kurt throughout the entire process of his disease that was standing in front of them with grave looks on their faces. This made a chill creep under Blaine's skin and he had to stop himself from squeezing Kurt's hand too hard.

"Listen, Kurt - the last blood tests we ran on you didn't show any increasing in the cancer cells; but they didn't show any less either. We still see an opportunity in you getting better though, so don't lose all faith just yet. You've been standing strong, and your family has too. I can't promise you anything, because there has really been no development in any direction for you, but I can tell you that I am keeping my spirit optimistic for you," one of the doctors explained with a pokerface that was Gus Hansen worthy.

Nobody responded. It felt like a nuclear bomb had just been dropped in the room and all that was left now was the ear pounding silence of the aftermath.

Blaine wanted to shift to see Kurt's reaction but he couldn't bring himself to do it, so instead he kept staring at the doctor; a nice man in his mid-thirties who was crazily good looking and had revealed that he had spend most of his teenage years with a boyfriend rather than a girlfriend.

Blaine felt like he was staring, but in reality he didn't even see the man. All he saw was fog in front of him, blur, mist - a mixed of colors before his eyes making it harder for him to focus and follow what was happening around him.

"Thank you, doctor. I guess there's not much we can do then," responded Burt after long silence. It sounded like a boulder was weighing on his chest, and Blaine felt a need to throw his arms around his father-in-law. His dad.

"Unfortunately not. I wish there was something I could say, but as for now I've got nothing. How about you, Kurt? Do you have any questions? Anything to add?" The doctor addressed Kurt in a soft voice speaking to Kurt as more of a hurt friend, than a patient, a stranger.

Blaine still didn't look at Kurt, but he felt him shaking his head, hearing his breathing rasp and fighting in Kurt's throat.

"If there's nothing more I will have to get on with my schedule, but you know where to find me if you should need anything, right? A nurse will come and take some new tests next week as usual." The doctor shook hands with everyone, letting a hand stroke over Kurt's cheek before he wished them good luck and left the room followed by his colleague.

Blaine didn't understand why he always brought the second doctor. He never said anything, so why did he have to stand there and hover over them like that? It was creepy and uncomfortable.

The atmosphere in the room was thick with taboo after the doctors left. They all knew that if anyone tried mentioning the conversation Kurt would tell them to leave, so none of them dared to bring it up, and the rest of the day was uneventful, except for Sam's visit.

Sam had brought Kurt a little box that had held a little silver G clef pin. Sam fastened it on the pillowcase of Blaine's pillow that Kurt still held religiously onto.

Kurt had thanked him with tears in his eyes, a battle to hug back when Sam embraced him.

Sam left after an hour of talking about all and nothing, and Blaine followed him to the hall where he hugged Sam long and closely in a desperate attempt to show his gratitude.

As they had let go off each other Sam had squeezed Blaine's tricep as if to show that he knew exactly what it was Blaine couldn't put into words.

Blaine returned to the room where he found Kurt on Blaine's pillow ready for Blaine to sing him to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

The next day Blaine demanded no one come visit Kurt, except for the immediate family, which of course included Puck too. Kurt had been extremely depressed from the beginning of the day, and Blaine made him agree that he needed some rest from seeing all of those people without break.

Kurt spent the entire day drifting in and out of sleep, making Blaine refuse to leave his chair. He kept telling people that he was tired himself, but silently he knew that he was refusing to leave so he could stay and keep an eye on Kurt's breathing. This had been such a regular pastime for him lately, and he felt horrible that he thought it was needed, but it made him calm to observe Kurt's rising and falling chest keeping its steady pace.

Blaine felt that Kurt's hand were getting even colder. He could see that his lips were more dry and purple than they used to be, and he was darker around the eyes. Blaine wanted to scream and trash the entire room, but he knew that it wouldn't Kurt opened his eyes Blaine hurried to wipe the tears from his eyes and squeeze his hand gently, afraid to crush it with too hard of a grip.

"Hey beautiful. How did you sleep?" He was struggling to keep his voice even, but as he saw how empty Kurt's eyes seemed he knew it was bound to betray him.

"Don't. I know I look horrible." Kurt's own voice was rasp and it sounded as if he had been on a major bender the night before - but that was the way he had sounded for a long time now. He hadn't been able to sing for weeks, and Blaine was desperately missing his voice.

"That's not true. To me you'll always be beautiful," said Blaine as he fought for a smile to break through on his Kurt's face became very firm, and Blaine knew that he was about to talk about what they didn't talk about. Blaine also knew that this was what Kurt had spent all the previous day and the whole night on gathering up the energy to say.

Kurt knew that Blaine would refuse to discuss it, because deep down he knew that it was necessary - that it was so close looked out of the window, and then back to the white sheets and the tubes running from Kurt's nostrils as transparent snakes trying to suck the life out of him.

"I know that - you don't wanna hear this, but please.. listen to me." Kurt was begging, and his steel gray eyes were stronger than Blaine had seen them in a very long didn't say anything, but merely bit his lower lip in agreement.

"When - it happens; I don't want you to stop singing. I want you to sing songs and be happy. Find someone to share your life with. I want you to live, Blaine. I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy, Blaine." Kurt started coughing critically as he ended the last sentence, and for a second Blaine feared that he had to call for help, but Kurt used all his power to tighten his grip around Blaine's hand to stop him from doing so.

"Please," was all he could say. He clearly didn't have any more strength, and Blaine just wished that he could make him sleep some more, but he knew that this wasn't over until he had given Kurt his promise.

"But I don't want to be happy with anyone but you. I don't think I can." This was it. His voice broke, and he let the tears fall."Kurt, I love you. I can't see myself with anyone but you. You know that. Whenever I sing _I am singing for you._" For a brief second he wanted to slap Kurt for even suggesting him to be with someone else, but just as quickly he wanted to kiss him deep and passionately for just wishing for him to be happy even when he would be gone himself.

"I know that, Blaine. But I don't want to stand in your way for happiness. You should meet someone and fall in love - get married and have kids. I wish we could have all those things together, but - we can't." Kurt was heaving for breath and his cheeks were turning blue, so Blaine hurried to get the oxygen mask on the machine next to the bed.

He gently placed the mask over Kurt's mouth and let his hand caress his hair. Kurt's forehead was cold and clammy from the fever, and as Blaine let his fingers through the hair on the back of his head he realized that a lump of hair was sticking to his palm.

Blaine panicked and shoved the hair into his pocket to protect Kurt from seeing it. He knew that Kurt would be devastated if he found out that he was losing his hair. Blaine did promise that he would tell him if it happened, but all of that seemed so distant now; like a different life.

Blaine saw it as an investment in Kurt's happiness, so he didn't see it as breaking his promise - after all; he had made another promise to keep Kurt happy no matter what, and Blaine valued that so much more than anything else.

"Tina called yesterday. She wanted to know how you're feeling, and then she asked if her and Mike could stop by soon." Blaine put on a brave smile as he watched the love of his life struggle just to put on an excited spark in his eyes.

"I told her that your dad and Finn are coming today, so we agreed that they'll come over Friday. They're really looking forward to see you." Blaine had sat down in the chair that he had grown so attached to over the last month that Kurt had been in the hospital.

He didn't want to tell Kurt but he was starting to consider dropping out of college for now. He was so far behind now that he couldn't see any way to pass, and he was determined not to leave Kurt's side until he was better. He wouldn't even consider the alternative - that Kurt might not go home in the end.

Blaine was still clinging to the dream that their future together featured more travels and their marriage growing into house and kids, even though a voice inside him kept screaming that he should wake up and face the reality. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. He had the sense that the second he started pushing away the dream that Kurt would come home and they would continue their life together that would be the second Kurt would lose the fight.

He looked down on plastic ring on his finger, the ring that matched the one on Kurt's hand, and let it bring back the memories.

Kurt did his best to let his thumb caress Blaine's but had to give up halfway. He just didn't have the energy to it. Instead he tried desperately to hide a yawn in the pillow, but Blaine couldn't let it slide.

"Oh baby, are you tired?" Blaine started to fumble with his pillows to make it more comfortable for him to sleep.

"I don't wanna sleep. I wanna spend time with you," Kurt pouted, a voice that resembled one of a stubborn child.

"But sweetie, you're exhausted. You need to get some rest. I won't leave you. I'm gonna stay right here by your side even when you're sleeping."

Kurt still looked unsatisfied, but he clearly knew that the battle was lost.

"Would you please sing for me then?" It was the same every time he was to sleep; Kurt would ask him to sing for him, using a pleading voice and Blaine would ask which song even though the answer never changed. Surely it was the same today.

"The one you sang the day we met - but the slow version. Please." And Blaine faithfully started the slow song about how Kurt was his teenage dream, while he watched his eyelids drift closed and he would fall asleep.

And what happened afterwards was also the same every day; as soon as he was sure that Kurt was fast asleep he would break down. He had promised himself not to let Kurt see how destroyed he was inside, and he still hadn't lost control in front of him.

"Hey son. Come here." Blaine had been sitting with his face hidden in the sheets when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Burt and Finn had entered the hospital room to find a crying Blaine next to the bed.

As soon as Blaine heard Burt's voice and felt his hand he got up from his chair to let himself disappear in the arms of his father-in-law. Burt slowly started stroking his hair letting him get it all out.

"He's just so young. It's not fair," was all Blaine could get out between the sobs as he looked up.

Finn was pale and had his gaze locked on Kurt in the bed. He looked so tiny and fragile; as if he would shatter from a blow of the wind or a door getting slammed. Lately he had lost a lot of weight and the chemo was sucking out all of his strength.

Some days he could be full of life and chat wildly about everything, and other days he wouldn't even have the energy to say two words. Blaine had never been so scared in his life, and it was excruciating to hide it. He just felt that he wouldn't bother Kurt with it - he had enough to deal with.

"I know, son. I tell myself the same thing every day," Burt said in a silent voice. His touch was consoling and fatherly which only made Blaine feel his heart shatter just a tad more.

It was incredibly uncomfortable to be outside the hospital instead of in Kurt's room. Blaine kept shifting on the bench, and looked nervously around the yard, like he was breaking the law and would get caught any minute now.

"Hey man. Sorry I'm late. Thanks for coming, I know how much you don't wanna leave Kurt alone." Sam sat down on the bench next to Blaine, his face grave and his voice apologetic.

"That's alright. I mean - Burt and Finn are with him, and Puck and Carol are up there too so… yeah." Blaine was struggling to keep his mind straight on the barely started conversation, but he couldn't. His thoughts kept drifting upstairs with Kurt, while his fingers fumbled with his phone in his pocket to make sure he didn't miss a text or a call.

"You're so strong, man. I really admire you. How you just sit there and not let anything get to you. You're just there for him, you know. Anyway, that's not why I asked you to meet me here." Sam drew a heavy breath as if he needed to talk himself into saying what he was about to say.

"I - yesterday I just came to think that - well, I know you and I don't really know each other that well. At all, actually. But -" he paused, closing his eyes before he grabbed the bull by the horns.

"You've been so good to Kurt, And he loves you so much, and you clearly love him, and - I just thought how hard this must be for you. I mean, it's so hard on all of us, and we're not married to him. I really love him, he's one of the best friends I've ever had -" Sam trailed off, and Blaine had a bad feeling about where this was going so he cut in before he could stray anymore from what he was avoiding to say.

"Sam. We love you too, but could you please get to the point?" Blaine was impatient, and each second he wasn't by Kurt's side felt like it was growing closer.

"Yeah. Sorry. It's just - if Kurt, you know… I just want you to know that I still want us to be friends. Cause I really like you, Blaine, and I really want you to know that even though we've never really talked you can come to me." Sam's eyes persistently held Blaine's own locked making Blaine unsure of how to react.

How could he say such a thing? How could he even consider thinking the possibility? How could he take the words in his mouth and burst them out at Blaine like that?

"What the hell are you talking about? Nothing is going to happen to Kurt. He's gonna be just fine. He's just having a bad week, that's all. In a few days he'll be up and about in no time. You're such a jackass, Evans. Just - leave us the fuck alone," Blaine snapped before he hurried off the bench and marched towards the hospital entrance.

After he'd walked a few feet he felt it like a bucket of ice cubes were dropped over his head, running through his scalp and spreading to his body.

Blaine couldn't fight it; he stopped in the middle of the path and clasped his hands to his face tears overflowing his face, not caring who was looking or whispering about him.

Sam was right.

But before Blaine could get a hold of his brain again he felt a couple of arms embrace him, dragging him close, stroking his back.

Needles were piercing and punctuating every cell in his body, and fire was licking up his throat from the roars that was fighting to get out but only got caught.

He just realized that he had completely forgotten how people outside the hospital smelled like. The smell of cancer had become so normal to him that he didn't even consider it anymore, and he felt horrible now that it hit him.

Sam's arms felt strong and comforting around him, and Blaine just let it all out. He was sobbing hysterically, boring his fingers into Sam's back while having to stop himself from biting hard down in the boy's shoulder in a desperate attempt to make the pain go away.

"I am so sorry, man. I didn't mean to - I just though that I'd…" But Sam stopped talking. It was like he knew that there wasn't anything to say. That this was the moment Blaine had opened himself to the inevitable. What was coming.

Blaine's muscles felt like jelly, and he was sure that the only thing keeping him from falling to his knees on the pavement was Sam holding him up.

He started hyperventilating through his crying, and bit so hard on his lip that he reached a point where he didn't know whether it was tears or blood that was soaking his chin against Sam's jacket.

Blaine's eyes started itching as the tear trails on his face turned icy from the cold wind, and he wondered if he had completely dehydrated his body from crying. It wouldn't surprise him, he felt like he had been crying for hours, Sam not saying a word but simply stroking his hair and a hand brushing him up and down the back.

"He's gonna die. Isn't he?" Blaine's voice was thick. He almost didn't recognize it himself.

He didn't look at Sam. He was afraid to see the horror of honesty painted over his face.

Blaine let go of Sam and closed his eyes before he squeezed the boy's arm and walked back to the hospital, hearing Sam's footsteps only a few feet after him.

Sam had headed off again after their talk in the path outside. He had promised to come visit them the next day, and told Blaine to hold his head high.

"Thank you. Again. For loving Kurt the way you do," Sam had said as the last thing before he had walked across the parking lot leaving Blaine to enter the hospital alone.

Blaine had taken up the well known walk from the entrance hall to the elevators.

Once he stood inside the elevator and was to press the number 12 button he looked at the metal board with the index of the different floors of the hospital.

As his eyes met fourth floor he pressed the button without realizing he had done it until the doors opened and he stepped out.

He hadn't done this before, and he had no idea why he was doing it now. Wasn't this purposeless?

The floor was silent, only the hushed voices of doctors and nurses talking behind closed office doors, and the steps of people walking at the end of the hall, or the elevator proceeding to another floor behind him.

Some kind of magnetic wire was pulling inside him, telling him that this was the only thing he hadn't even spared a thought, so why shouldn't he try it?

Blaine stopped in the hallway, looking at the door in front of him, not knowing whether or not to open it or turn his back and walk away.

He felt frozen to the spot, and knew that he had to make a decision to not be in the way of people who were actually interested in going in, so he cleared his head, swallowed and pushed open the door.

The chapel was small and the atmosphere was pressing against his chest when he stepped inside. The room was only lit by the sunlight streaming through the colored mosaics and the lit candles at a table near the altar, causing Blaine to blink a few times to let his eyes get used to the dark.

It felt like the world had been put on mute, and if he said a word he would be punished gravely.

Not a single person was in sight, and Blaine felt a weight fall off his shoulders. He was still not sure why he had come here, and he couldn't cope with the thought of running into someone, and maybe having to interact with them in the form of a recognizing smile, or polite small talk - or maybe even someone trying to dig into why he was even at the hospital in the first place.

Blaine walked down the aisle to stand in front of the burning candles, feeling them blaze into his eyes, not caring about the stinging it caused his eye apples.

He turned to grab a match, and led his hand to light a candle in the midst of the already firing ones.

He stood for a moment observing the flames flickering in the colored glass and the shiny mahogany that was the benches before he soundlessly walked over to sit at the bench behind the first one.

He stared at the sad lifeless figure portraying Jesus on the cross hanging above the altar.

The sculpture looked bizarre and scary with the dark eyes and the mouth opened in a grotesque grimace, the blood running from the crown of thorns on his head, his skinny body presented in a weak posture in front of him.

The image made Blaine's insides turn to knots and he was sure that his breakfast was struggling to hold itself down.

Blaine inhaled heavily before he closed his eyes, folded his hands and exhaled.

"_O God and Heavenly Father,_

_Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed;_

_Courage to change that which can be changed,_

_And wisdom to know the one from the other_

_Through_

_Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen_"

Blaine had completely caught himself off guard. He had completely forgot that he even knew that prayer. He hadn't been to a church since he was a kid at his grandmother's funeral. His grandparents had been very religious people, and he recalled how he had visited them as a child and they had recited verses from the Bible to him.

When Blaine had just turned 15 he had decided that it had to be time. He came out to his mom one rainy November evening, he had cried and apologized for keeping it secret, and begged her not to tell his father. The next day he had come out to the only other gay guy in his school, and when he had come home hell had broke loose; a guy from the grade above him had overheard him and his friend talking about it. The guy's father worked with Blaine's father and it had all been an avalanche from there.

Blaine's father had screamed at him, calling him a sinner, a disgrace to the family name. Blaine had cried and apologized, ending with his father placing a flat slap on his cheek yelling at him to go to his room.

His mom had come to his room and held him in her arms, rocking him back and forth whilst stroking his hair and told him that it was going to be okay, that his father just needed some time to adjust to the thought.

That's when she had whispered the prayer in his ear to console him, tried her best to show him that she would love him no matter what, that he would always be her son, and in time he would be able to accept himself, and he would be strong in doing so.

"_Please, God. Help Kurt get better; help him get out of this. He's the most beautiful soul I have ever met. He's a good person and he doesn't deserve this. I will do anything, anything, as long as You will help him get better. Please…. Amen_," Blaine prayed in his mind, not daring to speak the words out loud. If there really was a God He would hear his prayers anyway, wouldn't He?

When Blaine entered Kurt's room he found Kurt sitting up in his bed a smile on his lips. He looked completely different than what he had when he had fallen asleep a few hours earlier. Like the spark was back in his eyes, and his optimistic spirit even stronger than it had been for weeks.

"Blaine. You're back? I've missed you so much," Kurt said, even his voice more like his own. It didn't sound as rasp as it had been for a long time.

When he was so well fit like this the tubes running into his nose, and the machines around him looked misplaced and irrationally overdone.

"Of course I came back. Did you have a good nap?" Blaine sat down on the side of the bed and put his arms around Kurt to hug him.

Blaine buried his nose in Kurt's hair, breathing in the scent of his hair, squeezing to feel his touch of Kurt's body against his own.

"Yeah. I did. I had this lovely dream. We had our own house, and a little backyard and we were all grown up," Kurt said in a hushed voice as he leaned back against the pillows and began playing with the ring on Blaine's finger.

Kurt kept complete focus on the ring for a few moments, Blaine smiling crookedly at his childlike game, when Kurt did a quick moment and moved all close to Blaine's face. So close that Blaine could feel Kurt's hot breath on his lips. He was completely mesmerized by how shiny Kurt's eyes were in that particular moment.

"I dreamed that I came home and walked through our house, and in our backyard you were sitting - grown up, gorgeous as ever. But - you were playing with this beautiful little girl. Blaine, she had your eyes, and your curls. We had a daughter, and it felt so right," Kurt whispered under his breath.

Stars were playing around in his eyes, and Blaine was certain that he wouldn't be able to stop smiling if he tried. There was a completely different glow to him than Blaine had ever seen.

"That sounds lovely. I hope she had your smile. I want a baby girl with your smile," Blaine responded with a chuckle.

The painful truth he had only just faced spooked in the back of his head, but he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud.

And what if things had changed?

Here they were, Kurt so full of energy and good mood, sprinkling with optimism and dreams. There might still be hope. The last the doctors had said was that they didn't want to rule out all hopes yet, because there might still be a chance for Kurt.

What if this was the miracle they had been waiting for?

So Blaine played along.

Kurt moved over and asked Blaine to come sit next to him on the bed, so Blaine crawled up and wrapped his arm around Kurt so he could rest his head against Blaine's chest.

Kurt's sunny mood continued, and he only needed the oxygen mask twice throughout the day. Puck came by with his guitar and played a few songs.

They laughed and when Kurt told Puck about his dream Puck's face had lit up the same way Kurt's did it when he talked about it.

"That is so perfect. I can just picture it. When we come home from our road trip to New York, you should find a nice house, and then when you've been living together for a year or so you should find one of those surrogate mothers. You could be the biological father to a kid each, so they would look like you," Puck eagerly let his mouth run over with.

"But hey, promise me to wait some time - you'll need some time for the joy of married life first, if you know what I'm saying." Puck winked at them, grinning broadly at his own cleverness.

Blaine couldn't help blushing as Kurt laughed at Puck's witty remark.

They spent the rest of the day with Kurt and Puck discussing the future of Kurt and Blaine's marriage, planning out every single detail, while Blaine listened and nodded, as he let his fingertips running up and down Kurt's arms and neck caressing his frame.

It was so strange, Blaine almost forgot that they were in the hospital; it felt like old times back in Kurt or Blaine's room when they didn't have a care in the world.

"I gotta go, guys. I promised my mom to come home early tonight. I have to watch my sisters while she's working late. But I'll be here early tomorrow. I promise. Keep looking good, Hummel. You know you're my favorite boy." Puck bent down to hug Blaine and kissed Kurt on the forehead.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Noah. Thanks for bringing your guitar today. It was lovely." Kurt smiled warmly, letting his bony hand brush over Puck's cheek, making him bite his lower lip before he headed for the door.

"Bye guys. Love ya," Puck said, and then he left the room.

"Maybe you should get some sleep now, babe. It's getting late, and you look exhausted," Blaine said truthfully, tugging a lock of hair behind Kurt's ear.

Kurt put his arm around Blaine's waist squeezing him as hard as he could, still greatly weak though.

"I know. I really am tired. But this is so nice, I could lie like this forever." Kurt dug his nose into Blaine's chest, letting his teeth playfully grab a nipple, making Blaine shiver, before Kurt kissed said nipple softly.

"We'll do it again tomorrow. As soon as you wake up I will crawl up here and cuddle you for the entire day, how does that sound?" Blaine suggested, still trying to shake off the chill from Kurt's teeth around his nipple.

"I'd love that," Kurt responded before he kissed Blaine's jaw and sat up.

"Puck is right, you know. As soon as I get out of here, and the doctors says it's okay we'll go on that trip, and when we are in New York we can look for a house. It doesn't have to be anything big. Just enough for you and me, and of course a room for Puck and one for Finn. And then when we get kids, we'll turn one of their rooms into a nursery. It's gonna be perfect."

Kurt's voice was eager, and it seemed like the fire that Blaine had fallen in love with in Kurt had been ignited once again. He even had a little rosy color to his cheeks and his lips looked so full.

Blaine couldn't control himself, and he didn't want to. He let both his hands up to cup Kurt's face and forced himself to hold Kurt's gaze fixated, before he leaned in to let his lips meet Kurt's. Soft and patiently.

He didn't let his tongue slide into Kurt's mouth, he didn't let his lips work against Kurt's. He simply held them together, felt the warmth of Kurt's mouth against his own, the taste of his breath turning Blaine's brain dizzy as always when they kissed.

When they parted Blaine didn't let his hands fall from Kurt's face. He returned to the position with their noses so close that they almost touched.

"We're going to have that some day. And it's gonna be wonderful, and everything will work out great. I want you to be the father of my children." Blaine didn't blink, and neither did Kurt.

"I love you, Blaine. Don't you ever forget that," Kurt said in a steady voice that was completely his own taking Blaine completely off guard.

"I love you too. Always, and only you," Blaine responded, finally allowing himself to blink, before he leaned in to kiss Kurt's nose, and crawled out of the bed.

"You should sleep. Let me sing to you." Blaine started arranging the pillows for Kurt to lie down without coughing all the time.

When Kurt placed his head on the pillow that had been Blaine's at home, Blaine brushed a hand over his hair.

"I really don't understand why you keep wearing that old Dalton shirt," chuckled Blaine, sitting down in the chair, reaching for Kurt's hand.

"It smells like you, and it feels like you. It makes me sleep better. I am positive that it chases away bad dreams," Kurt stated, as a matter-of-factly, like it was the most logic thing in the world.

Blaine decided not to object with his usual argument that he hadn't worn it for ages, and instead he let his fingers intertwine with Kurt's.

"Will you promise not to let go off my hand, no matter what happens?" Kurt asked, suddenly sounding very small, almost afraid.

"I'll never let you go. I promise. Not in a million years - or even after that." Blaine assured him with a smile, before he started singing slowly.

"_You make me, feel like I'm living a - Teenage Dream_…"


	15. Chapter 15

A doctor pushed Blaine so he woke up with a shock. He looked confused around him in the room where a group of doctors and nurses were flocking around Kurt's bed.

He was still cramming Kurt's hand in his own two, but he realized that he had fallen asleep, and he felt a sting of guilt run through him.

What if Kurt had called for the doctors because something was wrong and he hadn't woken up Blaine because he wanted to let him sleep? Didn't Kurt know that he didn't want to sleep? That he wanted to be there if something was wrong.

"Sir. You have to let go of his hand." A nurse had leaned down to face Blaine. Her voice was soft, sympathetic, and her eyes were concerned.

"No. He needs me. He'll let go when he feels like it. I promised that I wouldn't let go. Kurt, tell them," Blaine whimpered, now even more confused than ever.

He tried catching Kurt's eyes but there were way too many doctors surrounding him for Blaine to even see his face, so he stood up, hand still grasping around Kurt's, desperately trying to get through the doctors.

Their voices were stressed, and the nurse took a step over to place a hand on Blaine's shoulder, looking at him with a strange expression on her face.

"Sir. I am sorry, but you need to step away and let the doctors do their job." Her voice was still soft, but firm too now.

Blaine was starting to get angry. How could they not understand that Kurt needed him to be by his side? He was probably scared, so Blaine squeezed his hand a little extra.

And that's when it happened. One of the doctors left the room, making an open spot in the chaos for Blaine to see Kurt.

Pale, with closed eyes and lips slightly parted. His one arm hanging over the edge of the bed still holding Blaine's hand, and his head resting on Blaine's pillow, the Dalton shirt so baggy on his skinny torso that it looked like it was trying to swallow him.

But on his lips were a tiny hint of a smile, making him look more peaceful than Blaine had seen him in almost a year.

It was like when Titanic hit the iceberg. Like being pushed into a pool of slushies.

Blaine took a step back, almost falling over the chair, as reality hit him.

"Time of death; 5:33am," one doctor said, while looking at his wristwatch as another doctor lifted a white sheet to let Kurt's face disappear under it.

"No," Blaine whispered.

"No. No. He can't be. What are you doing? This is - this is insane," he mumbled, completely frozen in the spot, unable to move or look away.

He couldn't be sure, but he felt the doctors looking at him, and he thought that far away the nurse was saying something, but it could just as well be some white noise from a great distance. But in the end it really didn't matter.

All Blaine could do now was sit down and wait for Burt and Carol to come, his hand still holding Kurt's in a firm grip.

**Extra note:** _one more chapter will come, I will not leave you with this_


	16. Chapter 16

DL links to songs can be found here: .com/post/14974289449/across-the-universe

The visitation was awful.

Blaine had felt sick, and was torn between wanting to leave and not wanting to leave ever. He had stood at the end of the room watching the others say goodbye to Kurt, but he couldn't get himself to go up there. He wasn't ready to say goodbye yet.

He stood there himself listening to Burt talking about how he had lost a wife, and now a son. About how proud he was of Kurt, and how Kurt was the one he loved most in this world. Blaine had to tune it out. He couldn't stand listening to it, couldn't understand how people could talk about Kurt in that way, like he was gone for good - couldn't stand thinking that it was true.

After Burt had finished Puck asked to say a few words. As he stood up Blaine saw how swollen his eyes were, and how much his fingers were trembling. Blaine felt a sudden urge to rush up and embrace him, or just hold his hand. But he didn't. He was completely motionless.

"_When I first got to know Kurt I wasn't very nice to him. _

_In fact, I was a real bully. _

_I tossed him into dumpsters daily, and laughed at the person he was. But now - he's my best friend._

_He's taught me so much; about life, about boys and girls, about how to be around other people. _

_And about myself._

_I truly believe that I have become a better person after we became friends._

_I have never been so comfortable and happy as I have been in those hours spent with Kurt and Blaine - and Finn. We're like the Four Musketeers._

_All for one, one for all and that crap._

_I can't imagine my life without Kurt. I miss him like crazy. Nothing is ever gonna be the same again._

_I love you, Hummel."_

Throughout the entire speech Puck had been hesitating and pausing to swallow, to sniff or even to dry his eyes, but now it had become too much for him.

Puck broke down. It was painful to watch. He almost couldn't stand by himself, and Rachel had to run to help him safely down to his seat where he had sat sobbing into her shoulder.

Up next was Finn. He looked more uncomfortable than Blaine had ever seen him. He had a hard time focusing as he couldn't stop himself listening to the lyrics of the song that was silently played in the background.

_A Place Nearby _by Lene Marlin.

It was brutal, and Blaine did his best not to listen to it, but he couldn't completely overhear it. It kept breaking through to his thoughts and mixing up with the constant repetition of _Blackbird _that refused to leave him alone, making him feel like he was on the edge of insanity.

Finn stood there, in front of the small gathering looking like his legs were about to fail him. He had messed up the words and almost fell down the step he had stepped up at.

He had talked about their school time together, how hard it had been for him to accept the fact that their parents were together, and how he had come to protect Kurt and see him as his best friend. Eventually he had wrapped it shortly up with:

"_He's my brother, my guidance. I love him_."

As Finn sat back down in his seat Rachel tiptoed to take his place, singing a beautiful version of _My Man _from Funny Girl. Tears were streaming down her face, but she didn't miss a note. She turned her fingers over and over in her hands, as she sang out not caring that her mascara was running, turning her face into an almost grotesque mask.

Burt had thanked them for coming, swallowing his tears until the room had emptied out and no one was there to see him but Carol and Blaine.

As people left the room the speakers softly flowed with the tunes of _Nan's Song _by Robbie Williams, making Blaine feel like screaming.

He had insisted on getting to be the last person in the room. But he couldn't go up there. He couldn't see Kurt like this.

"…_you were only waiting for this moment to arise_."

The song had been stuck in Blaine's head for two days now. It had been going round and round in his head in Kurt's voice, and no matter what he did, he couldn't stop it.

He hadn't listened to music. At all. He just couldn't. It felt pointless, and also kind of idiotic to do so. It wasn't like there was anything to sing about anymore.

The too known nightmare kept creeping in on him. The images wouldn't let go, and they were so much more vivid now that he was so close. That was also the reason he hadn't slept for days.

_After he had to leave the hospital with a bag of his and Kurt's things he had gone back to the Hummel-Hudson house. That had been where he and Kurt had been together, and he couldn't go back to his parents' house._

_Puck had stayed at the Hummel-Hudson house too. Burt had asked him to. He didn't want Blaine to be alone, and Blaine had refused to talk to anyone. When he had come home he had gone straight to Kurt and his room where he had laid in their bed with his pillow that Kurt had brought to the hospital. _

_It was the thing to smell the freshest of Kurt, and he was sickeningly afraid that he would forget how he smelled. If first he forgot how he smelled, then all other memories would disappear too._

Now Blaine was in his car, in the passenger seat with Puck at the wheel. He was too catatonic to drive himself, so Puck had offered to take him.

As Blaine didn't say a word, and only responded by nodding or shaking his head whenever Puck asked him something Puck gave it up. Instead he turned on the radio, but only for a brief second before he turned it back off in panic.

_Teenage Dream_.

All of the memories came crashing down over him.

The first time he had seen Kurt on the stairs in Dalton. Singing, flirtatiously looking at Kurt, without knowing what impact he would have on his life.

Their first kiss, the first time he had told Kurt that he loved him and Kurt had been baffled but returned his love. Kurt spending an entire summer convincing Blaine that he should transfer to McKinley, Kurt congratulating him with flowers after his opening night on West Side Story. Their fights. The first time they had sex. Kurt's graduation, his own graduation and their hangout's with college friends. Kurt curled up in laughter on the bed wearing Blaine's Dalton hoodie. Kurt waking up in the middle of the night waking up Blaine to tell him that he loved him. Their trip to Vegas. Their poor wedding, but amazing wedding night. Their talk of getting a house and having kids, only a few days before.

Their entire life together, in short images flashing in his brain. Each time an image disappeared it was replaced by the image of Kurt on his hospital bed looking so beautifully angelic, peaceful, before it faded into next memory.

Puck stopped the engine ripping Blaine out of his numbing train of thoughts. He almost couldn't feel anything anymore. All there was inside of him was pitch-black nothingness.

As he stepped out of the car Puck was already on his side waiting for him, but hesitated when he was saw that someone was waiting for Blaine.

Puck quickly realized that this wasn't a conversation that involved him. He walked across the pebbles by the end of the church parking lot to wait for Blaine.

"Hey honey. I - I just wanted to be here for you. To pay my respects, and support you. I loved Kurt too." Blaine's mom brushed his arm, obviously not expecting a response. She smiled sympathetically at him before she hugged him.

"I had planned to come visit you at the hospital the other day. I had found something I wanted you to have. You and Kurt." Susan paused and looked at Blaine, as if to observe if there even was life behind the face.

"I noticed your wedding rings were a little untraditional, and Kurt had mentioned that you had agreed to find new ones, more classic ones, as soon as you came home from your trip." She drew a breath, still looking for reaction, and still getting nothing in return.

"My mother gave me my grandparents' wedding rings when they passed away. She told me to give them to you once you grew up and met a sweet girl to marry. She never knew about you being gay, you were so young when she passed away." She let her hand stroke his cheek for a second before she put her hand in her pocket and drew out a little black box.

"I know that these rings are for a man and a woman - but I wanted to give them to you as a gesture, a symbol. These rings are rightfully yours, Blaine, and I wanted you to have them so you could give the one to the person you love, to Kurt." She folded his hand around the box and watched as he opened it and looked at the rings.

One of the rings was classic and all silver, with a clean cut. The other one was silver too but smaller and more elegant with three stones on the top. They really were beautiful.

"Thanks. Mom," Blaine forced out thickly, swallowing and looking away as he put the rings into his pocket.

His mom didn't say anything. She just nodded and grabbed his hand leading him towards Puck.

As they passed her car Blaine saw his dad sitting inside with a motionless mask on his face. Blaine had no idea how he would have reacted to this on any other day, but right now he couldn't care less.

When they entered the church there was an overwhelmingly amount of people. People he hadn't seen for years, people he had no idea even knew that Kurt was -

Blaine did everything to avoid looking at the end of aisle where the casket stood. Open, with a picture of Kurt smiling out at them at the foot of the casket.

The feelings that hadn't been there for two days were starting to return. A buzzing feeling was spreading through his skin all over his body, and he felt like scratching his skin off until the feeling would go away.

Mr. Schuester was there, Coach Sylvester was there, a small selection of The Warblers had shown too - even David Karofsky was sitting in a corner a little away from the entire group of New Directions from high school.

The church was a sea of black, and Blaine started feeling nauseated as he walked down the aisle to take his place at the front row. He could feel people staring at him, sending him _that_ look. The look he had been so sure he would never be at the receiving end of.

Susan had to sit down at the row behind him, instead he got to sit next to Finn who was tripping restlessly with his foot on the ground looking nervously around on the full church.

Then it all started. The bells rang loudly over their heads, and the organ started playing. Hymns were sung, and the minister talked about what a strong boy Kurt had been, all of the obstacles he had been put through but still stood his ground, how talented he had been in so many different aspects, and what a good friend and intelligent person he was. He ended up with telling how Kurt had found someone that had helped him go from being a depressed and confused boy that blossomed into a happy, life loving boy.

"And now Blaine, Kurt's husband, wants to share something with us. With Kurt. For Kurt," the minister ended his speech, making the whole church buzz with whispering.

Blaine had completely forgot that only a very few people knew that they had got married, but now it didn't matter. This was about Kurt.

Blaine got up to stand in front of the black sea in front of him, closed his eyes, and sang:

_Like a cometBlazing 'cross the evening skyGone too soonLike a rainbowFading in the twinkling of an eyeGone too soonShiny and sparklyAnd splendidly brightHere one dayGone one nightLike the loss of sunlightOn a cloudy afternoonGone too soonLike a castleBuilt upon a sandy beachGone too soonLike a perfect flowerThat is just beyond your reachGone too soonBorn to amuse, to inspire, to delightHere one dayGone one nightLike a sunsetDying with the rising of the moonGone too soonGone too soon_

Blaine hadn't cried for two days; he didn't think he was able to cry anymore, after several months of constant tearing up. But now he did.

Big, fat, warm tears were soaking his face, making his voice threat to fail him in the middle of the song. But he continued. Letting the drops stroll, not caring that they would probably ruin his suit, and Kurt would have killed him for it. What did it matter?

People didn't clap after he finished. All he could hear was sobbing and sniffing, watching their friends from high school with arms around each other, or crying into a handkerchief.

Blaine sat back down in his seat between teary-eyed Finn, and Burt who grabbed his hand the second he sat next to him.

"That was beautiful, son. Thank you," Burt thanked him under his breath, before the minister announced that if people wanted to they should be free to come say something.

No one stood up to say anything, so after a brief moments waiting the minister announced that people could have a minute to say one last goodbye to Kurt before the casket would be taken to where he would be buried.

A long line of people formed as they all wanted to have one moment with Kurt. Blaine stayed seated. He wanted to be the last one. He needed to be the last one. He couldn't do it with all these people staring at him. It was painful enough as it was.

He watched as the line got shorter and shorter in sync with his heart getting smaller and smaller in his chest, and the hole in his stomach grew bigger.

Puck, Finn and Rachel had waited with him, and he watched as they cried and said their last words, and placed memories for Kurt in the casket. Luckily he saw that someone had already pinned the silver G clef from Sam to his collar.

Rachel placed two tickets from when she and Kurt had seen Wicked together the time he had visited her in New York, small gold stars all over the tickets of course.

Finn placed a photo of the Hummel-Hudson family from Burt and Carol's wedding. They all looked so happy and like a family holding each other, in that picture. He also gave the screaming pink pocket square Kurt had forced him into wearing at their graduation at McKinley High.

Puck placed a postcard with a picture of the Statue Of Liberty on it, and the text "_one day I'll meet you there, buddy_" on the back, before he broke completely down so Finn and Rachel had to help him to the side.

This was it. Now it was Blaine's turn and all of his intestines were fighting each other to escape his body via his throat.

He couldn't figure out if he wanted to scream or cry or just not have any reaction at all.

He grabbed into his pocket where he found a key hanger from The Lima Bean and placed it next to Puck's postcard, along with the picture from their wedding - smiling, in love, with bare feet and pajama pants. Then he grabbed back into his pocket and found the little black box where he took out the man's ring and placed it on his free ring finger, before he took the woman's ring and placed it inside Kurt's hand.

As a last Blaine drew out a folded piece of paper and placed it in the hand he had just placed the ring. He stood for a second with his hand holding Kurt's, feeling his skin against his one last time.

He wanted so badly to lean down and kiss him, but it felt wrong.

He was beautiful, but he looked like a wax figure of himself, a parody and it made everything turn inside Blaine.

Even the outfit Blaine had chosen for him looked wrong. He had lost so much weight that it was way too lose over his skinny body.

Burt had asked Blaine to pick out a set of clothes for Kurt as he himself had no idea what to choose, and he trusted that Blaine had some sort of inside knowledge to Kurt's style.

It hadn't taken more than a minute for Blaine to decide. He didn't even have to go to Kurt's closet to find an outfit, because Blaine knew that this particular set was still in his collection.

Blaine had chosen the black jeans, and dress shirt with the waist coat that Kurt had worn the day he had announced Pavarotti's death back in Dalton. The outfit he had worn the moment where Blaine had realized that he couldn't fight his feelings for Kurt any longer.

It had fitted him perfectly that day, but now it looked like he had been shrunk, or the clothes had got stretched into weird proportions, so Blaine quickly told himself to move on.

Then the feeling had returned. The mixed feeling of wanting to run away and never face anyone ever again, and staying there by the casket, holding Kurt's hand and never letting go.

Blaine closed his eyes, and felt the needles run from his lungs through his throat and over his tongue as he drew a heavy breath before he opened his eyes to take one last look at Kurt.

He bent down, letting his face as close to Kurt's as it was possible without actually kissing him, and whispered;

"_I'll never say goodbye to you_."

Then he turned to face the others. Everyone was gathered by the end of the church, waiting for him to finish, so the casket could be closed and the rest of the pallbearers would join him so they could carry Kurt outside.

When Blaine turned to face them Burt, Finn, Puck, Sam and Mike came up to him. The casket got closed and they lifted it.

In some ways it felt like it weighed a ton, and in other ways it felt like it didn't weigh anymore than a feather.

All the way down the aisle Blaine was afraid that he would trip, or something else would happen so he would screw up in some way. But he didn't.

As they exited the church everyone followed them, and gathered around the family burial plot. Burt had made sure he got a spot next to his mom, which had consoled Blaine a little. At least he was with his mom now.

As they watched the casket being sunk into the ground Blaine saw his father standing in the midst of the crying crowd. He wasn't talking to anyone, he kept himself in the middle of people he had never met before who hadn't had the slightest idea that he was Blaine's father, but all he was looking at was Blaine.

Blaine couldn't wrap his mind around how to react to his father's presence, so he directed his focus back to the last he would ever get to see of Kurt, when he felt Burt's hand safely lock around his and squeeze it in the fatherly way Blaine knew so well from him.

After the casket had been sunk into the ground Blaine had needed to shake hands, and hug everyone at the cemetery.

Their old teachers, old high school friends even people he didn't know.

It turned out that once Coach Sylvester had heard what had happened she had forced the new principal at McKinley High to name the stage of the auditorium the Kurt Hummel-stage, which she now said that she would get changed to the Kurt Hummel-Anderson stage before they finished the copper sign.

Karofsky had come over to Blaine and shaken his hand. Through tears he had apologized once more for what he had done to Kurt, and congratulated them on getting married, before he hugged Blaine through sobs.

"I am so sorry about this. Kurt was the best guy I've ever known. I don't know if I'd even be here today without him," Karofsky had said before he had let go of Blaine, leaving room for everyone else.

Now Blaine was sitting in Kurt's room that he considered his own, listening to the buzzing of people downstairs. Burt had invited the people closest to Kurt home to the Hummel-Hudson house, and Blaine knew immediately that he wouldn't be able to do the whole social thing so he had discretely retreated to their room, well knowing that no one would object.

He laid down on the bed and closed his eyes, feeling the room around him, the bed under him and let himself go back to his times with Kurt in the room, well aware of the pain this would cause to run through him like an exploding volcano.

He stayed there with his nose dug into Kurt's pillow and bedspread, letting his tears merciless overflow everything surrounding him, as he lost all feeling of time and place.

As it got darker there was a knock on the door. Blaine didn't answer, just hoped that whoever it was would go away and leave him alone. Forever.

The second the mattress worked Blaine knew that it was Puck who sat down next to him, and he didn't even bother to turn around, or even open his eyes.

"Come on, man. Everyone's left. Let's get you into some other clothes so you can come to bed. I'll stay here with you," Puck whispered through the dark, letting a hand run softly up and down Blaine's arm.

When there was no reaction he stood up, and Blaine could hear him go through drawers before he returned to the bed where he dropped a pile of clothes.

"Here. Put these on. When you've done that I promise I'm not gonna bug you any longer. Just do it, Blaine. For me -" Puck begged him. His voice was soft and filled with concern. It made Blaine's chest pound with pain, but gratitude that Puck was willing to spend time on him, when Puck so clearly was devastated himself.

Blaine sat up in the bed and halfheartedly changed his clothes. He just let the tie, the white dress shirt and the black slacks end on the floor, not caring the slightest, before he crawled under the covers and Puck returned from the bathroom where he had changed into his own pajamas.

When Puck saw that Blaine was already in bed he crawled under the covers too and tugged in Blaine. He didn't hold around him, but Blaine knew that if he needed it Puck would do it.

Blaine didn't say anything, but he was certain that while he was lying in the dark waiting to fall asleep, soundlessly crying, Puck was crying too. Blaine wanted to turn around and try to comfort his friend, but he didn't see how he would be able to comfort him when it was the same reason that he was shattered himself.

Instead they didn't say a word to each other for the rest of the night, merely waited to fall asleep.

For the next couple of days Blaine didn't leave the room. He stayed under the covers not moving, not eating, not doing anything but lying with eyes closed trying to fight off the memories causing that excruciating pain in his chest, making him feel like he was pinned to the bed, every now and then he allowed himself to cry uncontrollably only to sob himself into a troubled sleep filled with different scenery of dark rooms where Blaine would find himself sitting on the floor sobbing into Kurt's lifeless corpse.

As he laid there in the dark he even caught himself blaming God.

Blaine knew what Kurt's point of views were on any kind of religion, and he knew that his father valued religion very strongly - but he had never had any kind of connection to religion himself. Not until Kurt had got really sick.

Here he was, though, swearing and cursing at God, without even knowing if he believed that there was a God.

"How - _how_ could you take him from me? He's all I ever had. There was so much we still needed to do, to see -" Blaine cried, over and over again, immediately feeling ridiculous, because who was supposed to hear his cries?

"Please, please, _please _take care of him God. He's the sweetest angel You could ever have claimed for Yourself. Please, please, please…" was the way he would beg and whimper with folded hands and eyes locked at the gray sky outside the window, or eyes squeezed shot so hard that his tears almost couldn't escape.

He felt pathetic, and ashamed of himself that he turned to God in such a situation - going against Kurt's beliefs in order to beg someone unknown to save Kurt.

After a day or two Puck and Finn tried talking to him; tried convincing him that he needed to get out and be around people, but he only responded with nods and grunts, or occasionally single syllable words.

After both Burt and Carol had tried talking to him, sharing their stories on the painful experiences on how it was to lose a spouse and he still refused to talk to anyone they called his mom.

That hadn't helped either. He had felt himself back to that November night after he had come out to his father - very much like that day she had sat on the edge of his and Kurt's bed, held his hand and stroked his hair. She had sung him quiet songs and wiped the tears off his cheeks, but he hadn't talked to her. The closest thing to talking he had gotten was his weak whimpering of "_why_?"

When she was about to leave she had asked him to come home, but he denied.

"_This is my home now_," Blaine had said. She had nodded understanding, kissed his forehead and left the room.

Now it had been four days since the funeral. Funeral - the concept seemed so surreal as the word swam around in Blaine's foggy brain.

He didn't get to let the thought fastened itself in his mind though, cause the door was slammed open, making Blaine jump a little from the shock.

"Anderson. Enough is enough."

Puck crossed the room, and dumped down on the bed next to Blaine, letting his arm around Blaine's waist, forcing him to face Puck.

"Noah. Please. Just leave me alone. I'm not up for anything today," Blaine pleaded despairingly.

"So you can speak? I was starting to think someone had stolen your tongue. You haven't said a word for days. Anyway - I don't care what you're up to. I got the car packed, and I am just waiting for you. I talked to Burt and Carol so they know everything."

Puck grabbed around Blaine's arm and forced him to sit up in the bed.

When Blaine looked to the floor next to the bed he saw that his own bag was fully packed next to the bed, and before he knew it Puck had grabbed the pillow out of his grip.

"We're going to New York. We promised Kurt, so we're doing it. Enough of your bullshit. If he saw you like this he would be crushed, and you know it. Now we're going out to fulfill his dreams. I packed the most necessary stuff, the rest we'll figure out on the way." Puck's voice was a mix of proud and wistful.

Puck bent down to the bag and grabbed out a pile of clothes and threw it on the bed in front of Blaine.

"Here. Take a shower and meet me at the car in 30 minutes." Then he left Blaine sitting in the bed looking perplexed at the door he had shot after him.

The first thing Blaine noticed when he climbed into the passenger seat of his own car was the little miniature statue of the Eiffel Tower that was hanging from the rearview mirror.

Blaine recognized it immediately. It was the same one that Kurt had given Blaine in Las Vegas.

"You're up. You actually showered and shaved and now you're sitting here. Let's go!" Puck grinned at Blaine before he started the engine and drove out of the driveway.

Blaine forced an awkward smile at Puck, not really feeling ready for smiling yet, but he didn't want to disappoint his eager friend.

The first hour and a half the atmosphere in the car was tensed. They didn't talk and they didn't listen to the radio. Only the sound of rain on the windows and the cars on the road was heard.

They passed a little diner on some small road where they decided to drive in to get some lunch.

Blaine hadn't eaten for days, and he still wasn't sure he could. He felt dizzy, and the thought of food made him nauseous, but he still ordered something to eat anyway - if he hadn't Puck would have killed him. No doubt there.

"Puck, I - thank you. For those beautiful words at the - the other day. I wanted to say something - I had written it all out. But I couldn't." Blaine let his fork play around with some fruit on his plate without looking up at Puck. He was ashamed and hated himself for not having been able to do that simple gesture.

"That's cool. I meant it," Puck responded with a dark look on his face. The memory was still hurting him too.

"Can I - you know, can I maybe hear it?" Puck hesitated. He was clearly nervous that he was crossing the line, and Blaine would end up closing up again.

"I… I gave it to - him. So he would have it even though I chickened out." Blaine felt like kicking himself. Why couldn't he have done that last thing for Kurt? And he couldn't even bring himself to say his name. It was way too painful.

"But yeah. Sure. I've got it completely memorized. I read it over and over again to make sure it was good enough. It's not really anything though," Blaine added.

"I'm sure it's great. You're so eloquent, with all your words and all that," Puck assured him.

Then silence fell over the table. They sat looking out the window, and Blaine suddenly became very aware that he was wearing Kurt's favorite Dalton sweatshirt. It still smelled a little like him - it was almost as if he was there with them and the words just came by themselves, naturally.

"_When I met Kurt I was nothing but a boy. _

_A scared little boy who was afraid to let the world see who he was. _

_I had transferred from one school to another to run away, and in Dalton I was safe. But I wasn't me. At that point I didn't even know who 'me' was anymore._

_But then Kurt came into my life. Like an angel on those stairs. Just waiting to let me take his hand and become a part of my life._

_I was head over heels in love with Kurt from that moment. I just didn't want to admit it. But I was. And one day - everything just seemed to fall into place._

_Kurt taught me that it was okay to be me. Kurt showed me who I am, because he knew me better than I knew myself. _

_Kurt is - a part of me. A part of who I am. When I lock my fingers with his; I feel whole, complete._

_I've always been a hopeless romantic, everyone knows that, but it wasn't until I met Kurt that I started believing in soul mates. Kurt is the other half of my soul, my heart. The day we got married was very possibly the happiest day of my life - only sharing the spot with the day we actually got together._

_The last few months have been tough. I have never been so scared in my entire life. But Kurt just - all the way Kurt has held his head high. He is the strongest person I have ever met._

_I don't know how I should ever live without him._

_Kurt isn't just this person in my life._

_Kurt is my best friend, my soul mate, my husband - my hero._

_He has made my teenage dreams come true."_

_Kurt. I will never stop loving you."_

Tears streamed down Puck's face as he looked at Blaine in admiration. He blinked a few times, his mouth slightly open, clearly trying to grasp a hold of himself enough to utter some sort of response.

"That was - powerful. Beautiful. That was Kurt," Puck finally got out, and with the last three words he let his hand over the table to close around Blaine's.

"This. What you have - that's fucking true love. What all of us have been looking for our whole life. You got it." Puck sniffed and wiped tears off his cheeks before he squeezed Blaine's hand one last time and then got up.

"Let's get out of here and move on. 10 hours is a long drive, man."

Blaine got out of his seat too and followed Puck to the car. The wind was chilly but refreshing as it crept through the cotton hoodie, making a shiver run through Blaine before he sat down in the warm passenger seat of the car.

"So - when I start this baby in a moment we're headed out of Ohio. Are you ready for this, Anderson?" Puck asked, a feigned ecstasy to leave the tears from the diner behind.

"Yeah. I am. Just a second though," Blaine said and reached his hand down his bag. He drew out his wallet where he found an old picture of Kurt he had held in his wallet for god-knows-how-long.

The picture was taken on Kurt's 20th birthday. Blaine had woken him up early so they had some time to be together before school, and they had spent the time on cuddling up in bed, kissing and being close. In the picture Kurt was wearing one of Blaine's McKinley High t-shirts, and he had sex hair from the night before. He was grinning broadly after he had fought Blaine to get him to not take a picture, but in the end he had given up. It was in times like these that Blaine found him most beautiful - all relaxed and natural, no worries; just them and Kurt's smile.

Blaine felt a strong need to kiss the picture, but he didn't as he thought that even Puck would find that a little too strange.

Instead he fastened the photo in the rearview mirror next to the Eiffel Tower.

"Let's do this. For Kurt?" Puck said.

"For Kurt."


End file.
